Re: My husband doesn't like to initiate.
Do you guide him when he is going slowly, like taking a hand, looking into his eyes and as you move it to where you want it saying something like, "Please put your hand here, now", etc.?
Have you talked about what sex meant in his family/religion? Was it taboo? Did he have a past experience or partner who's influence shaded his views of sex? Was he shamed for exploring sex or was someone close to him punished? It might provide some insight.
Do you talk to him and give him feedback when he is doing something sexually, that you do like (regardless of who has initiated it)? I initiate more than my DH does (he is always tired due to a sleep disorder) but I find that my DH will initiate more often when I've been good about telling him what I like. I mean simple things like, "Oh, I really like it when you XXX", "Yes, that feels good", etc. and then, when not in the moment, if I bring it up to him and say something like, "Honey, when you did X the other night, it was amazing! I love you so much" then he feels good about his ability to make me feel fantastic and reinforces that I enjoy it. It works for other things, as well, like, "WOW, when I walked in and found you doing the dishes the other night, it was the SEXIEST thing I've seen in a long time! I just wanted to wrap my arms around you and smother you with kisses! I feel so loved when you do those chores that I hate".... Honest, it helps a lot not only with getting more help with the chores but also it helps his self esteem and shows him I appreciate his efforts. And, for me, it is true - it was HOT! We are used to telling people and each other what we don't like but an unbalanced diet of that only serves to make people feel unloved and unappreciated. It's amazing how much good positive feedback can do.
And for a little personal background: My DH and I had been married for several years before I REALLY believed, in the core of my being, that he loved me and that he wasn't going to suddenly realize he'd made a mistake and go find someone who was worthy of him as I clearly felt I was not. It was nothing he did to make me think that. He loved me. He would look me in the eye and tell me I was beautiful and that he would keep telling me until I finally believed him. He was wonderful. I just came with baggage that I couldn't unravel on my own, part of which said, "a man can love you and still leave you" (Thanks, Daddy). I did some counseling and we did some couples therapy not because we were falling apart, but because we knew it could get better and we loved each other so much. So, I think I have a little inkling as to where your beloved is coming from. I still deal with some of those issues and I still feel guilty or bad when I need extra "attention" from my DH to reach climax, etc. despite his honest reassurance that he loves to make me feel good and it isn't an issue for him. It's a process and it is worth working through.
The good new is that I distinctly remember the moment when I fully realized that he did/does love me and I really got it: we were making love and I had an amazing orgasm and began crying because at the moment of climax I had the epiphany and I felt it throughout my being, he loved me and he would not leave me for another and he would not wake up realizing anything other than his love for me... we've been together 15 years and are like newly weds. We are the loves of each other's lives and love each other more every day. There is hope.