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Anti anxiety/depression meds with less sexual side effects?

6K views 44 replies 23 participants last post by  Dallow Spicer 
#1 ·
DH has a very, very stressful job, and he has been on stress reducing meds (probably the wrong word) for nearly 20 years. (Celexa) It makes him have very little desire, and have a numbing effect on his feelings in his d0ng.

I finally had researched his med, and it was pretty much what everyone said, and many said they switched to with great success. He was 100% for trying that. (Wellbutrin)

The first couple weeks were ok, but then his drive started to return and so did his responsiveness to touch. It was fabulous! I was thrilled! So was he! BUT, it was failing him in helping to keep his stress/anger under control, and it makes him very dizzy. So he wants to go back on his other med (which upsets me) but I am trying to be understanding. I don't mind him changing, I just would like him to try something else, and I think he would be willing.

We already have a call into his Dr, but I would like to know if any of you use something else that has less sexual side effects?

Thanks!
 
#2 ·
We already have a call into his Dr, but I would like to know if any of you use something else that has less sexual side effects?

Thanks!
I'm no expert on this as I do not have experience with anxiety/depression meds. But I would advise the following:

1) Advocate your husband buy a nice set of headphones (expensive noise canceling ones), and get him a subscription to a premium online audio service such as Spotify. Music will work wonders for most people's moods!

2) Try to get his to establish an exercise routine that he can enjoy and meditate while he burns calories (suggestion number one helps with this suggestion). Exercise works wonders on stress/anxiety and improves libido.

3) Research foods such as pineapple for reducing inflammation and bananas for regulating anxiety.

Banana Natural Beta Blocker for Anxiety - Health Extremist

Hope that helps!

Badsanta
 
#4 ·
We already have a call into his Dr, but I would like to know if any of you use something else that has less sexual side effects?
The call is to set up an appointment to discuss side effects, right? And not just for an RX for the previous med.

Different class of drug but my wife had similar side effects (ok, not a numb dong) and when she told the doc he said that gave hime some good info to work with. Still took a bit of trial and error to find something that worked but with minimal side effects.
 
#6 ·
I have been taking SSRI'S for 7 years now and I have been down the path of seeking something with less sexual side effects for awhile now. Here's what I've learned. My disclaimer is that I am not a doctor. This is just my experience.

1. Google will tell you that Wellbutrin is the go-to depression med with the least sexual side effects. This may be true. It does not work for everyone, though. My own doctor told me that there are two main types of depression medications. SSRI (zoloft, prozac, etc), and NDRI (wellbutrin, etc). Each affects brain chemistry differently. It is my doctors opinion (educated medical professional) that for some people the SSRI is more effective and for others the NDRI is more effective. I am unfortunately in the camp where SSRI seems to be the only thing that works for me, and that class of drug is known for its sexual dampening. Wellbutrin is not an option for me for that reason.

2. When I first started taking medication, I tried many different brands and types with varying levels of success. There is one universal constant - ALL of them have side effects of some kind. What he will need to do is his own gut check - how badly does he need the medication, what is his base line without it? How many side effects is he willing to put up with to get relief from his mental state? I sank so low that I was in full breakdown before I caved in, saw a doctor and got on medication. That was 7 years ago, and I still vividly remember what it felt like and do not EVER want to feel that way again. If someone told me I had to go into a coma for 6 months to free myself from how I felt then, I would have done it. So the side effects of these meds are comparatively a drop in the bucket for me when I think about how I feel without the medication. That can be hard for a spouse or someone else who isn't living with the mental illness to understand. I've heard that you can forget how the illness feels after awhile and then the side effects get on your nerves. I have not gotten to that point yet.

3. He can work with his doctor to change his dosage or switch to a different medication. On SSRI it has been my experience that the greater the dose that you take, the more intense the side effects are. When I first began taking them I was on quite a high dose and I could not O at all, for example. I have since tapered down to 1/4 of what I was taking at that time and I'm pretty close to "normal" pre-mecication days in my sexual response. I tried going to a lower dose and all of a sudden my illness was out of control again. It seems that there is a magic threshold in which the meds are either too low of a dose to be effective against the illness, or too high and making you "numb" so to speak. That threshold is different for every person and he has to work with his doctor to figure out what his is. It is double the frustration to change med dosages or brands because it takes at least 8-12 weeks before you can truly judge whether the new med is working for you. And that "change" period can be very rocky. I have had lots of break through symptoms (panic attacks and suicidal thoughts) when I mess with my dosing, so it takes a lot of strength for me to get through the initial 8-12 weeks waiting and hoping for the day when I'll level off again. That is something I also weigh when I think about messing with my meds...is it worth it compared to what I'll have to endure in the short term?

