Let's take a look at this.
Here is your post which I commented on:
Asking someone to be physically intimate and emotionally deceptive - is beyond messed up.
If I understand what you are telling me, you are saying there IS emotion in casual sex and ONS. You say that the "passion" or horniness that each person feels is the emotion.
I don't know if being horny or randy is an emotion or not. I thought is was your body letting you know you have a physical need? I think now, it is also the brain saying it has a need for some dopamine, glucosamine and chondroitin...........wait, not those last two.
You get what I mean, though? I don't remember all of the chemical names released during sex. I do realize some of them are released during ejaculation and right after. I can't speak for women.
My conclusions are tied in with my thoughts above.
I'm not a big fan of casual sex - but - if two people are physically lonely and desire each other - and take precautions not to infect each other with a pathogen - and neither of them makes any promises as to strings attached - that is their business as adults.
So, we are acting like that person is the one we want, but in reality, we simply need someone willing or we need masturbation. I think, without the emotional connection of knowing someone and caring for them, we simply have masturbation using another human as a tool. This idea of mine seems to be supported by your comment. Though, I know you didn't mean it that way.
And usually in a ONS - the passion itself is genuine. Unless one of them is visibly MUCH wealthier than the other
Agree that no one knows what's in the other's head. The "passion" is simply a feeling or horniness or a need for ejaculation. Without true feelings for that other person, but simply a connection cause she is hot, and we are horny, I'm not so sure that passion is for them. I think we use the word passion for horny. Passion for another is simply that horniness directed at a hot body, or a body we find attractive enough. That seems to relate inversely to the amount of "passion" we feel, to a point which is personal to the individual.
On TAM, there are two things which seem similar - but often aren't.
1. A desire for more frequent sex (this falls into the 'mechanics' of life and therefore subject to compromise between committed partners)
2. A desire for more 'passion' during sex (pure emotion - and not subject to compromise or negotiation)
So, a desire for more sex may equal horniness, but horniness usually comes from a need for sex?
A need for sex causes us to be more passionate, which, in this instance, means to me something like an insatiable desire or hunger which turns into physical actions with someone who he highly desires to please and be pleased by sexually?
If a person, a man, is unsatisfied with the level of variety, duration of each session,(edit: add love and respect to the list) or his partner's attitude during sex, he may need it much more often, because he is not getting those brain chemicals which cause him to feel satisfaction for a little while.
Sometimes, there will be less "passion" due to a simple physical need for sex and some chemical release, but not a need for the bonding and satisfaction chemicals, and/or the person he is with is not ideal in some way which could possibly include something he doesn't know exists, like a pheromone?
I see this possibly happening in casual sex and ons as well as marriages.
A partner who is really into you, will accommodate a higher frequency than their ideal provided you don't double down and press them to protect your ego by 'simulating' more passion than they really feel.
A partner who is really into you, in my opinion, will accommodate you more frequently because they are more into you. They will only accommodate you to the limit they feel comfortable with, then the passion will start to dry up.
They will sometimes try to fake the passion, but most men who know their wives, will notice a difference when they were truly into it.
I think there is a finite amount that anyone can expect from a certain person. I think that varies with each of us. I think it varies again with who we are with.
Settling? Yes, we all do it. We cannot have that perfect dream girl or guy within our head. They don't exist. Never did. The person we married? Who we think they are is not necessarily who they are. I'm not saying they are being deceptive. I'm saying we deceive ourselves.
Yes, sometimes they are deceptive. Sometimes.
I think HD and LD are definitions within a specific relationship. I do not believe they are healthy to use as a general term. In some relationships(edit: "other relationships those two individuals have", should replace some relationships), the HD might be the LD or vice versa(Edit: delete the words, "or vice versa", they just confuse). Much of that depends on what I posit above. Make any sense?