How much sex would be enough? - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

View Poll Results: If average is 2-3 times a week, what is actually needed for you to be satisfied?
Less than average 8 8.08%
Average 52 52.53%
More than average 39 39.39%
Voters: 99. You may not vote on this poll

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post #31 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-06-2016, 02:26 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
By complete coincidence, my wife made this comment to me just after going at it.

MRS BADSANTA: You know I have the solution to solve ALL the sexual problems there are in every marriage and I can sum it up in one sentence.

BADSANTA: What would that be?

MRS BADSANTA: To make your husband think he can NOT have sex with you while at the same time you are having sex with him. All men want what they "think" they can not have.

BADSANTA: Some people would probably have a few questions as to "how" you accomplish that.

MRS BADSANTA: Yes... now that would be a fun instructional video to watch! (We are watching Masters of Sex, so that is probably where that comment came from as she complains all the sex scenes in that show are just boring)

Cheers,
Badsanta
Pretty funny and might even be true sometimes.

I prefer my wife to be a brazen penis hound around me, but to each their own!
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post #32 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 05:38 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by Okguy View Post
I am laughing because someone said it decreased to five times a week.
Yeah, cos it is hilarious when someone has health issues that impact their sex life. Cheers for that.
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post #33 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:23 PM
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post #34 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:37 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

Not married yet...but engaged. We have sex just about every day. I wonder if this will change after we marry. (I voted ''average'' for me to be satisfied, but for my fiance...above average if the average really is 2 to 3x per week)
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post #35 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
I am laughing because your poll is showing how many times a week rather than how many times a day. When I was younger, twice a day, every day, was enough. When I hit my 40's I was down 4-5 times a week and that was mostly in threesomes with our girlfriend. In my sixties I am down to 2-3 a week but would have sex every day if my wife was willing. I cannot complain though. None of my old friends even have sex now. Their wives are just not interested. For them, it would be maybe a few times a year on special occasions, and that is sex with someone who is not into it, but doing it out of love.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okguy View Post
I am laughing because someone said it decreased to five times a week.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland View Post
Yeah, cos it is hilarious when someone has health issues that impact their sex life. Cheers for that.
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Originally Posted by Okguy View Post
Did I miss something?
I don't know, if @Vinnydee claims he would want to go everyday in his 60s, I'd say the he is dealing with health issues that might land him a role as the "energizer bunny" or something like that!

@Okguy I'll drink to that! Cheers! Hey, I'm younger than Vinny and would NOT be able to keep up with him! I'm laughing, not sure at what though! I think I am making fun of myself, perhaps you were too!

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post #36 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:52 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by Okguy View Post
Did I miss something?
Yes, this
Quote:
However the last 2 weeks are down to about 5 x per week as I am having some health issues.
Now if there is another posted that is also down to 5 x per week it would be helpful if you could say who it is you are actually laughing at.
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post #37 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:56 PM
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Health issues can't be serious if someone is having sex five times a week.
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post #38 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 08:59 PM Thread Starter
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by *Deidre* View Post
Not married yet...but engaged. We have sex just about every day. I wonder if this will change after we marry. (I voted ''average'' for me to be satisfied, but for my fiance...above average if the average really is 2 to 3x per week)
As time passes everything changes. Well... actually everything stays exactly the same but you start finding out way more about the person you are spending your life with. Odds are you will find out stuff like:

He obsessively watches porn.
He still hangs onto his childhood blanket.
He values his mom's opinion more than yours.
He complains about you to his mom.
His mom buys his cloths.
He smokes pot.
His mom grows his pot.
His mom will not share said pot with you because she is so freaking upset about how you took away her son's blanket and ridiculed him for still having it, and you thought it was so gross how he masturbated with it and never washed it, this was only because YOU should have been kind enough to wash it for him!!! However she will never tell you this to your face.

...other than that all the sex stuff stays the same or gets better/worse depending on how you handle the stuff above!

Cheers,
Badsanta
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post #39 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 09:03 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by badsanta View Post
As time passes everything changes. Well... actually everything stays exactly the same but you start finding out way more about the person you are spending your life with. Odds are you will find out stuff like:

He obsessively watches porn.
He still hangs onto his childhood blanket.
He values his mom's opinion more than yours.
He complains about you to his mom.
His mom buys his cloths.
He smokes pot.
His mom grows his pot.
His mom will not share said pot with you because she is so freaking upset about how you took away her son's blanket and ridiculed him for still having it, and you thought it was so gross how he masturbated with it and never washed it, this was only because YOU should have been kind enough to wash it for him!!! However she will never tell you this to your face.

