Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My husband and I recently moved to our lovely new home and we spent a lot of time and energy painting, furnishing, decorating... we agreed from the beginning that most important part was the bedroom! We wanted an erotic / sensual yet soothing environment.
Just wondering how others cultivate the marriage with the bedroom decor!
We did the following:
-only furniture in the room is a bed - I'm completely serious. There are two small lamps attached to the headboard, and built in closets with drawers, but no bed-side tables, no chair, bench, dresser, etc. And no TV!
-heavy silk curtains in rich silver and purple. We went with metallic silver, black, and purple for colors because they are luxurious and erotic. Gray walls.
-white and silver bed linens- silver to tie in with the rest of the room, and white because we've always found white sheets very erotic!
-a very curvaceous black glass chandelier - after the curtains, the most expensive thing we bought for the house. LOVE this! It's so sexy!
-a huge erotic painting over the bed - not super sexy, but it's a beautiful painting of a nude woman sort of admiring herself.
-a large mirror on the wall facing the bed, and surrounding it, photos of the two of us (together or individually), some of them sweet, some of them sexy, that we've taken over the years together.
and that's it! Just walking into the room gets my pulse racing. Also - NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is allowed in there. When we give people "the tour" we leave the door closed and it's skipped. People always ask but we just say it's not part of the tour. I assume they figure it's messy. We would let people in while we were decorating it but not since we put up the photos of us.
I know I'm not the only one who tried to make the bedroom sexy - so how did you do it?
Oh I love that you put a conscious effort into making a sexy bedroom together and congrats on your new home!
We haven't considered the set up of our bedroom with sex in mind. Block-out blinds at the window to keep out the light for weekend sleep-ins and helps us feel completely private. We have a series of artwork we both love and an old-style French painting of a naked woman which I chose. It's a sensual and beautiful print, not sexy. There's a built-in draw in the bed frame that is reserved for sex toys/costumes. No TV. Always one or two candles at the ready.
Our room is a medium gray, with a midnight blue on the bed wall. Our furniture is all white, our comforter is white, our sheets are charcoal with white and charcoal pillows. I painted a sillouette of a cherry branch on the wall above our bed in medium gray Oh and our curtains are white.
We have a picture of us on the beach at our wedding on the wall across from our bed--- with some of our vows painted above it.
We have black and white photos in dark gray frames on the side walls, in lines, of us and our kids.
How could I forget? Therapeutic aromatherapy oils are feature in our bedroom. I put the oil burner on late afternoon/early evening and the aroma subtly drifts. I stopped using oils regularly for a while and H commented that he missed my blends. To him it represented me caring for us and our home. I have a small, awkward drawer in the dresser that suits the oil bottles perfectly. Just opening the draw releases wonderful smells. I use 3 oils in the burner about 6 drops total. I change the blends depending on mood. For example:
They're not overpowering, they just lend an aromatic atmosphere. Our bedroom is near the front door so they can be gently detected when entering our home.
Yea, TV in the bedroom is a big no-no here. We only sleep and have sex in the bedroom. Sometimes we get takeout really late at night and eat it in bed with the laptop and a movie, but that's only on some nights. And it's FUN!
I know couples that got rid of the TV in the bedroom and their sex life improved!
I realize it's a little old-fashioned, but we just can't get the hang of watching movies on a tiny laptop screen. That said, we have a 32" flat-panel in the bedroom, which I don't mind because I'm not much of a "decorator" to start with. Very stripped down.
Plus, we kinda enjoy watching "those" kinds of movies together on a big screen. Wish I were more of a Martha Stewart.
ha! The screen is fine when it's only 12 inches from your face! (It's pretty big).
Our living room TV is 52 inches and sometimes I wonder wtf we're doing with it LOL!
we do everything in our room. we have a tv, used to b a 27 inch, but have against our wishes have down graded to a 19 inch, not enough screen. i always joke that if one person is watching they are taking up all the screen.
we always have company in our room. we only have one person over ever, and hes been our friend/family for a decade +. we have our cable box, dvds, book, mangas, shelves, comic books, collectibles, we wanted a mini fridge, but didnt want to pay the extra cost to run it.
our room is us, we buy only the movies we want. our collectibles are unique to us. our shelves are just so us. i bought a 3/4 shelf from the re-sale store i think a church owned it, i glued stickers to it and other keep sakes.
we also have a xbox and a wii, our psp, ds, computer...although now most of our shelves and book and mirror and collectibles are in storage..we miss our things.
but our room is fun, and comfortable, and inviting. we spend all our time in there. and we think nothing of starting that movie or show in demand and someone starts cooking at 3, 4, 5, in the morning.
