Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
It's that time of month so I offered my husband a bj and he refused it. Feel pretty rejected! Recently because I noticed him viewing porn I had a oprah "aha moment" in my life and decided life was to short not to have a great sex life with my husband. So I proceeded to start iniating sex quite frequently and at first he seemed into it maybe cause he felt guilty he was caught but lately I feel he has been backing off. In his defense we were doing it frequently but what guy turns down sex?something sparked in me that I feel I want sex frequently. I feel he was thrilled when I got my period and when I offered a bj he ignored me. Really insulted, took a lot for me to come out and offer. Never did this before. Wow didn't think any guy would refuse a bj, am I wrong??? Posted via Mobile Device
Nope. But if you are willing to blow him, you should be equally willing to tell him exactly what you told us. Communication is everything!
not as easy to do when you feel hurt! I feel like screw him to reject me! But in his defense I have been desiring sex every day. Not normal for me but loving how I am feeling. But don't quite feel the same enthusiam. Which shocks me since I discovered him viewing porn Posted via Mobile Device
Alright.... I just mean blowing him is (to me) a very intimate act. So is TALKING about sex. In the long run.... wouldn't it be better to KNOW? Otherwise it's all guess work, and here you are wondering what's up with him? Why not just say.... "Hey, I was feeling rejected when you turned me down, I didn't know guys would EVER turn down a bj." And go from there. I'd explain all you explained to us, that you've been purposely firing up the sex life...and find that you are enjoying it..... Really, this should open up a good conversation...and a healthy one.
Alright.... I just mean blowing him is (to me) a very intimate act. So is TALKING about sex. In the long run.... wouldn't it be better to KNOW? Otherwise it's all guess work, and here you are wondering what's up with him? Why not just say.... "Hey, I was feeling rejected when you turned me down, I didn't know guys would EVER turn down a bj." And go from there. I'd explain all you explained to us, that you've been purposely firing up the sex life...and find that you are enjoying it..... Really, this should open up a good conversation...and a healthy one.
I have already recently spoke to him intimately about loving the fact that we have started to spice things up and that I am really into doing it frequently what do I have to do hit him over the head? Posted via Mobile Device
I have already recently spoke to him intimately about loving the fact that we have started to spice things up and that I am really into doing it frequently what do I have to do hit him over the head? Posted via Mobile Device
when I have been approaching him he jokingly says ooh no not again. I need to sleep.always in a joking way but he really means it. Posted via Mobile Device
Maybe. Soooooooooooo..... just ask in a friendly way "So what's up with not wanting a bj?" Ya know? If you want to know where his head is at about this.... then it's on you to ask him. Otherwise, let it go and wait and see how things play out.
Some guys ask for more sex than they know what to do with. If you have recently started offering it, your H might be realizing that he doesnt want as much as he was originally asking for. Hope thats clear enough.
Other possiblities would be that he just finished masturbating secretly, and has no need for a bj.
We could take a walk down a dark road and consider the possibility of porn addiction. That would do it.
You make mention that he was thrilled you were on the rag. This would indicate a lack of sexual interest in you. Could be for any of the reasons mentioned above.
Can you provide more background info on your sex life (I feel like such a creep)... oh ****, I cant stop laughing now. I feel like a pervert for asking.
Pleae provide pertenent information regarding all issues about which you seek answers.
Some guys ask for more sex than they know what to do with. If you have recently started offering it, your H might be realizing that he d
oesnt want as much as he was originally asking for. Hope thats clear enough.
Other possiblities would be that he just finished masturbating secretly, and has no need for a bj.
We could take a walk down a dark road and consider the possibility of porn addiction. That would do it.
You make mention that he was thrilled you were on the rag. This would indicate a lack of sexual interest in you. Could be for any of the reasons mentioned above.
Can you provide more background info on your sex life (I feel like such a creep)... oh ****, I cant stop laughing now. I feel like a pervert for asking.
Pleae provide pertenent information regarding all issues about which you seek answers.
sunny, right now I am to aupset to approach him in a friendly manner. He is sleeping on couch in den watching footballAn was in bed going to sleep and couldn't sleep so went in other room to watch end of gameAm should I be paranoid and think he is avoiding me? I am pmsing right now sooo I don't really know. Posted via Mobile Device
Awwww.... if it were me, and I was PMSing.... I'd leave it alone for a few days!!!
And I just want to add.... I was rejected.... over and over and over.... for 23 years. I KNOW it sucks. My ex talked all macho but it was once a week vanilla sex..... I got turned down so many times that I quit trying. In the end.... he said he was neglected. Geez, so many names come to mind.
My new h and I talk about EVERYTHING. We have tons of sex... loud, messy, daily at least, and every which way.... and we talk about it. In depth.... if we can get this messy together, we can talk. Never thought I'd be this age, having this much FUN! ;p
Anyway... I get where you are coming from. Rejection sucks. I was just trying to think practical.... which didn't work for me either.
Awwww.... if it were me, and I was PMSing.... I'd leave it alone for a few days!!!
And I just want to add.... I was rejected.... over and over and over.... for 23 years. I KNOW it sucks. My ex talked all macho but it was once a week vanilla sex..... I got turned down so many times that I quit trying. In the end.... he said he was neglected. Geez, so many names come to mind.
My new h and I talk about EVERYTHING. We have tons of sex... loud, messy, daily at least, and every which way.... and we talk about it. In depth.... if we can get this messy together, we can talk. Never thought I'd be this age, having this much FUN! ;p
Anyway... I get where you are coming from. Rejection sucks. I was just trying to think practical.... which didn't work for me either.
SunnyT, I let it go last night but was resentful this morning and happened to be watching the news with bill clinton being interviewed and sarcastically said now there is a men who wouldn't turn a bj down. And he said to me as if he had no clue why I was pissed oooh that's why you are annoyed, " I just don't want to be selfish" since it is that time of month he can't reciprocate. And maybe this is true? Posted via Mobile Device
Sorry, I would feel hurt too. I understand where you are coming from.
Sexual rejection of any kind IS the worse rejection, as intimacy is the most vulnerable act God has given us.
If It was ME, I would NEED to talk to him and get REAL personal about his materbating habits, I would want to know how important that was for him, if he found that more enjoyable than ME. And if so, I would likely be really pi**ed off AND HURT but da gone it , I would want to know if this was the root cause he was turning down my gift of pleasure.
Me & mine do not masterbate at all, we only use each other, and we watch porn together sometimes. As the higher driven spouse, I would be LIVID if he wasted his releases on something else, and left me hanging. I don't think it is healthy for spouses to do that. Now if you wasn't wanting it, then he could wack it all day but since you are, no excuses, be with the wife!
Then some men have a hard time if their wives do ALOT of initiating (they might like it once in a while, but feel it is their place to seduce & arouse), they feel pressured somehow, maybe your husband is this type of man - possible?
wow offered husband a BJ and he refused 
Maybe. Soooooooooooo..... just ask in a friendly way "So what's up with not wanting a bj?" Ya know? If you want to know where his head is at about this.... then it's on you to ask him. Otherwise, let it go and wait and see how things play out.
