Re: Getting my nice guy husband on board with my fantasy...
I have an idea to help with your problem.
With an old GF we played a game a few times, where she would try and stop me from doing something. Before I say any more I want to make clear that this was a game, not a 'rape fantasy'. She always smiled and laughed throughout. In fact once she tried to act more unwilling and I was unable to carry on, even though I knew it was an act. Other posters are probably right in saying that it is deeply entrenched in most guys psychology that we won't ever do anything like that. In fact from that experience (with her acting like she wasn't enjoying it / acting like I was genuinely trying to force myself on her) I was pretty shaken up for a couple of day afterwards.
But on to the fun stuff:
She could do things half heartedly, like trying to cover herself up with her hands which could easily be pulled away and pinned down. She would also do things like roll onto her front, allowing me to spank her as a punishment and allowing access to her back and the back of her neck, places that I could be rough with her and not hurt her at all.
Other things she did were to clamp her legs together when I was doing things so I had to force them apart (by being rough and prising them apart or by a punishment like a spank or a pinched nipple)
Once she was wearing a tight t-shirt, and by taking it only half off it left her arms trapped behind her. This is a more subtle way of tying someone up without scaring them by getting out the handcuffs! You could do this to yourself and then tell him he's in charge because you're all tied up. Basically you just pull the body of the shirt over your head but leave your arms in the sleeves, then lie down on your back so the shirt is underneath you and your arms are quite constrained. Long sleeves works best.
Go to a really cheap shop and buy a cheap t-shirt or blouse. Tell him you're doing this, and tell him that you want him to rip it off you. If you're using a t-shirt you might have to cut through the seams unless your man is stronger than I am. Being ripped out of your clothes feels rougher, and is especially good if you get turned on by sexy scenes in films. It will also make him feel much more dominant and into whatever you do next by stroking his ego and getting the testosterone flowing!
Refuse to lie down. For example if you start things off elsewhere and let him lead you up to the bedroom and get undressed, but when it comes to getting into bed a simple 'make me' said with a grin on your face might work wonders. At the very least he will probably throw you down on the bed which is a good start!
Hope these ideas help you or anyone else. Basically to start off with to ease him into it maintain an atmosphere of you being naughty by not complying. By keeping a smile on your face you let him know that you really do it want it, but you're not going to make it easy for him. Let him punish you for being non-compliant and afterwards tell him what you enjoyed. Work things up from there.
One piece of advice, once he is inside you, you can wriggle a bit but don't try and force him out, either by using your muscles or by lifting your hips off the bed. This is a likely way to end up with tearing for you or a broken penis for him!
Instead it is much better to suggest changing position and then not letting him back in!