I need a reality check from people out there. The background: husband and I are both in our fifties, married 24 years, three high school and college age kids. Our marriage has had a lot of ups and downs over the years. Two years ago I was so tired and unhappy with my marriage and life in general that I spent a couple of months chatting and emailing with other men. It almost broke up our marriage and I will always regret the pain it caused my husband. After that, we went to counseling, talked, and the last two years have been the most connected and intimate time of our relationship. The problem is that I want to make up for lost time and have adventures, fun, sex, etc while we still can. My husband is more conservative; he is very considerate and our sex life is very good, but any adventurousness always has to be introduced and encouraged by me, with him joining in, sometimes without much enthusiasm.
The problem is that I want to be more adventurous than he does- I'd like to at least consider a threesome, or an occasional swinging experience, or something along those lines. He either makes it clear he doesn't want to, or agrees, but clearly is uncomfortable about it. When I dig under the surface, he eventually admits that he doesn't want to but is afraid to say no.
I don't know what to do; I certainly don't want to do anything that makes him feel coerced, but I'm afraid I'll regret and resent not being able to do a few wild things before I'm too old to be able to. I've offered to let him indulge any fantasies he has of his own, with or without me, but he doesn't seem to have anything besides what we already have. He has offered to let me have one experience of my choice, no strings attached, but I know how much it would bother him for me to take him up on it. Should i just resign myself to monogamy to keep an otherwise fairly good marriage? Or take him at his word and use my one hall pass?
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The problem is that I want to be more adventurous than he does- I'd like to at least consider a threesome, or an occasional swinging experience, or something along those lines. He either makes it clear he doesn't want to, or agrees, but clearly is uncomfortable about it. When I dig under the surface, he eventually admits that he doesn't want to but is afraid to say no.
I don't know what to do; I certainly don't want to do anything that makes him feel coerced, but I'm afraid I'll regret and resent not being able to do a few wild things before I'm too old to be able to. I've offered to let him indulge any fantasies he has of his own, with or without me, but he doesn't seem to have anything besides what we already have. He has offered to let me have one experience of my choice, no strings attached, but I know how much it would bother him for me to take him up on it. Should i just resign myself to monogamy to keep an otherwise fairly good marriage? Or take him at his word and use my one hall pass?
Posted via Mobile Device