I don't think that it's right to make a blanket assumption about what is going on with a woman who doesn't initiate. There's a whole *interaction* going on between the husband and wife here. You know - two people involved.
So, crossbar - think of it like this. See if you can wrap your head around this - because if you can you may start to gain a better understanding of where your wife may be at and look at it from a different perspective for a bit.
For a man, sex can encompass a spectrum of needs - the lowest level is a primal physical need - the need to 'get off' or for relief.
There's another level above that where it then becomes a more emotional need - it's not just to 'get off' but a way to please your partner and feel confident and desired as a man.
There's another level above that where it becomes a relational need - intimacy, trust, and bonding happen with your partner.
There's yet another level where it can become more than any of those things altogether at a spiritual level.
So. Where on this spectrum do you think your wife lies in her understanding of what sex means to you?
Yah - she seems to be on the first level - she understands your PHYSICAL need for sex, but does not yet understand how that relates to your other needs - the emotional/relational/spiritual needs.
In one way, you ARE lucky. There are many men on the forum whose wives stepped onto that first level and have stepped back off. Your wife has stepped on and has stayed on.
She is RIPE for you to create the kind of caring, trusting, loving environment needed for her to be able to move to the next level, but she will need HELP from YOU. She will NOT be able to do it all on her own. Believe me, a wife needs help and guidance and reassurance from her husband to get to that next level. It does not just always 'come naturally'.
Are you up for the task?