Herpes Impacting the Marriage - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

User Tag List

 35Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 10:33 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 871
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

Sfpa,

Given that you have been with your W 24 years, relationship and marriage, I find it difficult to believe your W contracted the herpes before the relationship with you.

Did you consider getting a polygraph for your W to determine that she did not cheat on you?

Are you able to look at phone records and etc.?

She seems to have lost respect for you if she is willing to expose you to the virus without a second thought. Often times even though the affair ends the wayward spouse never again loves the betrayed spouse the way she did before the affair.

Tamat
TAMAT is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 10:56 AM
Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 82
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

Dude she cheated on you within the past few years, got herpes and doesn't care one bit about you or the affect it might have on your life.
silex is offline  
post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 12:19 PM
Member
 
Chris Taylor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,526
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

While symptoms of HSV-2 can not show for a long time, the "usual" time between infection and symptoms is two weeks. I have to agree with @silex that she probably cheated on you and now doesn't give a sh!t about you.

Sorry.
Chris Taylor is offline  
post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 01:27 PM
Forum Supporter
 
Satya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,398
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Livvie View Post
I don't completely agree that the dating pool for a man in his fifties looking for a woman in her mid thirties is automatically terribly huge. That's a 16 year age difference.
This. Be careful guys. It's possible to find many younger women, but most women in their 30s wanting children are extremely aware that older fathers can increase the risk of passing on genetic disease.

Not only that, but sperm motility, number, and normality decrease with age as well. IVF has got to be a strong consideration in this case.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
Satya is offline  
post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 02:46 PM
Member
 
MissScarlett's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,161
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

One in four women test positive for the herpes virus. Not everyone that is exposed has a breakout. Or they can have mild breakouts that are assumed to be yeast infections or some other irritation. A woman's body changes so much over time. The virus can lie dormant for many years and then peri menopause, the skin thinning, middle age stressors can bring it out.

I'm in my late 40s and have several friends with the herpes virus. One had been with a teenage boyfriend and then married her husband. Her husband hadn't been with anyone else. She was 7 months pregnant and had an outbreak out of the blue.

If you've had sex with anyone who's had sex with anyone you probably already were exposed. You just didn't have any tear or break in your skin to let the virus in.

Having said all that if you are unhappy with your marriage then end your marriage. Find someone to have a baby with, require the blood tests that will make you comfortable, whatever it is. If you are that unhappy you aren't doing her any favors pretending that you are not.

If you do what you've always done - you'll get what you've always gotten.
MissScarlett is offline  
post #21 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 03:17 PM
Member
 
MissScarlett's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,161
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

And really, it's no wonder suicidal thoughts and attempts are common after a herpes diagnosis. The social stigma is probably even worse than AIDS at this point. AIDS seems to garner sympathy in any case and it's ok to be out with your HIV and date others who are the same status.

Herpes is like the worst thing that can happen to someone as far as Americans are concerned. We would need a society where one virgin could only be with one virgin to stop it.

If you do what you've always done - you'll get what you've always gotten.
MissScarlett is offline  
post #22 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-15-2016, 08:40 PM
Member
 
TaDor's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 1,246
Re: Herpes Impacting the Marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by Livvie View Post
I don't completely agree that the dating pool for a man in his fifties looking for a woman in her mid thirties is automatically terribly huge. That's a 16 year age difference.
I didn't say it was huge. I was come up with a general age in order for him to have a healthy child.
- One of my good friends is 65 years old, and dates women from age 22~45 or so. He's that good... older than me, and getting younger chicks than my wife.
- When my mom was about 25, her long term boyfriend was 55years old. 40 years later, she still misses him.
- I was 40 when I meet my future wife when she was 25 - six years ago. I am playing with our 2 year old while I'm typing this. At 46, I had started dating again when my wife cheated on me and we broke up (I say wife, because its easier to say - even thou we are no longer married) - I had some fun with a 28yr old, had eyes from a drunken 22yr old. Was dating a 33yr old. I had my freedom, but I wanted my wife, mother of my son - back more than easy / NSA sex.

The OP sacrificed having children for love with his wife. He gets points for that. Hell, my wife wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant and it was a high-risk pregnancy in which we almost lost him.

Larry King is having kids in his 80s... I think.

So, if you're a 51yr old male. Decent looks and steady personality and income. He can be attractive to women generally, age 33+... if the goal is to have a solid relationship and have a child. Each year over 30, the woman's biological clock is ticking down (higher risk of birth defects or viable births). A women in her early 30s, motherless - are aware of the childbearing years coming to an end... so they may be on the lookout for a good-father type male, especially someone who is dedicated to the family. But if he has Herpes, the number of available women that may say YES to dating him, and having children would be severely reduced... could be around 1/10 ~ 1/20th.

So if he meets a woman at age 33 in which they have common interests and personality compatibility. That gives them a year or so to see if they have a healthy relationship, want children... choose to get married if they want to (not required for pregnancy) and give birth within 2-3 years of meeting. But since he's been in a relationship for almost half his life, he should do NSA dating/sex for several months to work out kinks in what is compatible and to not be desperate, so alone can take 1~3 years to sort out.

I gotta go... a diaper to change. He's like a mini-me, 1/10th my mass.
TaDor is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Is my marriage finished? There is something seriously wrong. marriagetalk General Relationship Discussion 34 06-17-2016 06:16 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome