Re: Husband only shows intimacy when he wants sex
This is the female version of "my wife only wants cuddles, not sex".
Truthfully, I think many men do this inadvertently sometimes, and/or many women feel this way from time to time. Obviously the issue is that, in this case, it's ALL the time.
It's probably simpler than you think to stop this pattern. Communication. Simply tell your husband that your need for non-sexual contact (ie. cuddling, etc.) is on-par with his need for sexual contact.
Given his reaction, I'm guessing you essentially told him something along the lines of "you only touch me when you want sex" or "you only ever want sex", thus his reaction of "fine, I won't try to have sex with you any more". Now you're both at the same impasse, neither of you getting what you need from the other.
Not your fault, of course - his reaction is immature and rather selfish. However, proper wording may go a long way to changing his view on this subject.
Like I said, make him understand your need for non-sexual contact is the same as his need for sexual contact. If he doesn't understand, or "get" it, then you may be stuck, but I think you'd be surprised.
On the other hand, we men are, admittedly, fairly easy to manipulate when it comes to sex...
Some people (of either gender) tend to require emotional foreplay, which ramps up the sexual desire. Some people require sexual foreplay to ramp up the emotional desire. It seems as though you are the former and your husband is the latter.
Therefore, a possible solution is for each of you to compromise with each other, which will result in both of you having your needs met.
For example, you can show him sexual desire (ie. touch him, grab him, jump on him), and he can show you non-sexual desire (ie. cuddling, holding hands, spooning).
The upside for both of you is that there's a high probability that this will increase his desire to be close to you in a non-sexual way and increase your desire to be close to him in a sexual way.
As each of you are responsible for meeting the others relationship needs, it requires effort on both parts and compromise.
In other words: the more you show purely sexual interest in him, the more he will be interested in simply emotional, non-sexual time with you. The more he meets your needs, the more you will be interested in being sexual with him. Know what I mean?