Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI*** - Page 3
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-12-2011, 08:19 AM   #31 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 129
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Actually, speaking as a woman, it was strat who blew it here. Hour-long backrub? Who does that except a masseuse? Come in the room, turn off the lights, turn on some music, rub some oil on her back for about five minutes, start rubbing elsewhere, slowly turn her over to rub more somewhere 'else,' and when she's getting into it, proceed.

There shouldn't even be speaking going on.
yeah im too passive I know that and i have for years, i am trying to get better at this. what i am going to struggle with is not loosing the fact that I am a nice person and I don't want to become a jerk in the process!!
strat_guy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 10-12-2011, 10:16 AM   #32 (permalink)
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 26,458
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.

Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
turnera is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 10:31 AM   #33 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 129
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.

Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
I agree! I will try to finish NMMNG and then look up the NUTS book which I did take a quick look at before as it was suggested in my first post I beleive...
I am glad that you can see where Im coming from in wanting to take charge of my needs and myself but I don't want to end up being an overpowering idiot in the process so I need to keep that in check along the way... I am going to try and develop some kind of a plan to go by I think... but then again that may be just trying to overanalyze and control everything again....

I think I need a psycologist... was watching gene simmons and it appears to have helped him quite a bit in his life tough our lives are in no way similar, it has helped me see what the effects of having someone to talk to has...
strat_guy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 10:35 AM   #34 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 376
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
One a week (in a perfect world, lol).
(only) One a week . . . NOT a perfect world.

Phew - you're on a roll on this thread!
jayde is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 10:36 AM   #35 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 376
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by strat_guy View Post
I agree! I will try to finish NMMNG and then look up the NUTS book which I did take a quick look at before as it was suggested in my first post I beleive...
With all this reading to do . . . you won't have time for anything in the bedroom.

Problem solved!
jayde is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 10:41 AM   #36 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 129
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by jayde View Post
With all this reading to do . . . you won't have time for anything in the bedroom.

Problem solved!
Yeah really, I don't usally read that much at home and most of this reading im doing at work... which in a way isn't good since I can't concentrate for long periods on what I am reading but at least it's giving me a once over what I need to start doing and not doing...
strat_guy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 11:07 AM   #37 (permalink)
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 26,458
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by jayde View Post
(only) One a week . . . NOT a perfect world.

Phew - you're on a roll on this thread!
lol, jayde, I was talking about the invitations. That's why there are 52 of them - one for each week.

You can do whatever you want the rest of the week! ;0
turnera is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 11:27 AM   #38 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Connecticut, USA
Posts: 376
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
You can do whatever you want the rest of the week! ;0
Ahh . . .alrighty then : )
jayde is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 01:32 PM   #39 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 816
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.

Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
The difference between "demanding" and "taking what you want" (when it isn't being offered) is a bit too subtle for me...
__________________
Can you rokker Romani chib, pal?
Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri?
I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Sawney Beane is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 02:00 PM   #40 (permalink)
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 26,458
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!

Demanding what you want: I'm sick and tired of you turning me down. I expect to have sex with you tonight, or I'm gonna go find it somewhere else.
turnera is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 02:08 PM   #41 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 129
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!

Demanding what you want: I'm sick and tired of you turning me down. I expect to have sex with you tonight, or I'm gonna go find it somewhere else.
Good description of the two... thanks for the definition...

Last edited by strat_guy; 10-12-2011 at 02:08 PM. Reason: typo
strat_guy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 02:10 PM   #42 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 816
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!
"What did you do that for? I made other plans."
"Great! I can catch up on my reading!"
"That's nice dear"<goes back to doing whatever>
"Great, but don't expect sex - I just can't be bothered".
"I just invited my mother over"

The only thing that's getting taken is the p*ss. If it ain't on offer, you can't take it!

If she wants to, it'll happen without all the smoke and mirrors, if she doesn't, they won't make her want to.
__________________
Can you rokker Romani chib, pal?
Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri?
I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Sawney Beane is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 03:51 PM   #43 (permalink)
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 26,458
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sawney Beane View Post
"What did you do that for? I made other plans."
Fine. I'm going without you. Maybe I'll meet someone there who wants to be with me.

Quote:
"Great! I can catch up on my reading!"
You can try, but I intend for us to be too busy. And the book just may end up falling out the window.

Quote:
"That's nice dear"<goes back to doing whatever>
Not going? Ok, have fun pulling the weeds. I'm off to have fun.

Quote:
"Great, but don't expect sex - I just can't be bothered".
Sorry to hear that. You'll be getting the divorce papers after I get back then. (won't THAT be a fun weekend for her?)

Quote:
"I just invited my mother over"
That's ok. I have her number. I'm calling her right now to tell her I'm taking her daughter on a weekend getaway.

Quote:
The only thing that's getting taken is the p*ss. If it ain't on offer, you can't take it!

If she wants to, it'll happen without all the smoke and mirrors, if she doesn't, they won't make her want to.
I don't follow.
turnera is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 04:05 PM   #44 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 816
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
.


I don't follow.
If your wife wants to have sex with you, she'll have sex with you. If she doesn't want to, then taking her to some hotel won't make her. If it isn't being offered, you can't "take" it.
__________________
Can you rokker Romani chib, pal?
Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri?
I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Sawney Beane is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 10-12-2011, 05:08 PM   #45 (permalink)
Member
 
turnera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 26,458
Default Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI***

That's why you have to stop being a doormat and become someone who takes what he wants. Women want to be swept off their feet, have their breathe taken away, be surprised. If your wife stopped giving it, it's because of YOU.
turnera is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
need a man's perspective on a marriage going sour anonymous999 The Men's Clubhouse 24 01-28-2011 04:34 AM
Why turn a sweet situation sour? RatherSharp The Ladies' Lounge 36 05-25-2010 10:56 AM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:19 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.