A horrible practical joke! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 12:06 PM Thread Starter
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A horrible practical joke!

I told my LD wife last night that I was going to give up masturbating and wanted her to satisfy all of my needs.

Picture in your mind the sound of silence and my wife standing there with a look of horror on her face. I told her I was just kidding.

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #2 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 12:12 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

then after you said your kidding, you should have turned around and told her that you are sparing her need to get involved with you sexually because your looking for a surrogate partner to help you out. Now that is a thoughtful husband.
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post #3 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 12:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

That would be thoughtful!

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #4 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 12:30 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.

Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.

My wife is enjoying having sex focus on just her for a change. I used to be the focus of all of our sex and she shared me with her best friend so I had more sex than she did. Now it is time to pay the piper and i am fine with that. I enjoy the sexual arousal that comes with anticipating an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. Last night she allowed me to orgasm aftre 5 weeks of chastity. It was good but now I have lost the sexual energy and constant feeling of sexual arousal that I had before my orgasm. As usual I regret having the orgasm. 10 seconds of pleasure is not worth giving up how I felt when I was denied and then edged over and over again by my wife. We will start again after my wife's surgery next week. I rarely stay unlocked for long. Hard to explain but I feel like I used to when I was dating and waiting all week to find out if I was going to get some from whoever I was dating at the time. The nervousness and uncertainty.

For us, chastity play was a way to deal with our differing libidos. I had to stop masturbating because it was eating up too much of my time and making regular sex feel boring. My wife is not a porn start who has piercings and can put her high healed feet behind her head and then flip over into various positions for the next hour or so. With porn, you end up needing more and more extreme stuff to get the same benefit. Now just looking at my wife's cleavage arouses me. Only getting my orgasms from my wife is one of the most exciting thigns I have experiences. You do not need an chastity device to do this either. You can go on the honor system. That is how we initially tried it and what I do when I get the occasional skin problems. I have learned to not masturbate whether locked up or not.

Many prefer to drown in a pool of their own morality rather than seek the safety of a different morality. Most accept whatever morality they are born into, much like religion and then somehow feel that theirs is the true path and are superior to others with different beliefs.
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post #5 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 12:40 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinnydee View Post
Interesting. I did that 35 years ago and my wife asked her girlfriend to have sex with me and then eventually moved her in so that I had two women to share the load, so to speak. Funny how wives have different reactions.

Four years ago we moved away from the woman who my wife shared me with so we were a couple again and had the same problem of my libido being much greater than that of my wife. Her solution this time was to ask me to buy one of those new chastity devices found in online drug stores and sex shops, designed to prevent masturbation. I did and have been wearing one 24/7 for the last 4 years. My wife is OK with porn but still has old time thinking that masturbation is wrong. She said that I owed her a few thousand orgasms since she gave me full access to her girlfriend at any time with or without my wife taking part. I agree. Not many men get to have threesomes as their regular marital sex for 30 years. I have had more threesomes than porn stars. So I agreed that sex would now be for my wife's orgasms only until she feels that I can have one. So it has been that way. I have waited as long as 3 months for an orgasm while my wife enjoys several each week. We still have sex the same way but the only difference is that we skip the 10 seconds of my orgasm. She is an expert at bringing me to the edge and then stopping, over and over again.

My wife is enjoying having sex focus on just her for a change. I used to be the focus of all of our sex and she shared me with her best friend so I had more sex than she did. Now it is time to pay the piper and i am fine with that. I enjoy the sexual arousal that comes with anticipating an orgasm more than the orgasm itself. Last night she allowed me to orgasm aftre 5 weeks of chastity. It was good but now I have lost the sexual energy and constant feeling of sexual arousal that I had before my orgasm. As usual I regret having the orgasm. 10 seconds of pleasure is not worth giving up how I felt when I was denied and then edged over and over again by my wife. We will start again after my wife's surgery next week. I rarely stay unlocked for long. Hard to explain but I feel like I used to when I was dating and waiting all week to find out if I was going to get some from whoever I was dating at the time. The nervousness and uncertainty.

For us, chastity play was a way to deal with our differing libidos. I had to stop masturbating because it was eating up too much of my time and making regular sex feel boring. My wife is not a porn start who has piercings and can put her high healed feet behind her head and then flip over into various positions for the next hour or so. With porn, you end up needing more and more extreme stuff to get the same benefit. Now just looking at my wife's cleavage arouses me. Only getting my orgasms from my wife is one of the most exciting thigns I have experiences. You do not need an chastity device to do this either. You can go on the honor system. That is how we initially tried it and what I do when I get the occasional skin problems. I have learned to not masturbate whether locked up or not.

