08-01-2011, 08:37 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
| | No intimacy
Hello all, i'm currently in a on going problem with my wife. Simply put my wife is lacking the intimacy and desire we once had.
A bit about us, i'm 25 and shes 28, shes a nurse and i'm run my own business as a application developer aka programmer. We recently had a child which is 8months now. I have tried my best to help her in every way such as cooking pretty much every day for the last 2 years, watching the kid when she is at work which amounts to 3 days at 12hrs as well as at night ( for at least 5 months she was absent in child care ). I also wash the dishes and clothes on a daily basis and try to clean up often. To add to this i take time out to show her i care about her, with a kiss ,a hug or funful playing throughout the day.
MOst of the time i'm greeted with a quick turn away, "i just kissed you" statement, not now or anything else she can come up with. After a while i just get feed up with being turn down and stop all together. She wasnt like this before she used to be the one always around me ,always wanting affection .
Most of this i think has is a result of ppd after the child birth. She had it for a month after birth but thought it got better. Also her mom has gotten breast cancer again so i know this has hit hard with her, lastlty she hates her job and has been searching for a while to move with no luck.
As you may notice she has a lot on her plate now and i try to ensure her and give her the support she needs, long venting talks.. encouraging her etc, just to show her that i really do care about her feelings and understand the problems she is going through.So the fact that she doesnt think about sex is pretty much a giving and i've learned to live with the fact that I pretty much live in a sexless marriage. But the lack of other forums of intimacy AND no sex, its either one or the other but not both.
We have had long talks, some heated others calm, about this problem but seems likes it fixes itself for a week and then back to the same ol thing.
Now goimg with the natural theme of expecting responses I would be surprised to hear someone say maybe shes tired or needs more help. Clearly i have tired this and with the fact that i'm watching the kid 12hrs in the day then doing the night shift While trying to get work done doesn't seem to hit home with her like i cant get tired at all, and when i'm i still ensure to be there for her. On the other hand i get no support from her and its been like this for a almost 2 years right before we started to try for a kid.
Maybe i'm being selfish but i would like to hear from another woman perspective on how i can better this problem. It seems ive tried everything but not getting anywere which has resulted me to either sleeping on the couch or in another room (by choice) to lessen the fact that when we do lay in our bed its emotionless like we are just roommates , what else i'm to do.