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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 11-01-2011, 02:35 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
Take your balls, squeeze them really hard--- all day. Twist while squeezing and in the mean time, pull out your pubes, one by one.

Then, while continuing to squeeze (tightly) and twist (tightly) push down where your bladder is and maybe have someone punch you in the stomach. Twice.

And then, at the end of this long day, pop one of your nads.

That's about how a cyst would feel to a man, I'm guessing.

Oh and don't forget to have someone bugging you for sex this whole time even though you said you are in pain.
Some days, I'm really glad I'm a guy... No periods, no childbirth, no cysts... Thanks for making me feel better about my situation!

C
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:36 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
Take your balls, squeeze them really hard--- all day. Twist while squeezing and in the mean time, pull out your pubes, one by one.

Then, while continuing to squeeze (tightly) and twist (tightly) push down where your bladder is and maybe have someone punch you in the stomach. Twice.

And then, at the end of this long day, pop one of your nads.

That's about how a cyst would feel to a man, I'm guessing.

Oh and don't forget to have someone bugging you for sex this whole time even though you said you are in pain.
but if you have someone do that to you instead of self inflicting it then it's cheating
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:37 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

Never walked that path myself - but what if your friend(s) asked you to join in on a video?

How will you feel about this very attractive girl the next time you see her? What if this girl is the 'BEST' you've ever seen? Imagine knowing the greatest porn star of all time was just a few blocks away - might be hard to stay away.

Speaking of mutual male masturbation - what if your friend has some gay tendencies and you find he wants to make a different type of video with you? I couldn't do it...(not that there's anything wrong with it...)

What if this girl cleans up her act and marries a really good friend in 10 years?

How would your wife feel?

One of the problems with online porn - or rented porn - or whatever - is that if you watch too much you begin to become desensitized. You've seen the normal stuff - so now let's watch something a bit edgier - three guys/one girl. Then its four guys/one girl - or WHATEVER...

Just wondering - if you watch this and it excites you - what's the next step?
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:37 PM   #34 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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As far whipping it out in front of another guy, I doubt I could finish. I don't think it's gay or anything (so long as you're not crossing swords, or trading weapons), but still not my cup of tea. But I would think that having an orgasm in the same room with another guy is another big step in the whole "cheating scale"... Again, what would your wife think of that? And as an FYI, this is coming from someone who had an MMF threesome set up for his GF last month. So I'm not judging you on the gay/straight thing, just on "is it right" thing.

C
There's the two sides of the river. The side the wife knows about, and the side she doesn't. She doesn't know what porn I watch. She doesnt know the stuff I've done growing up. She doesn't want to. And if it's a black and white thing, I feel like if the above scenario unfurled, it would go into that "it doesnt affect the wife's health, it helps my emotional state, do it and keep it quiet".

Then I guess falling into the river is the stuff that I need to feel bad about - whatever crosses the line into cheating. That needs to be a grey area for me otherwise any random sex thought I have is cheating and what's the point.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:38 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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Worse is the scenario I am attempting to discourage myself with. Talk me out of it with a worst case scenario. I was hoping someone has walked this path before me honestly.
I would say worse case you watch the video then when you see the woman from the video in person you feel the urge to do those sex acts with her. Now how long before you give into this urge as well? Leading to an affair.

My husband has a porn addiction he just came to gripes with and is fighting it everyday. Now if he had watched a sex tape of a woman he knew and saw a lot of I would never trust him around her at all.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:39 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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"it doesnt affect the wife's health, it helps my emotional state, do it and keep it quiet".


typical justifications of a wayward
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:39 PM   #37 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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but if you have someone do that to you instead of self inflicting it then it's cheating
Well, for scientific purposes.

I suffered from a cyst the size of a grapefruit on my left ovary for almost a year It was the worst pain ever...and it was attracted to my sciatic nerve which didn't help.

I had a bunch of things wrong with my uterus too, and endometriosis. I did have surgery a year ago this month and finally have pain free cycles. It was hell. 24/7 pain. I still had sex with my husband, but it had to be quick I hated making him feel like that...but honestly, the pain was that bad.

So when I hear men say they don't "get it", it makes me irritated. Have some compassion. These things don't eff around.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:40 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

That's why internet porn is considered somewhat "safe". You're never going to meet Jenna Jameson - or whoever. She'll never knock on your door and ask you to join in. Its total fantasy.

