Advice about wife's fantasy
This is my first time posting on this forum, but something has come up in my marriage that I just can't let go.
My wife and I have been married for almost 11 years and, in almost all respects, we have a very happy and successful marriage. But before we got married my wife told me a lot about her sexual history, including past threesomes. This has always bothered me, but I know that I should have let it go.
So I have been working on it. I have been taking better care of myself and trying to open up more to her, to get her to talk about our sexual relationship. About a month ago, we were out of town and started talking a lot and the past threesomes came up and she started crying because she didn't know that I knew about them because she was drunk when she told me. She is not happy about it and I let it go. But some other things were said that I interpretted as "we need to spice things up". So I have been working on that also, but unfortunately my wife is of the mind, "what is up with your sex drive? Where are all these fantasies coming from? Are you having an affair".
Last week I divulged another fantasy of us making love, and asked her to tell me one. She was shy, and then said that she fantasized about have a threesome, with some other guy's **** in her mouth, while we are making love. This blew me away, because, well, I am just not ready for that. I have been thinking about it and it just doesn't seem like a good idea.
Is what she said out of line? Would others feel free to say this to their partners? I mean, I would never start out with, "I am fantasizing about licking another woman while we are making love." Other statements have been made by her. For example, "It's just more exciting at first when you start dating."
I really want to work with her and spice things up, but is she trying to drop a hint? Should I just ask her straight up?