Another update to this thread... Ever since starting this thread I have adhered to all the original agreements that my wife and I have made spelled out in the original post. My wife has also been making an effort as well as I notice that she no longer rejects my advances (unless we have an argument that needs to be resolved).
So the last time I found myself in uncharted territory. My wife initiated and it was ME that was not really in the mood. She suggested we get naked and snuggle which we proceeded to do, and I had no reaction to it. I actually started to feel a little anxiety of, "oh crap, if she discovers I'm not in the mood to the point that I am not even getting an erection, she will very likely get her feelings hurt!" But I also laughed to myself and thought, "well OK, perhaps I need to let her feel what it is to have to work for it!" After about ten minutes of snuggling and still getting no reaction out of myself with her naked beside me, I decided to change my attitude and just make it all about her so she could really enjoy the moment.
It was as if karma is teaching me what I have been putting my wife through all these years. Just because I was not getting aroused did not mean that I had lost all my loving feeling for my wife? No, it just meant I was tired and I just ate too much pizza! I could also see why my wife could easily give into feelings of anxiety and push me away as that would be easier than me getting frustrated that she was not getting aroused with me while trying every trick in the book.
...so in making it all about her, I mixed it up a little and did a few things I have never done before. I basically shifted our bodies around and proceeded to give her an "orgasmic meditation" for which I had seen a few videos on youtube like this, but without the talking, gloves, or cheesyness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-86ZJvBBnNU
Rather explicit and NSFW
But instead of ending things there, I took those same concepts and began giving her oral.
Not sure what exactly happened but she described the experience as the absolute best oral sex she had ever had. To the point she looked at me and said that I could do that to her anytime I wanted. By this time I was now in the mood and we proceeded to have a great lovemaking session.