4. My personal recommendation for those who need to be medicated to treat depression or anxiety is to first simplify your life as much as possible. That's easier said than done. It's taken me years to get to the point where I make sure I do things to set myself up to succeed rather than fail. Then combine that with the absolute lowest dose of medication that you can take to give you relief and competent and frequent visits with a good doctor. I see my doctor every 3 months and that allows her to know me well enough to be able to talk about how I am doing on a more candid level.

Hope this helps.
 
#7 ·
Exceptional answer, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the effort and time you put in to answer this. I am happy you have it mostly under control. I agree that it is hard for the spouse without the issue to understand. I try really hard to be empathetic. I also try to support him any way I can. My XH (20 yr marriage) had very severe emotional and depression problems, so I have lived as a partner to that my entire adult life. His was all day, every day. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you wrote. My DH is very different in that it is very much stress related, which eventually boils over into him getting very upset. Then it passes and he is fine. He is in general a very happy person. When he hits that level, I want to run for cover till he chills back out though.

I would love for him to be able to change professions, but our goals are set, have been forever and we are on schedule to retire at about 50. At the end of the day we feel that his stress hopefully will be worth it if we can retire super early (basically as soon as our nest is empty). I always tell him though, if he can't hack it anymore, I am always willing to adjust to do whatever we need to do. Thanks again honey!!!
 
#8 ·
Every single ssri I've ever taken has taken away my ability to orgasm. :( but I also get every single other side effect there is as well.

The only one with no sexual side effects for me is also Wellbutrin. But I also have anxiety. The last time I went on Wellbutrin, I ended up in the bathtub after having to take 3 Ativan to come down from the MASSIVE panic attack I had for. Wellbutrin. (It can make anxiety worse) I was having visions of blowing my brains out and I was afraid I was going to snap my children's necks. I had no thought or intent of getting close to them and hurting them, but I had this insane fear that if I were to hug them, I would squeeze too tightly and literally break their necks. I took 3 Ativan and locked myself in the bathroom. Told j what was going on and to not let me around the kids or unsupervised until I was sure the Ativan kicked in. It was THE single most terrifying hour of my life! I will NEVER take Wellbutrin again. Funny thing was, I'd taken it 7 years prior and it worked wonderfully. But I didn't have anxiety then either.
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#9 ·
Every single ssri I've ever taken has taken away my ability to orgasm. :( but I also get every single other side effect there is as well.



The only one with no sexual side effects for me is also Wellbutrin. But I also have anxiety. The last time I went on Wellbutrin, I ended up in the bathtub after having to take 3 Ativan to come down from the MASSIVE panic attack I had for. Wellbutrin. (It can make anxiety worse) I was having visions of blowing my brains out and I was afraid I was going to snap my children's necks. I had no thought or intent of getting close to them and hurting them, but I had this insane fear that if I were to hug them, I would squeeze too tightly and literally break their necks. I took 3 Ativan and locked myself in the bathroom. Told j what was going on and to not let me around the kids or unsupervised until I was sure the Ativan kicked in. It was THE single most terrifying hour of my life! I will NEVER take Wellbutrin again. Funny thing was, I'd taken it 7 years prior and it worked wonderfully. But I didn't have anxiety then either.
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I agree that Wellbutrin minimizes sexual side effects and then didn't work for me. I am on Vibryd now, (SSRI) and have no side effects at all. It's great on depression and Anxiety.


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#10 ·
I took zoloft for about two years for anxiety (woman related). I was concerned about the sexual side effects for guys (doc gave me viagra to counter it). My IC and others mentioned wellbutrin so my doctor switched me over purely at my request, to see what happens. W does not have the same side effect.

The problem is that they do not work the same. Z works on serotonin. W works on dopamine. Z is better for anxiety while W is better for depression.

I tried W for a couple of weeks, 300 mg daily, single 24 our dose, and i made me dizzy so I stopped. I thought the side effect was all in my head (pun intended) but it was not. I thought maybe something else was causing the dizziness but once I stopped the W I did not take anything else and the dizziness went away too. I don't want any woman to have such a hold on me that I need to take drugs anymore.

One of my TAM buddies tried Z but had bad side effects (not the sex ones). He switched to W and then the doctor added some clonazepam. He said it was helping a lot.

Good luck.
 
#11 ·
Have his testosterone levels been checked? Stress can make T decline and when my husband was low he was similar to what you describe. Now that his levels are in a healthy range, the depression and irritability are gone even though he still has the stress.

I also read a book called the Mood Cure which is excellent. That is where I found out about taking GABA (supplement) for anxiety. It works beautifully.

Hope you find answers soon.
 
#12 ·
Have his testosterone levels been checked? Stress can make T decline and when my husband was low he was similar to what you describe. Now that his levels are in a healthy range, the depression and irritability are gone even though he still has the stress.
Yes, very much. My doctor said I levels drop when stressed and that leads into the sexual side effects.

For the benefit of OP (and me) what did your H do to up his levels?
 