This is just too real.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:40 PM   #39 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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typical justifications of a wayward
Wtf. lolll Just go do it already. You know you want to.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:44 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

Watching porn featuring a female friend is not the kind of thing you should do without your wife's consent and the consent of the female friend. It's one thing if a buddy shows you a picture of his woman or whatever, I've had that happen several times and it's really not a big deal, but doing this is a real big deal. You will be crossing a major line into dangerous territory. Are you willing to destroy your marriage over this?
If you're just curious about seeing a woman engage in particular acts you can find porn on the internet that doesn't feature a woman you know, it's not like it's hard to do.
Also, porn isn't nearly as sexually arousing when it's a woman you know who isn't and never will be your sex partner. It makes it too personal, it becomes about finding them sexually arousing and that's uncomfortably inappropriate to the point of distraction. Instead of "wow, his girlfriend has such sexy tits!" it turns into "yep, that's his attractive girlfriend with no clothes on". If that's not how things are for you with this female friend you need to get a handle on it. You should be able to see any of your female friends in a sexual context without finding them personally sexy.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:45 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

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Never walked that path myself - but what if your friend(s) asked you to join in on a video?

How will you feel about this very attractive girl the next time you see her? What if this girl is the 'BEST' you've ever seen? Imagine knowing the greatest porn star of all time was just a few blocks away - might be hard to stay away.

Speaking of mutual male masturbation - what if your friend has some gay tendencies and you find he wants to make a different type of video with you? I couldn't do it...(not that there's anything wrong with it...)

What if this girl cleans up her act and marries a really good friend in 10 years?

How would your wife feel?

One of the problems with online porn - or rented porn - or whatever - is that if you watch too much you begin to become desensitized. You've seen the normal stuff - so now let's watch something a bit edgier - three guys/one girl. Then its four guys/one girl - or WHATEVER...

Just wondering - if you watch this and it excites you - what's the next step?
I hate that I am a scumbag for answering a rhetorical, but if I were asked to be in a video in a non-commital sense, like the nonacting cameraman - I dont know - is there a huge difference between watching a deed in video and in real life? Sadly I would suffer on this for a while before answering.

If he had gay tendencies - again, to what extent? This is the trouble with the grey color answers. Mutual self service is more than 0% straight to me. If you dont look at each other, is it just a little straighter? If you help each other? Somewhere pretty quickly it crosses the line of "not straight anymore", but is that the same line as cheating? Rhetorical. Not asking for a literal. I would probably consider some things that are not straight to occur before cheating, but it's all mental.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:47 PM   #42 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

cheating is crossing boundaries set by you and your wife, the answer lies in the fact that if dont tell her because you are afraid of her being upset about it then it's crossing the line
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:48 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Default Re: a friend is tempting me horribly

I bow before your noodly appendages.


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Originally Posted by spaghettimonster View Post
I haven't had sex because the wife has some medical thing that is over my head. Cysts? That cause pain. I dunno.
Then you should find out.
Ovarian or uterine cysts come and go and when they get bad they can be surgically/medically removed decreased.

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Everything else is great in the marriage and we're financially fused and I don't really want to change that. Call me selfish for staying but, she gets 100% of her needs filled and I get 90% of mine filled. I hate to be pragmatic/dumb sounding, but I'm just seeing less black and white, more grey, and wondering why I should mess something up for something as trivial as sexual urges.
Maybe it works for you but sex is a necessity in my life.
I`m 44 and the urges haven`t abated with age.

I don`t really see an ethical problem with you watching the vid but the situation sounds weird about the way it would go down.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:50 PM   #44 (permalink)
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So when I hear men say they don't "get it", it makes me irritated. Have some compassion. These things don't eff around.
Let's be callous and make equivalent the sexual needs of a man and emotional needs of a woman. I said callous so obviously this is already incorrect.

Anyways, you're fine and your husband needs an operation before he will give you emotional support again. He's put the operation off because for him there's nothing missing. He's starting to get annoyed why you are always asking him if he'll ever get that operation.

If you don't agree with the comparison, say why I am wrong instead of just assuming I am unfeeling or don't care.
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Old 11-01-2011, 02:51 PM   #45 (permalink)
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cheating is crossing boundaries set by you and your wife, the answer lies in the fact that if dont tell her because you are afraid of her being upset about it then it's crossing the line
You're the injector of rationality today, I guess.
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