Originally Posted by MarkTwain
Very interested to know more. Could you give a brief history of you sex life with your wife, and when was the last time you had sex. How does she feel about not getting sex?
A brief history? Well, I guess we've had our ups and downs (pun intended). First, let me tell about us. We've been married 20 years and have three fantastic kids, a son 20 and daughters 17 and 14. I credit my wife with being a great mother to them, and turning them into wonderful people.
Sex before marriage was good. If there were any failings in our sex life in the beginning it was all me. I was inexperienced with sex, and inexperienced with women (raised in a family of all boys). We lived together for a year before marriage, and she taught me well (so I thought).
Our wedding night was a disaster. We got kicked out of the reception hall at midnight and decided to continue partying at the hotel with our friends. But we agreed to go to our room and "change our clothes" before meeting everyone in someone else's room. That never happened. By 2:00 am I was hoping to pressure her to go to our room for a quickie, but when I said I was going to bed, she said "Ok, see you later".
I was angry, and went to bed pissed off. I promptly fell asleep (lots of alcohol) and was awakened by her at 5:30am. Now she was ready to have sex, but I was still so angry I refused. This started a huge fight, but in the end I relented and we consummated our marriage.
Now remember, this happened almost 21 years ago, and I still remember it like it was yesterday.
I have tried to bring this up with her in the past, but she feels I just "passed out on her" and she has a good laugh with her friends about it. She cannot and/or will not understand that it upset me, or that SHE may have done something wrong.
I have given up trying to mention it, and it just stews there. Now we have had some really good sex over the years, but it seems to me that whenever we have any trouble in our marriage, that memory creeps back into my head.
Currently we haven't had sex since November, and we only had sex about 4 times last year.
Truthfully, I don't know how she feels about it. She does try to initiate it, and I refuse her (THAT must hurt). But she acts like it's no big deal.
I have TONS more to talk about, but this isn't actually my thread, and I'll save it for future posts.