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Had phone sex... with my wife. Questions...

7K views 14 replies 11 participants last post by  Capricious 
#1 ·
Last night my wife and I were apart, and she, being normally quite reserved, was messaging me on Snapchat.

Next thing you know, we were lightly flirting and she mentioned to me a certain fantasy of hers, I started throwing in a few kinky extras, which she wholeheartedly embraced and next thing you know we are full on having Snapchat sex.

She has never really been into this, and only said she felt awkward. However, this time was completely different, and we had a great time.

Her fantasies were more than I expected. Should I read into this that she might be into these things, or just let it go as a passing glimmer? If she were into it I'd be all about it, but in all of your collective experiences what is the line between fantasy and reality when it comes to a woman's imagination?


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#5 ·
Ask her. For me fantasies are just that, wishful thinking. I would not want them in my everyday life and would not know what to do with them in my everyday life.

So, when things are a bit hot between the two of you, ask her. Babe, you know that thing, do you want to really happen or it's just play. Don't come off as judging and watch your tone when you ask her.
 
#8 ·
Are you hinting that one of your wife's fantasies involved being "directed" ...like being sexually dominated?

Some fantasies are things that turn us on when we think about them but we would never want to experience them in real life.

Some fantasies are things that could be explored in real life but timidity and doubt prevent us from experiencing them.

Only your wife can determine which situation fits which fantasy.

I will say this from experience of fantasies of domination, the need to feel safe is absolutely paramount in being able to explore them outloud. Her first step was snap chat phone sex, a very safe step that appears to have gone well. She may need to experience this a few times before she feels safe enough to want to take another step.

I suggest you simply tell her how exciting that was for you and how much you'd enjoy doing that again. Then let it go and let her decide if she wants a repeat or another step.

I will caution you that domination has a very wide range of acceptable and those new to the "dungeon" should be cautious to slowly learn each other's comfort level.
 
#10 ·
Are you hinting that one of your wife's fantasies involved being "directed" ...like being sexually dominated?



Some fantasies are things that turn us on when we think about them but we would never want to experience them in real life.



Some fantasies are things that could be explored in real life but timidity and doubt prevent us from experiencing them.



Only your wife can determine which situation fits which fantasy.



I will say this from experience of fantasies of domination, the need to feel safe is absolutely paramount in being able to explore them outloud. Her first step was snap chat phone sex, a very safe step that appears to have gone well. She may need to experience this a few times before she feels safe enough to want to take another step.



I suggest you simply tell her how exciting that was for you and how much you'd enjoy doing that again. Then let it go and let her decide if she wants a repeat or another step.



I will caution you that domination has a very wide range of acceptable and those new to the "dungeon" should be cautious to slowly learn each other's comfort level.


No, you misunderstood. Honestly she loves light domination when we're having sex... physically not verbally.

This was a fantasy in which we had sex on the beach and other people were watching. She seemed to love the idea, during our playing around.


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