Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Well.... I was looking through my h's computer tonight and i found porn.. I asked him about it and he played dumb. Then he put everything on me. The last time i found it i told him if i find it again i am gone. He knows how i feel about it. We haven't had sex in almost 2 months. He said i dont look at that ****... then how did it get there... He cant blame his 19 year old son for it now.. He no longer lives here... I wonder what else he has been lying about... I am so hurt over this..
I called my mom tonight and asked her if my son and I can stay with her and her h for a bit, until i can get on my feet and get a job (i am a stay at home mom.) And get some money saved up so i can get a place of my own... This is going to kill my 2 year old son... I have been home with him since the day he was born.. I am torn to pieces, but i cant continue to live like this anymore.
You guys are the only ones i have to talk to (sad i know)
That's probably why he watches porn, you aren't doing it enough.
I think alot of women only see the bad aspects of porn, yes he is looking at other people having sex but it's not like he would have sex with them irl.
In alot of marriages the wife is usually too tired or jaded to have sex every day, and porn can atleast take some off the load of you.
That's probably why he watches porn, you aren't doing it enough.
I think alot of women only see the bad aspects of porn, yes he is looking at other people having sex but it's not like he would have sex with them irl.
In alot of marriages the wife is usually too tired or jaded to have sex every day, and porn can atleast take some off the load of you.
No! i am the one who wants sex more then once every 2 months. I would like a minimum of once a week. I am never to tired.. I have also never told him NO! I want sex and he knows it.
In my opinion, your marriage is not healthy at all.
You want sex, he needs sex, but he would rather look at porn and have his needs met by masturbating, I guess.
Does he resent you?
And because you don't work, he is in control of you financially.
I won't walk out of his house now. I will plan everything secretly. I will leave him for sure if he doesn't become nice to me, but I will do this secretly.
Work on myself, get a job, get my self confidence back, then walk out on him one day.................................
In my opinion, your marriage is not healthy at all.
You want sex, he needs sex, but he would rather look at porn and have his needs met by masturbating, I guess.
Does he resent you?
And because you don't work, he is in control of you financially.
I won't walk out of his house now. I will plan everything secretly. I will leave him for sure if he doesn't become nice to me, but I will do this secretly.
Work on myself, get a job, get my self confidence back, then walk out on him one day.................................
walk out? that's not the first step. how about marriage counseling to see what the real issues are? obviously a guy who prefers porn (and probably masturbation) to his wife indicates there more than just porn wrong in the marriage.
walk out? that's not the first step. how about marriage counseling to see what the real issues are? obviously a guy who prefers porn (and probably masturbation) to his wife indicates there more than just porn wrong in the marriage.
Communication is usually a big problem for troubled marriages.
I agree with you, they should go to a marriage councilor who is pro to marriage first, but the husband has to be willing to do it!
Ladybird has been frustrated about their sex life for a long time.
If you ask me, the problems in this marriage have nothing to do with sex or porn.
The two of you need to work on the relationship, communication, and honesty.
Don't try to make this about the sex or porn. Those are just excuses that will make both of you bitter and hateful towards each other.
So true. These are just effects of a deeper cause. Talk, and dig deep, then talk some more. If one refuses to talk about it... That's the end of it! But give it some time. A year of effort is worth a lifetime of happiness.
I hate this for you. I also agree with others that it's not about the porn. I think it's about the secrecy and the lack or respect for your feelings about the subject. He has lied to you and said he wouldn't do it again. You have also been very clear about the consequences if he views porn again. Obviously, porn has a huge hold on him that even makes him risk losing you. I don't understand it at all but agree with you in leaving. I can't stay in a relationship if I don't trust the person I am married to.
I'm surprised at the amt of people who are putting this off on lady bird.
Your husband has a problem, it's not your fault. Maybe it's porn addiction or maybe he has other issues, but whatever it is, don't feel as if it's your fault. The posters putting it off on you probably don't understand addiction.
Also if he crossed a line that you can not forgive right now then by all means move out. Perhaps if he has to face what he is likely to lose then he will take seriously and get some help.
Definitely not Ladybird's fault that hubby chooses to watch porn! But there are obviously things that are bothering him as well. But can't find out what the root of the problem is if you don't talk / only fight about the porn. =-/ It's hard.
So upset! 
