Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 10-12-2011, 10:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

After 4 years of a happy marriage my husband recently confessed that his ultimate desire is for me to have sex with another person. He wants this person to be a stranger that I hit on at the grocery store or meet randomly or online. I have always prided myself on being a good and faithful wife and am disgusted at this thought. It is all he wants. He has become obsessed with it and it is basically all we talk about. I have told him that I don't want this and suggested therapy but he just keeps obsessing on this fantasy.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Don't do it, but do ask him to go get therapy. his fantasy will kill your self respect and the marriage.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Draw a huge line in the sand. Tell him NO and if he cannot stop talking about it, show him the door.

He wants to twist your marriage into something else.

Likely has latent homosexual urges.
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Maybe I can put some light on this from his view. I think that my wife is so beautiful when we are making love that I have expressed my desire to see it from the "outside". Of course, she said "Absolutely NOT!", and I really don't want to see her have sex with another man, but it is kind of a fantasy of mine. However, I think that I prefer to keep it a fantasy.
Do you think that if maybe you guys filmed yourselves it would satisfy his urge?
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Old 10-12-2011, 10:57 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

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Originally Posted by gg27030 View Post
After 4 years of a happy marriage my husband recently confessed that his ultimate desire is for me to have sex with another person. He wants this person to be a stranger that I hit on at the grocery store or meet randomly or online. I have always prided myself on being a good and faithful wife and am disgusted at this thought. It is all he wants. He has become obsessed with it and it is basically all we talk about. I have told him that I don't want this and suggested therapy but he just keeps obsessing on this fantasy.
Don't do it. If he keeps on, you should move on to a husband who will not treat you like trash.
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:01 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Don't go against your morals or wants.

Did he say why??
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:03 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

He won't talk about it in person, won't say why other than he thinks it is hot. He only wants to send text messages about is. It's like he is a complete stranger to me. I am at my wit's end.
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:11 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

I wouldn't be ok with this and would probably lose my cool.

What he's asking you to do it not cool especially knowing you don't want to do it.

UNLESS he just wants the fantasy--- by sending texts, it seems as such.
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Old 10-12-2011, 11:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

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UNLESS he just wants the fantasy--- by sending texts, it seems as such.
Maybe that girl is on to something.

Text him back that you are doing it, see what he does.

If it was me, I would be leading the entire police department on a high speed chase to my home!
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Old 10-13-2011, 12:01 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

If he wants texts, then give him texts.

I'm scared.
I'm scared but excited.
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
Holy crap I'm doing this.
It's amazing, I came so hard.
I came again.
O.M.G.
Don't wait up.
I never knew it could be like this.
We need to talk.
Well there doesn't seem to be any point dragging this out, I just don't have any hope of experiencing this with you, so don't want to waste anymore of my life with you.
Please pack my things up in boxes or something. He wants me again lol. I'll stop by in a few days and get them.


Then see how he reacts.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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If he wants texts, then give him texts.

I'm scared.
I'm scared but excited.
I can't believe I'm going to do this.
Holy crap I'm doing this.
It's amazing, I came so hard.
I came again.
O.M.G.
Don't wait up.
I never knew it could be like this.
We need to talk.
Well there doesn't seem to be any point dragging this out, I just don't have any hope of experiencing this with you, so don't want to waste anymore of my life with you.
Please pack my things up in boxes or something. He wants me again lol. I'll stop by in a few days and get them.


Then see how he reacts.
I love it!
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:17 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Pretty funny Atholk

gg27030 - some guys find this a turn on, but I don't think that it matters. As long as it is something against your morals and outside your commitments to each other as a husband and wife, you simply shouldn't do it if you don't want to. It will change you and your relationship with your husband.

It's strange that he doesn't understand that there is a good chance that living out one fantasy he is obsessed with, will quite possibly ruin his marriage.

Explain to him "this was not what I married you for, my answer is no and will always be no...please stop asking as it makes me feel very uncomfortable". Perhaps you can offer to reenact a scene with him instead where he will be the stranger. See how he reacts and then you can decide what your next step should be.
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Old 10-13-2011, 01:21 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

First off, my vote is don't do it.

That said, I've thought about the idea with my wife. Not just watching, but me and another guy satisfying her. I will never ask her to do this and would never be able to live with myself if we took part in something like this, but it's still come into my head.

The comedic text exchange above would be hilarious, if I were you, I'd do it. Odds are, he'll loose the nerve.

Good luck!
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Old 10-13-2011, 08:52 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

Tell him absolutely not. Sometimes a fantasy should be just that.
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Old 10-13-2011, 09:07 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Husband wants me to sleep with a stranger. Please help!

I've tried unsuccessfully to get my wife involved in MMF or MFF threesomes - and I still believe she's bi-in-denial. But she has indulged my fantasies indirectly, in the past we were a bit exhibitionist, and it was hot seeing her pose on camera during our nude photo shoots (it's kinda embarrassing because I had to run to help myself fast since I was so darn turned on by her - and hell I wanted to do her right there and then in front of the cameraman!)

But since settling down she has instead just told me stories of her adventurous past with other guys during her youth before I met her. Which also turns me on like crazy. She dislikes this however, as she does wish to forget what she did, but for me she compromises.
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