#16 ·
It doesn't necessarily have to be an SSRI or else Welbutin. Some people take both. Perhaps a lesser dose of Celexa plus a lesser dose of Welbutrin.

Lexapro is an isomer of Celexa. It may be it could help him similarly but without the same side-effects.

What was his dose of each med he tried. His dose my be unnecessarily high.

Meds are not cures. He should put effort into talk therapy while the meds give him some capacity to do so. He should also see a psychiatrist that has treated many many people with a variety of meds.

I weaned myself off Lexapro having taken some sort of AD for over a decade. Never decreased my libido. Effexor delayed orgasm when I first tried it, but that effect faded as I recall.

If anxiety is a big factor, an SSRI isn't the only option or even the most direct class of drugs to address it as far as I know. I fear benzos and would never take such. But, a beta blocker might help.

Other SSRIs flush out of the system quicker than Celexa. I've heard of people taking Prozac during the week but stopping as the weeken approaches so the sexual side effects are lessened for, you know....
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#27 ·
If anxiety is a big factor, an SSRI isn't the only option or even the most direct class of drugs to address it as far as I know. I fear benzos and would never take such. But, a beta blocker might help.
Interesting you mention that. I am taking a beta blocker for migraine prevention but I have not had any heart palpitation since I got on it and now even when something freaks me out, like wild animal sounds when you are hammock camping in the pitch dark forest with little kids, I don't go into panic mode.
 
#17 ·
Check out the book "Depression Free Naturally". It is not a nut job book about essential oils or healing powers of crystals. It is written by a doctor and contains her protocols and methods she uses to help people deal with depression.

I think I am going to start going through it with my wife as things are just going really badly with her medications and still being horribly depressed and anxious.
 
#18 · (Edited)
Did he quit the SSRI suddenly, or did he taper off?

Did he start at a full dose of Welbutrin, or did he slowly ramp up?

Lexapro (and I'd guess Celexa since they are similar) have a reputation in some circles of being difficult to quit without slowly tapering.

I suppose some of what he experienced could have been symptoms of withdraw or or starting up too quickly.

There is a website focused on trouble folks have getting off these things.... If I recall the name , I will post it.

It sounds like he would do well to learn to manage his stress and find better ways to cope. I enjoy the podcast called "A Quiet Mind."
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That site is http://survivingantidepressants.org
 
#22 ·
I am very knowledgeable about pharma, personally and professionally. So i thought i am smart enough to cold turkey quit zoloft, an SSRI, even though i read the warnings.

Wow. That was a mistake. I took me about a month to slowly tapered off. Never quit these or switch unless directed by a doctor.
 
#20 ·
Honestly, if his anxiety is causing occasional angry outbursts, he might benefit as much or more from therapy than from medications. What is he doing to learn to manage his anger? Perhaps when he feels his stress levels ramping up, he needs to meditate, exercise more, or use some sort of aversion therapy to keep himself from raging? Anger management techniques could be very helpful.

My son's stress levels cause anxiety, which leads him to be depressed. Rather than medications, his doctor prescribed more regular meal times than teen boys usually stick to so that his blood sugar isn't ever low, a healthy dose of exercise every day, and therapy. His therapist has been teaching him relaxation techniques, coping skills, etc. so that he's better managing his stress. Thus, he gets less anxious and winds up depressed less often. Something similar might benefit your husband.
 
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#21 ·
My wife takes both Lexapro and Wellbutrin. As POS says, Celexa and Lexapro are nearly identical. In fact Lexapro is part of Celexa. Celexa is two chemicals, one a mirror image of the other. Lexapro is just one of the images, the more active chemical.

If H is still taking Celexa, talk to your doctor about switch to Lexapro. Celexa has additional risks to QT prolongation, meaning it can affect the heart. My wife has that predisposition.

The dose for Lexapro is half that of Celexa, so he might be able to get same benefits with less impact on his sex drive.

What dosage Celexa was he taking?
 
#23 ·
4 years ago, I started taking Celexa. I was going through a pretty hard time dealing with my father and sister being sick at the same time. My father had bladder cancer and we lost him over 3 years ago. My sister is now a breast cancer survivor. Anyways, Celexa completely took away my ability to orgasm. It was awful. I stopped taking it about 6 months in and never asked for anything else.

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#25 ·
DH has a very, very stressful job, and he has been on stress reducing meds (probably the wrong word) for nearly 20 years. (Celexa) It makes him have very little desire, and have a numbing effect on his feelings in his d0ng.
According to Mayo Clinic and my experience, these are your choices for antidepressants with fewer (or no, sexual side effects).
Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Aplenzin, Forfivo XL)
Mirtazapine (Remeron)
Vilazodone (Viibryd)
Flibanserin (Addyi)

I have personal experience with some SSRIs. I have seen Viibryd work well at treating depression without the sexual side effects. And, if you try Viibryd, go to the company's website, they have a coupon for the first year. I have no knowledge of Remeron.

