Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Actually, speaking as a woman, it was strat who blew it here. Hour-long backrub? Who does that except a masseuse? Come in the room, turn off the lights, turn on some music, rub some oil on her back for about five minutes, start rubbing elsewhere, slowly turn her over to rub more somewhere 'else,' and when she's getting into it, proceed.
There shouldn't even be speaking going on.
yeah im too passive I know that and i have for years, i am trying to get better at this. what i am going to struggle with is not loosing the fact that I am a nice person and I don't want to become a jerk in the process!!
Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.
Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.
Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
I agree! I will try to finish NMMNG and then look up the NUTS book which I did take a quick look at before as it was suggested in my first post I beleive...
I am glad that you can see where Im coming from in wanting to take charge of my needs and myself but I don't want to end up being an overpowering idiot in the process so I need to keep that in check along the way... I am going to try and develop some kind of a plan to go by I think... but then again that may be just trying to overanalyze and control everything again....
I think I need a psycologist... was watching gene simmons and it appears to have helped him quite a bit in his life tough our lives are in no way similar, it has helped me see what the effects of having someone to talk to has...
I agree! I will try to finish NMMNG and then look up the NUTS book which I did take a quick look at before as it was suggested in my first post I beleive...
With all this reading to do . . . you won't have time for anything in the bedroom.
With all this reading to do . . . you won't have time for anything in the bedroom.
Problem solved!
Yeah really, I don't usally read that much at home and most of this reading im doing at work... which in a way isn't good since I can't concentrate for long periods on what I am reading but at least it's giving me a once over what I need to start doing and not doing...
Taking what you want doesn't make you a jerk. It makes you a man. DEMANDING what you want makes you a jerk.
Did you read the Hold On To Your N.U.T.S. book yet? I also recommend that you look at the website it comes from; maybe even sign up for one of their conferences. It's based exactly on men who have been too passive too long. It's bettermen.org.
The difference between "demanding" and "taking what you want" (when it isn't being offered) is a bit too subtle for me...
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!
Demanding what you want: I'm sick and tired of you turning me down. I expect to have sex with you tonight, or I'm gonna go find it somewhere else.
Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!
Demanding what you want: I'm sick and tired of you turning me down. I expect to have sex with you tonight, or I'm gonna go find it somewhere else.
Good description of the two... thanks for the definition...
Taking what you want: Wife, it's been a long time since we went on a weekend trip. I packed a bag and made reservations, and I'll pick you up at home at 5:30. Pick out a swimsuit and some massage oil to bring!
"What did you do that for? I made other plans."
"Great! I can catch up on my reading!"
"That's nice dear"<goes back to doing whatever>
"Great, but don't expect sex - I just can't be bothered".
"I just invited my mother over"
The only thing that's getting taken is the p*ss. If it ain't on offer, you can't take it!
If she wants to, it'll happen without all the smoke and mirrors, if she doesn't, they won't make her want to.
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
If your wife wants to have sex with you, she'll have sex with you. If she doesn't want to, then taking her to some hotel won't make her. If it isn't being offered, you can't "take" it.
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Can you rokker Romani chib, pal? Aye, aye, brother!
What's Weshenjuggalslomomengreskeytemskeytudlogueri? I don't know what you say, brother.
Then you don't jin Romani chib...
That's why you have to stop being a doormat and become someone who takes what he wants. Women want to be swept off their feet, have their breathe taken away, be surprised. If your wife stopped giving it, it's because of YOU.
Re: Gone sour... ***sorry if this is TMI*** 