...other than that all the sex stuff stays the same or gets better/worse depending on how you handle the stuff above!

Cheers,
Badsanta
Time to call off this engagement!!
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post #40 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 09:21 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

my experience has been very dependent on what stage of life we have been in
dating, early marriage-most days
1 kid-3x a week
2 kids 2-3x a week
3 kids 1-2x times a week
after i hit 40-1x a week
after i hit 50 1x a week(starfish)
then a dry spell of 1x a month
after I went on wellbutrin (and suspected he was having an ea/pa) 7x a week(hysterical bonding)
after hysterical bonding-4-5x a week

all of these amounts were satisfying to me- I suspect only the hysterical bonding amount was completely satisfying to H.
I really had no idea he was such a HD person as he always let me set the frequency and never really complained too much
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post #41 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 09:52 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

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Originally Posted by Okguy View Post
Health issues can't be serious if someone is having sex five times a week.
I never said the issues were life threatening. They are enough to make me exhausted which is not the norm, add to that invasive tests and stress and yeah it is enough to change the normal weekly routine. I love my partner though and covert our bond so even though I am not at optimal health I refuse to let the sex life suffer.

Still not seeing any humour in others misfortune or decrease in frequency despite the reason. Maybe bc I have BTDT and have empathy for others.
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post #42 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 11:07 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

@Holland -- he's laughing not because of your illness or because your sex life has suffered, but because at 5x a week, you're still getting the booty way more often than most of the other people on this thread! I don't think he really meant any harm by it--the juxtaposition is a little amusing.

People who aren't quite as HD as you will have a hard time understanding what you're upset about.

(I totally get it. When I get remarried, I'm writing it into the pre-nup or my vows that daily sex is a requirement, except in the case of legitimate illness. No 2-3x a week for me, nope!)

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #43 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 11:18 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

OK FIP, might just be too touchy a subject for me and I can't see the humour. All good though, I guess there is some irony there but honestly it is such an important subject for me and I am probably clouded by past stuff.

FWIW we have a verbal agreement here that if things start to wain for reasons other than illness etc that we will discuss what is going on.
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post #44 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-07-2016, 11:36 PM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holland View Post
OK FIP, might just be too touchy a subject for me and I can't see the humour. All good though, I guess there is some irony there but honestly it is such an important subject for me and I am probably clouded by past stuff.

FWIW we have a verbal agreement here that if things start to wain for reasons other than illness etc that we will discuss what is going on.
I would be touchy about it if it were me, too! Plus, you've got the stress from the health issues... not to mention other sh!t going on. I hope everything works out

~Happily un-married since December 9, 2013~
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post #45 of 94 (permalink) Old 02-08-2016, 12:47 AM
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Re: How much sex would be enough?

My SO's health issues have cause my sex life to be non-existant forever! Close to forever anyways... I was a 15 year old virgin when we got together (stayed one for a couple years after). He has never been able to get hard even with medication. Priaprism at a very young age due to his sickle cell added to his inheritently low blood count made it so. We made it work in the early years... had 2 kids despite never getting more than the tip. It never bothered me, I didnt know any better (still dont in case anyone is wondering).

But for the last 3 years or so he gets extreme pain, to the point he gets physically sick, anytime his heart rate rises... obviously this includes anything of a sexual nature. We attempted for a while.. 5 mins of touching, 20 mins of him on the floor, back for another 5 mins. I got nothing out of it, he got pain. He tried for me, I tried for him, but after a while it just wasnt worth it anymore. Knowing logically what the outcome was going to be did not change the increasingly devastating effect it had on me (him too, but I can only speak for my point of view). Logically, I knew what was going to happen every time. But I still got caught up in it. Id think about it for hours, get 5 mins into foreplay.. done and over.

Emotions are a strange thing. Logically, I KNOW it is a health issue. But eventually it killed my self esteem. My partner running off to puke after 2 mins of touching me... I would cry in bed and then put on a smiley face when he came back.

We stopped trying now. Its been 8 months or longer. We dont kiss, touch, anything. Might be my age, Im 33 now, but I think about sex more than most teenage boys do. I dream of being woken up with it, coming home for a lunch time "snack", and sneaking off for a bathroom quicky. I dream of being thrown over a couch, being grabbed while Im walking by, playingful (and discrete) touching under the blanket during family movie night. More specifically, I want to know what its like to be wanted by someone.

If I got to choose, I would say 1-2 times a day. Granted that may be my despetation talking. Its easy to want a lot when youve never had any.


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Last edited by NotEZ; 02-08-2016 at 12:53 AM.
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