Let me add a post on here and share something that I am very uncomfortable sharing. I do this because this one stirs a lot of emotions, but when we remove the emotions and look at it, there may be more to understand than most people have realized.
If you search on Google or Bing for a study conducted at Boise State University about women's sexuality, you can find a number of news stories citing a study that says that 60% of heterosexual women have some lesbian curiosity. Understand the wording there: This is 60% of HETEROSEXUAL women have some lesbian curiosity. If you can find a story that goes into the details of this study, you will find that it varies with age and varies in degree. The percentage is lowest with younger women, and highest with women over 40, and many women over 40 who have never had any bisexual curiosity before develop some curiosity after 40. So far as degree goes, some women fantasized about a make-out session with another woman, some fantasized about other sex acts, etc. Some pursued it to actually find a lesbian partner. Of those, some experienced it and decided they didn't like it. Some decided they did. The responses were very broad. One thing for sure is that the lesbian curiosity did NOT mean she had suddenly turned off to men and decided she wanted women from then on.
So why was I even looking at such a study? or why did I even search? Here is where the uncomfortable parts comes in, but here, I hide behind the anonymity and try to make a point of sharing as openly and honestly as possible. So here goes:
I found it because I couldnt' find such a study on men, but stumbled across it when looking. I was dealing with a desire that I didn't want to acknowlege. When I got over 40 myself, I found that there were times that I had a bicurious fantasy. What may seem strange to some is that I never really wanted to be with another man. I did not find another man attractive, and it was repulsive to think of kissing or touching another man or anything like that. The fantasy that I'm talking about was about giving another man oral sex. However; everything around that was repulsive to me.
I did find as I explored places where people shared their experiences honestly that I really wasn't that unusual in any of that. There are other men who have similar fantasies, and some have taken it much farther. Like the women in the Boise State University study, I found it seemed to be more prevalent as men got above the age of 40, but was not at all unusual in younger men, either. I found that other men over 40 also expressed that they never thought they would have any bisexual curiousity, but it developed within the last few years for them. Interestlingly, many of them were happily married and did not want to change that.
In curiosity, I actually watched some bi porn. As soon as it became anything anal, it repulsed me to the point that I couldn't watch anymore. I also found that, although interesting, oral sex would have to be reduced to nothing more than a mouth and a penis to not be completely repulsive to me. And when I thought about it I didn't really want to do that despite what happened in my mind sometimes. Some people had a much stronger curiousity than I did as I found on other message forums. Some were there just trying to hook up and explore that desire, and others were there just because it felt good to actually be able to admit it to somebody who would understand, but they didn't want to explore their curiosity.
Even if my curiousity was stronger, it would be pretty simple to decide whether or not I wanted to explore it, and the principle doesn't change from heterosexual situations. I've been really tempted by other women. I've never really been tempted by a man - just curious. I've never cheated on my wife with another woman because I love my wife, don't want to hurt her, and am not willing to jeopardize her - stepping out on her would jeopardize her health and her welfare. When it came to any curiousity, if it had become stronger, still, I love my wife, don't want to hurt her, and am not willing to jeopardize her - stepping out on her would jeopardize her health and her welfare. Pretty simple. I have a GREAT thing with my wife and the family we have together. Stepping out might provide a moment or two of pleasure (not sure it would in the case of a man), but whether it provided pleasure or not, it would ruin everything I have and jeopardize everything I love and everything that keeps me happy. Bottom line: I'm in love with my wife and with her is where I want to be.