Hello,
I am looking for insights to my marriage. It seems that sex has vanished because wife seems to always be tired or not into it. Perhaps she is depressed or hormones and health is impacting at age 49 and I am 46. We have a child and I really want our passion back.
When I try and discuss SEX she always makes me feel bad by saying that SEX is all I care about. She has said that if I had it twice per week I would not have any issues.
I am considering scheduling time with marriage counselor or sex therapist to try and progress this stale mate we seem to have. I know that she is not intentionally trying to be this way or hurt me and she seems to know how I feel its just that in the 18 months we had sex 3 times. She has not given me oral sex in a few years and she used to even give me massages when she was not in the mood ..now she has stopped doing that .. We have never had sex more than once in a day or a week ...Can I do something to SHIFT THIS ?
It seems that she is the only one who says when we have sex or not. When I initiate with her she always tends to do a few things to avoid the connection physically, She either brings up things that are worrysome or stressful or she reacts with her thoughts about my initiations and how my overall throughline to relationship is sex.
Its really getting to me at this point. I feel like everything must be perfect in our lives before she can think about sex. Here is the thing when we do have sex its for 5-10 minutes and that is it ... I almost feel like she has sex with me because I want it and the last time I asked her why she seems to disconnect right away after sex... and her response was - you got what you wanted and now your unhappy ?
I do not want PITY sex and I can not seem to get the passion back in our lives .. Even though we have discussed this previously we cant seem to make any progress with our intimacy. It seems she likes spending time with herself and sleeping more than anything - in the last 2 days she slept like 22 hours ..
I wish there was some step by step guide on how to get my wife back in sexual mode... I have not been initiating lately and have been focused on purpose driven activities like work and getting things done but I can not do this forever ...
I want this to CHANGE , it just seems like a puzzle I can not solve ..
I am looking for insights to my marriage. It seems that sex has vanished because wife seems to always be tired or not into it. Perhaps she is depressed or hormones and health is impacting at age 49 and I am 46. We have a child and I really want our passion back.
When I try and discuss SEX she always makes me feel bad by saying that SEX is all I care about. She has said that if I had it twice per week I would not have any issues.
I am considering scheduling time with marriage counselor or sex therapist to try and progress this stale mate we seem to have. I know that she is not intentionally trying to be this way or hurt me and she seems to know how I feel its just that in the 18 months we had sex 3 times. She has not given me oral sex in a few years and she used to even give me massages when she was not in the mood ..now she has stopped doing that .. We have never had sex more than once in a day or a week ...Can I do something to SHIFT THIS ?
It seems that she is the only one who says when we have sex or not. When I initiate with her she always tends to do a few things to avoid the connection physically, She either brings up things that are worrysome or stressful or she reacts with her thoughts about my initiations and how my overall throughline to relationship is sex.
Its really getting to me at this point. I feel like everything must be perfect in our lives before she can think about sex. Here is the thing when we do have sex its for 5-10 minutes and that is it ... I almost feel like she has sex with me because I want it and the last time I asked her why she seems to disconnect right away after sex... and her response was - you got what you wanted and now your unhappy ?
I do not want PITY sex and I can not seem to get the passion back in our lives .. Even though we have discussed this previously we cant seem to make any progress with our intimacy. It seems she likes spending time with herself and sleeping more than anything - in the last 2 days she slept like 22 hours ..
I wish there was some step by step guide on how to get my wife back in sexual mode... I have not been initiating lately and have been focused on purpose driven activities like work and getting things done but I can not do this forever ...
I want this to CHANGE , it just seems like a puzzle I can not solve ..