Antidepressants: Which cause the fewest sexual side effects? - Mayo Clinic

Also, there is another SSRI that has no sexual side-effects -- Addyi. This will be very difficult for a man to get, and it will be VERY expensive, but possible. This is the only SSRI that might increase libido and treat depression, but everyone responds differently to these meds, so take everything I write with a grain of salt and talk to a good doctor. Finding a good anti-depressant is usually a long/slow process of trial and error. Some drugs have a bad withdrawal period, so ask about that upfront.
 
#26 ·
According to Mayo Clinic and my experience, these are your choices for antidepressants with fewer (or no, sexual side effects).

Bupropion (Wellbutrin, Aplenzin, Forfivo XL)

Mirtazapine (Remeron)

Vilazodone (Viibryd)
.


I was prescribed mirtazapine as a sleep aid. It worked. But my appetite was voracious. Constantly hungry and always wanted to eat. It is a known side effect.
 
#30 ·
My wife is taking buspirone and I think it helps quite a bit with anxiety. She likes it. It is not a benzo which are very dangerous and risky according to some.

She takes it as well as Wellbutrin.

It's a complex situation, but I've seen signs that combination seems to not interfere with her achieving orgasm, whereas when on Lexapro, Celexa, or a couple of other SSRIs, it was impossible. Broad arc of time. Many variables. And somewhat hearsay... But consistent with what others report.
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#31 ·
My beta blocker might have helped me with social anxiety. Or, maybe it's just getting older. I suspect it's both. Good thing I developed hypertension (that's why it was prescribed). ;)
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#40 ·
So he wants to go back on his other med (which upsets me) but I am trying to be understanding. I don't mind him changing, I just would like him to try something else, and I think he would be willing.

We already have a call into his Dr, but I would like to know if any of you use something else that has less sexual side effects?

Thanks!
The great US disaster - rather than fix the problem, sell them something to mask the symptoms.

The problem is from the way he works and puts pressure on himself - it's like an athlete with bad form in the gym. Rather than train better he's been taking pain killers and other stuff to mask the problem so he can keep doing things badly.
This results in him never having to improve his form, or even developing proper coping methods for handling the stress.

If he changes his meds, then he'll have to change how he manages other parts of his life. He could take his old "dumb down pills" and charge on and go back to neglecting his life; or he could work out what's making him ill and deal with that in a better smarter way.

Personally I really dislike citalopram[aka celexa] (even one tablet gives me massive seizures) and it slaughters the libido, and significant removes compassion/humanity from my psyche. so I understand how some folks would find it a really great crutch if they're dealing with human issues on a daily basis. So it is important to see what is truly affecting his emotional state before looking at alternatives.
For anxiety/depression, a starter is the "green option": moderate exercise, preferrably in casual team/supportive environment, good amount of water (or tea with honey), no alcohol at least 6 days a week, no "energy" drinks (they're killers), reduce coffee consumption (max 1 cup of coffee a day, no colas), dry house with good light levels, clean clothing, get out of the house/office at least 3 times a week, keep away from visual electronic gadgets and social media (they're serotonin minefields), dry bed & bedding, don't buy into obvious family or friends issues. Get rid of any project or financial parasites that just hang around his neck.
On top of that, a little more odd ball; B12 oral double dose morning and night (that's 4 times daily rec) or get injectable from doctor. Zinc suppliment (as per bottle). With occasional vit C tablets average strength. Also see that diet has good folate levels, or get a B-vit multi with a high folate level. (folate + b12 results in happiness endorphin release in the brain; the post alcohol euphoria just before the hangover is actually the result of the B12 released by the liver in response to processing alcohol, and the crash into the hangover is the B12 being scavenged back up by the body/liver).
If sleeping is a problem, an occasional paracetamol just before sleep can help, or if staying asleep through the night is a problem (often a cause with stress/anxiety as it often hits in the small hours of the morning) then see if the doctor can check out whether a very small dose amitriptyline will be appropriate.

Beyond that it's a little difficult to make a guess at what's driving the stress/depression/anxiety. eg the A. is a good pill but is best against a mind that constantly obsesses, but if the problem is compassionate or stress related to his work then the C. gives a "mental armour" effect which can aid in aggression or ambition. (which is the opposite to fluoxetine which "levels out" the stress and pretty much kills ambition, or any worry about it, until the person just flpis out)
 
#42 ·
Effexor XR has the same mechanism of action as Wellbutrin and may be worth a try. Even in the same drug class, there are real therapeutic differences. Don't forget an oldie, Elavil... been on the market a long time and good for a once-a-day bedtime dose (after said activity). Like someone mentioned, trial and error. Wouldn't go back to Celexa as there are too many other options now.
 
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