Your claim to fame appears to be threesomes.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #6 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 01:07 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

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Originally Posted by Yeswecan View Post
Your claim to fame appears to be threesomes.
and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....

NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....

Carry on...

The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom. - Anais Nin
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Blossom's Road of Recovery and Reconciliation
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post #7 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 01:13 PM
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Originally Posted by TX-SC View Post
I told my LD wife last night that I was going to give up masturbating and wanted her to satisfy all of my needs.

Picture in your mind the sound of silence and my wife standing there with a look of horror on her face. I told her I was just kidding.

I love that look. It's like "oh sh!t, I'm caught off guard and can't even come up with a good lie. Damnit, I'm losing my touch."

Hysterical!!
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post #8 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 01:21 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

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Originally Posted by Blossom Leigh View Post
and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....

NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....

Carry on...
Jury is still out with me on whether this guy is for real....

“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” - Maya Angelou
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post #9 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 01:29 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

OMG I saw a stand up comedian describing his wife coming to him after the neighbor caught her husband looking at porn and saying, "you don't look at porn and masturbate do you? You do know that if you ever felt the need that I would always take care of that for you don't you?"

He said the thoughts that went through his mind were to struggle to keep a straight face and think, "she does not know what she is signing up for, and she will never understand all my years of hard work trying to protect her!"



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post #10 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 03:48 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

While my wife and I struggled with our sex life (meh, still struggling) we planned to have sex one morning. That morning she decided against it so I went in to shower and took care of myself. She then showered, came out and invited me to bed. I explained to her that I was all set since she told me sex was off so I masturbated in the shower.

She was flabbergasted. It never occurred to her that I masturbated. She said that she wanted me to save all my orgasms for her. I explained to her that I had been masturbating since I was 10 and unless she was ready to meet my sexual needs (3-4 times a week while we were struggling to get it done once per week) then I'd continue masturbating.

TX-SC is right... I think most women don't realize the fact that masturbation is probably the bulk of a guy's "sex life" and would be shocked to learn that.
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post #11 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 04:13 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

There are seriously women that don't know their husbands "spank the monkey" often??? How is this possible?? They don't even think they do it at ALL?

Huh????

Maybe it's just because I know my H is incredibly high drive, but I know he does it at least 4-5X per week, if not daily, in addition to the fact that we have sex almost every day as well.

The only thing I ask is that he doesn't leave his c** rag laying around.

I'll get through this, one day at a time.
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post #12 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 04:29 PM Thread Starter
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

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There are seriously women that don't know their husbands "spank the monkey" often??? How is this possible?? They don't even think they do it at ALL?

Huh????

Maybe it's just because I know my H is incredibly high drive, but I know he does it at least 4-5X per week, if not daily, in addition to the fact that we have sex almost every day as well.

The only thing I ask is that he doesn't leave his c** rag laying around.
Watch out for those extra socks lying around.

"You are talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind!" Victor Von Frankenstein
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post #13 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 04:32 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

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Watch out for those extra socks lying around.
Usually washcloths or sometimes papertowels......LOL. Every time, I'm like "Come on man!"

I'll get through this, one day at a time.
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post #14 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 04:33 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blossom Leigh View Post
and toying with the body chemicals that keep someone in a Stockholm Syndrome type addictive state....

NO thank you, not for me, that is a dangerous game... This is the first time reading your post, which most of them I skip, where I now realize you are strategically feeding an addiction. That "high" that you get before orgasm that you are now choosing to elongate to stay on the "high" is actually an addiction to those chemicals. Just so you are aware of what you are doing....

Carry on...
I don't know about the chemicals portion but every post from this member starts with, "My threesome's..." It is getting tiresome.

“You're painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture.”
― Richard Yates, Revolutionary Road
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post #15 of 25 (permalink) Old 03-23-2016, 06:23 PM
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Re: A horrible practical joke!

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Originally Posted by BetrayedDad View Post
Jury is still out with me on whether this guy is for real....
well in one thread he talks about having separate bedrooms for the last 30 years due to his snoring. In another thread he talks about sleeping naked every night with his wife and their GF for the last 30 years.
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