Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 10-03-2011, 08:09 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Hi
I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice.Me and my husband first met as children and grew up togher but then lost contact when i was around the age of 12 then when i turned 15 we got back in contact again and started to date each other,When i was 16 i feel pregnant with our oldest son and we got married when i was 17 and we had our 2nd son when i was 18.I am now 19 and we have been married 2 years and been togher 4 years.
When we first got togher everything was great we use to be having sex at least every day and he found me really attractive but just about the last year or so he doesnt really seem to find me attractive,yes we still have sex but it seems like im the only one that realy wants too anymore he's just more intrested in sleeping.It is really bothering me i have been really depressed i would just really like some advice i dont think i can go on anymore like it,Ive tried everything i can think of but nothing seems to be working.
PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:20 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

The two of you are so young and married when so many changes occur.

Add in children too? Pretty difficult for anyone.

You two could use a bit of reconnecting. And a candid talk about the state of your mutual affection.

If he cares for you and you care for him, you can make it past this.
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Last edited by michzz; 10-03-2011 at 09:41 AM.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:23 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Thanks i really hope so,but hes just telling me all the time how attractive he finds other people and when i know he doesn't feel that way about me it just really gets to me
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

To me, the problem is that he is a young man who thinks that the grass is greener. He probably has a bunch of buddies who go out, drink and womanize and tell him stories of getting laid with this girl and that girl, etc
To me it sounds if he is laying blame on the issues of attractiveness because he wants out and wants to live the life of his friends.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

You need to let your husband know that it's inappropriate for him to comment on attractiveness of others while with you. Hold him accountable to this.

Next, does he admit that this is a problem in your relationship?

If so, is he willing to work on it?

Do you have any reason to suspect that there may be another person involved?

Best wishes.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:29 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

BTW- these are some red flags that MAY indicate that he is engaging in affairs or inappropriate behavior, you should start snooping to either rule it out or confirm this.
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:42 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Well ive already told him how im feeling but he just seems to brush it off and i don't believe he wants to leave me but he just seems more interested in everyone else except for me he's even told me that he finds my sister extremely attractive and that he has nearly kissed her before,I don't think he's cheating on me even though he does have opportunity i don't think he is.But he has told me that if i let him he would happily go with someone else. The thing is though its not like ive ever had this problem with anyone before.

Last edited by happyalot; 10-03-2011 at 09:27 AM.
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:07 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Anyone got any ideas how i can make him find me attractive again or do you think i should just try and get through it?Or is this going to be the end of us?
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Old 10-03-2011, 09:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Please help me.My husband doesnt really find me attractive any more.

Draw a line in the sand and mean it. It's not up to you to do cartwheels to keep his interest. That will not work, btw.

It is up to him to be honest with you about things.

It may mean you part or it means you can reconnect.

But a good start is honesty and honorable respect for your marriage vows.

I recommend marriage counseling.
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