Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I'm not so sure if this will help really, but looking over the threads it seems the current theme is that many women have their husbands prefering porn to actual sessions. Of course there may be a variety of reasons; addiction, laziness, etc etc...
But I thought, oh hey, why not at least clarify that the sex part is up to scratch. Now I'm not questioning the ability of the women here, but I'm sure there's always room to learn and improve; with both men and women.
The first thing I'll mention is that all men are different, with different buttons. For example, I love the tease and the game, and I love to conquer. Other men may prefer to be conquered etc etc. It's a very important thing to remember as it can make all the difference when it comes to desire; for me despite my wife's ability, if she doesn't tease me, I'm still not in the mood.
Now with that clarified, let's go into the sex part...
(WARNING: Slightly graphic material ahead)
HJs/BJs many threads have got it covered, so I'm confident you all know about how to use your hands along with a BJ, vary your movements, pace it, even throw in a tease, show your passion for him etc. But let's go into intercourse, which doesn't seem to be covered in detail...
Now, in my experience, most women in the past I had were lacking in this department. It seems like men are expected to be able to reach orgasm without the lady doing much. For easier-to-please gentlemen this may be the case, but for more difficult folk (such as myself) - a little attention to detail is required.
Positions don't really matter, as long as it flows in my opinion, and you can try all these different positions with your husband but it may still not get him into a "wow" state. The trick is to focus on the actual technique. With men we have ours, but with ladies it seems to be a neglected topic.
During intercourse, remember to time your movements with him, and it doesn't matter what position. Push back if you're on your paws, or pull him in if he's on top and facing you (it's tiring yes, but there's where fitness comes in), play with your hair and your body, arch your back to express your pleasure, and if you're on top, grind him sensually as well, rotating your hips as you go up and down (and let him watch it!). Talk dirty, tease him, moan, whatever turns him on the most. The way you look at him may also make a difference, all in all; you have to express that you're into him as much as he's into you.
Some men may prefer the "ready to be taken" look, but for me, I like the "you can't have me" look. It's all in the body language. So, I hope I've helped... =/
I think what it all really boils down to, no matter what techniques or things you prefer, is that you both engage with a show of enthusiasm and willingness.
Both husbands and wives can be guilty of only engaging half-heartedly at times and not really spending the time or having the willingness to do things to get each other's motor running.
That doesn't necessarily mean you need to be overly-exaggerated or show false enthusiasm - just genuine and honest. And sometimes it's hotter than at other times, as we all know.
I think what it all really boils down to, no matter what techniques or things you prefer, is that you both engage with a show of enthusiasm and willingness.
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Basically, don't just lay there. Got it.
Yup, you ladies pretty much got it lol
It's very simple really, but unfortunately I've noticed too few women in the past actually have learnt it, at least from my experience.
My wife however, is a bit too much in her ability. She can force me erect despite my willpower, which she used during a torture session once, which made me ban cuffs/restraints for good. Even to ejaculation without orgasm, but that's another story; of how ability alone doesn't make a lovemaking session 10/10.
Still, she's improved really. It's also annoying though, it's hard to tell a woman how to improve... why do women take it so personally? heh... "You are SOOO insensitive" the missus likes to tell me, but I guess men have the same problem at times.
EDIT: Oh btw, be careful though, new sexual prowess might get him suspicious - he may think you have been learning stuff on the side with someone else
Yes, it's stupid, but it's just how it is
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Men want to know that women desire us and think we are the best thing since designer handbags were invented. We want to believe there is nothing you'd rather do than make us happy and have us make you happy. That's pretty much the #1 thing, I'd say. Sadly, the women who probably need most to hear this will be nowhere near this forum.
^ Well you've indirectly volunteered CandieGirl
Just as a man gave advice to women, a woman must give advice to men - so hit it!
Grrrrr! Walked into that one!
Well, personally, I need to know that you, as the man, are present. You need to BE there, and be totally and completely into it. Make noise, verbal or non, dirty or not...touch me, move with me, kiss me, wrap my hair in your hands and hold onto me...
Oral is sooooo nice....unfortunately I just found out that H has a self admitted 'hang-up' about it...so you guys have to get past any hangups! I'll keep the area all neat and tidy and smelling/tasting fresh, but for the love of Pete, get down there and introduce yourself.... Take your time - we take a little longer sometimes, to get there. Use what you've got, tongue, fingers, teeth, toys...
I don't know what else to say - lately I have to practically force my H - he's been sickly...but he feels better now, and I won't be taking no for an answer anymore. I guess he's not one of those chaser guys...that part is up to me, which is OK I guess!
Heh your post makes me feel like making one of my own really, my wife has been happy with me, except for my resistance to sex; I like romance either than constant routine ramming. Still... ok here goes, I just hope people here won't think of me as a braggart, I have my own worries; what others have - such as stability or boundaries, I lack...
if you do a good enough job of faking it, so that I can't tell the difference, I'm cool with that.. it shows you are putting forth the effort which in itself means something.
It is a skill and an art that everyone has to learn, like parenting, riding a bike, or sculpture!
During intercourse, remember to time your movements with him, and it doesn't matter what position. Push back if you're on your paws, or pull him in if he's on top and facing you (it's tiring yes, but there's where fitness comes in), play with your hair and your body, arch your back to express your pleasure, and if you're on top, grind him sensually as well, rotating your hips as you go up and down (and let him watch it!). Talk dirty, tease him, moan, whatever turns him on the most. The way you look at him may also make a difference, all in all; you have to express that you're into him as much as he's into you.
It really is about the mighty enthusiam on both sides, isn't it !
I really think I would leave a spouse who lacked it, it would bother me terribly. .
Orgasms... I for one, always wanted mine ! If he accidentily went before me (he used to blow pretty quickly back then), I would get at him and MAKE him do it again - It meant that much to me. Ha ha He knew, just cause of that , how badly I was into it ! I never faked an orgasm in my life. He became a master at holding out -so I wouldn't beat him up -just kidding !
For intercourse, I do alot of rhythmic moving around to "get mine", find the position that feels amazing (3 work for us) and with every pump, I can feel it building & building & I keep moving him along with what I need.
If he is on top of me, I am grabbing his butt, pushing him down into me, my legs bracing a certain way on his to rock myself or rock him a pleasurable way to get me there . I never let him do all the work- or it would likely not work for me! We may have to pause a few times for him to hold on, but 99.9% of the time he is able to hold out.
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Originally Posted by RandomDude
... ok here goes, I just hope people here won't think of me as a braggart, I have my own worries; what others have - such as stability or boundaries, I lack...
I never think you are bragging -you are just as humble about the stuff that is not so favoarable in your relationship, so that speaks volumes. Love your openness !
Yeah, like how I still can't walk with her in public due to racial issues with our neighbourhood, or her tantrums over me fun-flirting, at least her nymphomania is resolved somewhat... not to mention all the hell in the past... guess we need as much as help as the next person. But, our sex life is great, and if any advice can help others it's great.
Enthusiasm is all it is, keeping it simple; it just comes down to passion. BTW SA, lol!!! My first was like that, trained me somewhat. In other ways too outside of sex, like how to stay dead still in bed when sleeping, or how not to snore. Still didn't train me not to steal the blankie however xD
Tips for the ladies 
at him and MAKE him do it again - It meant that much to me. Ha ha He knew, just cause of that , how badly I was into it ! I never faked an orgasm in my life. He became a master at holding out -so I wouldn't beat him up -just kidding !
