sex outside marriage
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » sex outside marriage

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-01-2011, 03:25 PM   #1 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 22
Default sex outside marriage

My 58 year old husband of 7 years wants to introduce another man into our marriage bed...actually he says it will add to our sex life. I am so upset and when I said I couldn't do it, he now won't even talk to me. I have tried talking to him and he says I am being unfair. HELP
Upset and confused is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-01-2011, 03:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,301
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Tell him the people of the Internet think he's an idiot.

Bringing someone else into a relationship could only be a good thing if both people want it. If someone has doubts or doesn't want it at all, I can only see bad things coming from it.

C
PBear is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 03:56 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 273
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
Tell him the people of the Internet think he's an idiot.

Bringing someone else into a relationship could only be a good thing if both people want it. If someone has doubts or doesn't want it at all, I can only see bad things coming from it.

C
square1 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 04:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,144
Default Re: sex outside marriage

PBear is right.

Why does he want another man involved? Is he planning to just share you with the man? Or does he have an interest in the both of you sharing the other man? There must be a reason for him wanting to live that fantasy.
HerToo is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 04:25 PM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
tacoma's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 5,250
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Your husband is a selfish ass
tacoma is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 04:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 10,100
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
Tell him the people of the Internet think he's an idiot.

Bringing someone else into a relationship could only be a good thing if both people want it. If someone has doubts or doesn't want it at all, I can only see bad things coming from it.

C
As a person on the Internet I endorse this statement.

Lay down the law,and tell him this is a very stupid idea.
Posted via Mobile Device
Shaggy is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 04:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: OK
Posts: 235
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Ask him, "Are you gay?".
Mike188 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 04:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 3
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Sounds like your husband has repressed gay tendencies, likely has been acting on them outside of the home, and wants to legitimize it by getting your blessing. This isn't about you, this is about him.
AnonymousMan is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 06:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
Registered User
 
danjensv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 16
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Nothing wrong with that IF both husband and wife desire a third party in the bedroom AND both have discussed it thoroughly AND have set some ground rules AND thought about it again thoroughly AND...well you get the idea.

It funny that some people will take so much care in selecting a mate, but think nothing of inviting a virtual stranger into the bedroom. You're husband is a jerk. Talking about it is one thing, claiming you are somehow flawed or selfish for not doing what he asks is...well it borders on unforgivable. The people of internet have spoken.
danjensv is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 06:54 PM   #10 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 210
Default Re: sex outside marriage

I agree with other posters above but wanted to add that it is a common fantasy for a husband to watch his wife with another man or other men.

Although I dont know much about it, varations of it are called "cuckold" or "hot wife".

Google them and have a read.

There are sites dedicated to the concept.
NoIssues is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 07:57 PM   #11 (permalink)
CH
Member
 
CH's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,573
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Tell him he can introduce the man and the 2 of them can sleep with on another for all you care.
CH is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 09:13 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
that_girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Wherever I lay my head.
Posts: 10,278
Default Re: sex outside marriage

He's gay. Now he's upset that he can't have a boyfriend.

Most men want to bring another woman into the bed...he wants another man. Hm...
__________________

Real women don't want flowers and chocolate.
They want vodka and Taco Bell.
that_girl is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 09:22 PM   #13 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Northeast
Posts: 476
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
He's gay. Now he's upset that he can't have a boyfriend.

Most men want to bring another woman into the bed...he wants another man. Hm...
is it gay or cuckold?
YupItsMe is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 09:24 PM   #14 (permalink)
Member
 
larry.gray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,993
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by PBear View Post
Tell him the people of the Internet think he's an idiot.


PBear, that was an awesome way to put it
larry.gray is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-01-2011, 09:26 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
larry.gray's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,993
Default Re: sex outside marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoIssues View Post
I agree with other posters above but wanted to add that it is a common fantasy for a husband to watch his wife with another man or other men.
I don't know how "common" it is.

There are about 160 million men in the United States. If 1% of them had that fantasy, that's still 1.6 million men. It would be easy to come up with anecdotal examples but still far from common.
larry.gray is online now   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can't find an answer to my problem in any marriage book :( and my marriage is crumbli MDGV General Relationship Discussion 26 05-22-2012 06:46 AM
Parents failed marriage effecting outlook on relationship/marriage liveinlove Physical & Mental Health Issues 1 10-23-2011 09:15 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:29 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage