Hopefully our esteemed audience here can help me with my dilemma. I really don't know what to do or where to turn.
In the last several months, I have begin to notice small things which caused me some suspicion with my wife.
A week ago last Monday, I had the opportunity to open her cell phone and read her text messages without her knowledge. This may be a prime example perhaps of not asking for information when you don't really want it. Before I am lambasted for invading her private space, we both had discussed this privacy issue in the past and agreed that those who hide their cell phones from spouses already are cheating.
I found where she has been sending and receiving text messages from her ex-husband (a decade plus since their divorce). This in itself is not problematic, as they as well as I and my ex-wife try to have a cordial relationship. Small, trivial issues often are addressed back and forth between the parties via text messages. However, I did find where they had met for dinner twice without my knowledge. Also, where he later invited her to go to the beach for the weekend. Sadly, she gave him an (false) excuse about having to work during the time and not that she was married now. The invitation was left open for a future date, of which she acknowledged. I do not believe this weekend has occurred because she has not had an absence of a long enough time since the message.
But the most distressing message of all was the one she received on her birthday week before last. In it, he expressed his happy birthday wishes and told her that he loved her very very much. Her reply was a thank you and I love you in return.
As difficult as it was to accomplish, I then decided to simply sit on this information and wait to see what may transpire later.
Here's for the sexual part: I've attempted to have sex with her twice since this discovery. Both times have been less than satisfactory, with the first attempt my first ever serious encounter with ED. I simply cannot get past having read my wife saying I love you to another man.
Day before yesterday, the confrontation did occur however. Something was said and she had detected already my emotional distress. This was just before my leaving for several days on business. We argued about this for about 10 minutes before she refused to discuss it any further.
Here's my questions to the readers:
1. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill in this issue? Of course, in her defense she says this is the case. I asked her what her reaction would be should she find out I had met my ex without my knowledge twice for dinner. No reply. And on the beach trip, she said that she only didn't tell him what she should to keep from hurting his feelings. I call BS on this.
2. On the ED issue, is this going to be a long-term thing typically to deal with if we do stay together? I'm sure there are those here who have experienced this. I'd like to know what to expect. We had a semi satisfactory sex life previously, and I want it to work. As most here, frequency issues. My wanting it and she not. She has always told me that I was the best she had ever had. I can't imagine why she's going back to the ex (if she is) from what she told me about their physical relationship in the past.
Thanks again for reading and for any replies. I'll be back home Friday p.m. , and need to know where to turn and what direction.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and appreciate the help.
Posted via Mobile Device
In the last several months, I have begin to notice small things which caused me some suspicion with my wife.
A week ago last Monday, I had the opportunity to open her cell phone and read her text messages without her knowledge. This may be a prime example perhaps of not asking for information when you don't really want it. Before I am lambasted for invading her private space, we both had discussed this privacy issue in the past and agreed that those who hide their cell phones from spouses already are cheating.
I found where she has been sending and receiving text messages from her ex-husband (a decade plus since their divorce). This in itself is not problematic, as they as well as I and my ex-wife try to have a cordial relationship. Small, trivial issues often are addressed back and forth between the parties via text messages. However, I did find where they had met for dinner twice without my knowledge. Also, where he later invited her to go to the beach for the weekend. Sadly, she gave him an (false) excuse about having to work during the time and not that she was married now. The invitation was left open for a future date, of which she acknowledged. I do not believe this weekend has occurred because she has not had an absence of a long enough time since the message.
But the most distressing message of all was the one she received on her birthday week before last. In it, he expressed his happy birthday wishes and told her that he loved her very very much. Her reply was a thank you and I love you in return.
As difficult as it was to accomplish, I then decided to simply sit on this information and wait to see what may transpire later.
Here's for the sexual part: I've attempted to have sex with her twice since this discovery. Both times have been less than satisfactory, with the first attempt my first ever serious encounter with ED. I simply cannot get past having read my wife saying I love you to another man.
Day before yesterday, the confrontation did occur however. Something was said and she had detected already my emotional distress. This was just before my leaving for several days on business. We argued about this for about 10 minutes before she refused to discuss it any further.
Here's my questions to the readers:
1. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill in this issue? Of course, in her defense she says this is the case. I asked her what her reaction would be should she find out I had met my ex without my knowledge twice for dinner. No reply. And on the beach trip, she said that she only didn't tell him what she should to keep from hurting his feelings. I call BS on this.
2. On the ED issue, is this going to be a long-term thing typically to deal with if we do stay together? I'm sure there are those here who have experienced this. I'd like to know what to expect. We had a semi satisfactory sex life previously, and I want it to work. As most here, frequency issues. My wanting it and she not. She has always told me that I was the best she had ever had. I can't imagine why she's going back to the ex (if she is) from what she told me about their physical relationship in the past.
Thanks again for reading and for any replies. I'll be back home Friday p.m. , and need to know where to turn and what direction.
I wouldn't wish this on anyone, and appreciate the help.
Posted via Mobile Device