You think your sex drive is high now, wait a few years, you may be climbing the walls. There was a time for me where I couldn't even sleep just dreaming about it all night long -so I could jump him in the am. It's a dangerous dangerous place to be if he isn't on board with you
and makes this a REAL priority in the marraige.
Is he outright rejecting
you or are you just being patient and waiting for him to come to you...and this is what is maddening - you miss HIS desire on his own?
A book like this may help .... Amazon.com: All Night Long: How to Make Love to a Man Over 50 (9781590770276): Barbara Keesling: Books
Is he low energy, falling asleep after work, depressed, trouble with erections? These are signs of Low Testosterone. Thread here : Dealing with Low Testosterone - Hypogonadism
3-4 times a month is very low -even for his age. What meds is he on -can viagra be used? This does not affect desire but if he is feeling pressure to perform, these little blue pills can save the night.
You said you have only talked about this a FEW TIMES. If he is saying he doesn't see a problem, I think you need to get in his face a little more. Seriously, IT IS and will continue to be a PROBLEM, it will grow like a cancer. You will come to RESENT him, a huge division will fall upon you both.
Are you sure he is not masterbating at all? Being the lower drive spouse, this would be a real shame -while you are waiting patiently for him.
My husband couldn't keep up with me for a time, but his motto was ..."So long as he could get it up, he wanted to use it ". With his cheerful attitude , my stepped up seductress behavior- all new to him (new novelty), some split viagra on those slower nights and his desire for the "emotional connection", we weathered this pretty nicely.
Between your husbands willingness to HEAR you, understanding your cravings here, care enough to take action... get tested...take care of his health, focus on pleasure & pleasing, and your gaining some new sexual skills to rock his socks off, think about taking advantage of those early AM hours to arouse him also -men's TEST is higher then = you are more likely to get some! -- you might see some light entering the tunnel.
Give it a go, if he rebuffs, as Catherine said, might be better to cut ties, before you go start raving mad & resentment destroys you & the temptation to fall into the arms of another.