Yea, TV in the bedroom is a big no-no here. We only sleep and have sex in the bedroom. Sometimes we get takeout really late at night and eat it in bed with the laptop and a movie, but that's only on some nights. And it's FUN!
I know couples that got rid of the TV in the bedroom and their sex life improved!
i dont know how people can not have tv...we didnt have cable for about a year...i was cranky. dont even think for a moment i want to stay up with "everybody loves raymond" ..i hate that show, i dont want to have sex with the news or paid advertsing.
i was a hurt "B" until cable was in our house again. i was tired and annoyed, and pretty pised off. dont ask me for a BJ on the weekend..oh hell no...sports or some csi...
i love having sexual relations when "how its made" is on, that show is sooo pervy, we always catch just the wrong thing and get the giggles.
We didn't want a TV in our room ever because we are also into the "sex, sleep, and that's it" philosophy for the bedroom, but the first 2 places we lived had TVs in the bedroom (we rented them furnished, and the TVs couldn't be hooked up to the cable anywhere else, so they stayed). Since moving, we bought our own TV (42" and it's definitely big enough - sometimes I also think it's a little TOO big!) and put it in the living room, the bedroom has become a quiet oasis kind of place.
We end up spending a lot less time in the bedroom overall now - but the time we spend there is more special. So the time we used to spend in the bedroom with TV or computer is now in the living room. All our books are in there. We have a 2 bedroom apartment, so don't be thinking it's a huge place - but it's just the two of us, so it's perfect. We use the 2nd bedroom as an office/music room (H is a pianist), and I enforce an "eat in the dining room" rule. So our new home is very "task-oriented." There's only one place you can eat, one place to watch TV, one place to work, one place to sleep. Okay you can have sex anywhere but the bedroom is by far the most comfortable!!
I love the idea of having vows on the wall. I looked at Etsy for a long time for vinyl wallstickers with sayings or designs but ultimately went with the painting over the bed because we fell in love with it when we saw it - plus it was 80% off haha! We did the whole house on a really tight budget.
that_girl, I painted our bed gray too!! We inherited the bed from my in laws (along with the dining room table, chairs, and a few other things) - all of which needed painting. I did the walls in a light gray and the bed in a darkish gray (not quite charcoal). The silver in the room is actually a dark silver (think tarnished silver - or actually... I probably should be calling it PEWTER and not silver! I just realized that) and the duvet cover is charcoal rather than true silver. I love the layered gray look. It's so soothing, and the deep purple really works with it.
heartsbeating, I love the aromatherapy!! I have never really tried that, although I love scented candles. You've now made me want to learn more about that!
We didn't want a TV in our room ever because we are also into the "sex, sleep, and that's it" philosophy for the bedroom.
We felt the same. We've never had a TV in the bedroom. Our bedroom does have an outlet from previous inhabitants though so we move the TV in there if one of us is sick and stuck in bed. Or if we have "Room Service" night lol. It feels like a special treat where we have movies lined up in bed, with dinner (either we make it or get delivered) and we make like we're at a hotel enjoying room service. Sounds lame when I type it out haha but we enjoy it. Now if only we had someone to collect the dirty dishes when we leave them outside in the hallway ....j/k.
I have broached the idea that we keep the TV in the bedroom but H says no, he doesn't want it. It's not important to me, I just get tempted by the idea when we have Room Service night. I do value the peacefulness of our bedroom.
My husband does not want a TV in our sex room. Reading this thread helps me understand why.
About two months ago, we recently bought new furniture for our sex room. Now we have a larger bed to frolic in, a head and footboard to grab, as well as a dresser to bend me over with a mirror to watch ourselves.
I love dark wood, so we bought a cherry set. Still need lamps for the side tables.
a full size bed (closer and plenty big enough unless you are both huge people)
no tv (go watch shows in another room)
scented candles
no mirror across from the bed. This seems counterintuitive since it is hot watching yourselves BUT it is bad feng shui (something about 'inviting' the energy of others into your marriage...such as infedelity?) Plus....it is hotter looking at each other versus reflections.
photos of yourselves over time you've been together (dating, marriage)
art work showing images that support the relationship (nothing sad or mad or etc)
3Likes
What's your bedroom decor? 
