misticli

This posting is to open up a discussion about porn from the viewpoint that it is not the "evil" entity that it seems to to be to a lot of people.

I have noticed a lot of posts in the forum where wives prosecute their husbands for viewing porn. Lets face it, all men have or do watch porn, I do not care what they tell you, they do.

With that thought in mind, if you make porn taboo (while at the same time possibly having sex once every week or less with your husband) then you wonder why they can become obsessed with it.

If you are away for the weekend, or you husband is away on a business trip would you father not have him watching porn than possibly turning to another women? or feeling like his needs are not being met and becoming resentful?

There are many things in porn that are way out there; however, there are also things that you might like to experiment with your partner. You can use porn to make your sex life more spicy without effecting your intimacy. You do not need to have a body like the women in the videos to be a sex vixen and please your husband.

The only time porn viewing imo becomes an issue is when it is an obsession and your partner is using it constantly instead of having sex with you.

ClipClop

The porn lie.

All men do it or are lying.

Accept porn or he will cheat.


Sounds a lot more like fear mongering than a justification for lusting after others when you promised to remain faithful.

Faithfulness begins in the mind. You can't see it because you don't want to give it up.

I really think the pro porn argument is lame. It is a lot like a cheater saying it meant nothing. That sounds a lot like someone who is a liar or unable to look within.
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that_girl

Actually, not all men do. My husband doesn't. He even says he doesn't care for it. His friends tease him because once they went to a strip club (before he met me) and he spent the whole time in the arcade. He says he'd rather be with a woman. So not "all" of anyone does anything. Absolutes really don't exist.

We don't need porn in our relationship. We are experimental and don't need visual stimulus other than each other.

I think to some people, porn is evil and that's ok. That's their choice to set that boundary. I was happy that my husband wasn't into porn. I don't care for it and wouldn't want him watching it. I'm hardly a prude. I just think porn leads to other things and can easily become an obsession.

If my husband can't control himself for a weekend, we have bigger issues than porn. Holy crap. I go away for the weekend and don't turn towards other men. I don't worry that he'll go away for the weekend and turn to another woman. O.o

We made a commitment to each other. Three days apart isn't going to break that. Although, the reunion will be AWESOME!

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hurtnohio

I'm reminded of an old Native American story. A grandfather is explaining to his grandson that we all have a good side and an evil side. He explained that we have two wolves that live in our hearts. The grandson asked which one would win. The wise old Indian chief said, "The one that wins is the one you feed."

Men have enough of a struggle keeping their thoughts focused on their wives as it is. We can't help it. We're visually aroused creatures. Why feed that wolf with porn?

chattycathy

Here's the deal (sort of)

Before internet access to all of humanity, to see porn, a man had to either
1. go buy a magazine from a cashier somewhere (or steal it)
or
2. go to a place to watch a movie where he would possibly be seen going to see it

Now, any old person can log on and browse and get the most XXX stuff imaginable to warp their brains.

Hope1964

I think porn can have it's place. We enjoy erotic literature together - we both enjoy that more than pictures. Once in a while we'll watch a movie together too.

Our situation isn't typical because my husband has a sex addiction. So we have strict limits, and it's always up to him what we indulge in because he knows how far he can go and not be sucked in to going too far. Pretty much anything online is taboo because pretty much everything online has pop ups for sex chats and hook up sites unfortunately. Which is what lured him into cheating.

I wonder to myself sometimes whether he would have cheated if there was no such thing as online porn.

Therealbrighteyes

If a man is so lame that he cannot be away for a weekend without porn being an option rather than cheating, well guess what....you aren't ever getting in my pants.
As for the women in porn being competition for wives, hilarious. I don't personally find track marks/noticeable coke habit, orb shaped cheap implants, visible puncture wounds from lip injections and platinum blonde weaves to be my competition but good to know you appreciate that look. There is someone for everyone I guess.

square1

I have been with my H for 12 years and i knew he viewed porn sometimes and i had no problem with it as long as he didnt lie to me about it. We even watched it together a few times. Then within the last year porn replaced the intimacy and sex in our relationship. We didn't kiss, no touching, barely any sex and it wasn't like I wasnt trying either cause i wanted some ****. But he was viewing porn so much and masturbating all the time he didn't have any sex drive when it came to fulfilling my needs and wants. If it were up to me we would be banging each other like once a day.

Personally i don't get it and it does nothing for me.
Porn +hand versus soft warm woman+ many positions<--sounds like a toughy to me

So can porn have a place in a relationship? I say yes as long as both partners are getting what they need from each other and neither has an objection to it. If one has any negative feelings about it they should discuss it with their partner and why they feel that way.

tacoma

Porn is no different than anything else.

I truthfully believe more harm is done by making it taboo in a relationship .

Intimate relationships can be so difficult to begin with, making average porn viewing a sin is just asking for Ill will resentment and unnecessary stress over what is often nothing more than misplaced insecurities.
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that_girl

I guess it all comes down to secrecy and lying about it.

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square1

Can I get a definition for this please? What is considered average?

tacoma

Sure, any porn viewing that doesn't go beyond a simple stimulus into obsession.

While the op goes a little too far by stating "all" men do it she isn't far from the mark.

Most men do view it and it would be difficult to argue that most men have a problem with it.
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trey69

"Porn-not the end of the world."

You're right, its not the end of the world for some men to not care that much about it.

Thankfully I'm one one of those. I have had my share in my life time, and IMO it got to the point to where you seen one you seen them all. I find them to be boring and would prefer to look at my wife, a real human being any day.

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"When people are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, that's when they will make a change."

misticli

Thank you everyone for your responses. I agree with above, I feel a lot of women are honest upfront and tell their husband they do not accept porn. The men then feel they have to lie about viewing it to save their marriage.

No, I do not believe a man when he says he has not watched porn. The key word being has, as I do agree that not all men are habitual porn watchers.

misticli

Okay, so because a wife says "I love Brad Pitt, I watch all his movies, and if he wanted me I would sleep with him" that makes her lame and not faithful? We are visually attracted to other people, but in reality they are a fantasy and not something that would ever be considered in reality. The problem comes when you are not having enough sex in your relationship and he turns to porn use all the time instead of having intimacy he is denied with you.