Reason (1) She could be resentful that I keep bringing the subject up and trying to guilt her into doing some of these things, which I openly admit to.
that is a circular argument, and does not wash, it would not explain her not wanting kissing. normally the resentment is of the form - you never do this, you never do that, you've ruined my life. I will be too old to have a decent career after the kids grow up. etc.
Reason (2) I don't qute understand this reason.
There is a book written by Esther Perel, "Mating in Captivity" that explains this syndrome. The book is good, but it will make you angry! Basically, she says sex is an attraction caused be by distance. When some people get too close the loose the attraction. So you have to create space.
I agree on the kissing and breathing part. I have addressed it with her directly but I never get a strait answer.
And you won't. welcome to the "code". It is very hard to crack, and if you get close, they change it. there are 3 ways to get nearer the truth.
1) Get a mutual female friend to bring up the kissing subject and deviously ask your wife. This is wicked I know, but it could save years, as long as you don;t get found out. It would work by having you friend say, "You know, I don't know why, but I just don't seem to like kissing my hubby so much these days, and he is always after it, especially during sex". Do you know, you could sell that information, there are at least 5 guys on here with the same problem. My wife also goes on and off it - on the same day
2) Similar, and just as devious but not quite so evil... speak about a third party, or a TV drama, and get her to talk about someone else. Just remember, that the male in the situation represents you, and the woman represents her. I have used this technique, but it's very hard to pull off. Also you must write down what ever you learn, or you will forget. the reason for this is that you actually enter an altered state of awareness when you do this, and it can be forgotten, just like a vivid dream.
3) Practise semen retention - this makes you super sensitive. This is my main method - it is the only way I can keep up with the female brain. Here is my story: Semen retention, the early days. - The sexuality support group forum
I sometime wonder if she has lost some attraction to me. I am 5'11" and weigh about 185 lbs. I do have a small belly, beer belly. It seems like I have 0% body fat everywhere but on my stomach where it jumps to 25%. This has been a change throughout our marriage.
Yes, she has, but it's complicated. When you first got together, you pressed her hot button. Now you don't. but she still loves you, and she is attracted to you, but also repulsed by you at the same time. It is not your appearance, but because familiarity breeds contempt. Obviously, a flat stomach would help.
First of all stop the beer. If you practise semen retention, you won't need it - it's like being on drugs
You need to flirt with her during the day, without it leading to sex. Turn up the heat. Slap her butt, and watch her reaction closely.
You can get through this, and she will thank you, but you've got to man up! If you really want something, you can obtain it, but it takes dedication. If beer is in the way - ditch it. I don't let anything come in between the sex that I want, but that's me.