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Let's start with this. You come here asking for help. And then your last paragraph is basically a rude attack on many of the very people you are asking help from? Really?Oh......just as a side note....when ladies say "i'm not getting any at home".....do you mean your husbands or boyfriends are actually refusing you and saying "NO" to sex.....or do you mean your husbands or boyfriends have, for some reason or another, stopped initiating sex, and being that most women don't seem to like initiating it, they find themselves in a sexless marriage/relationship........it would be interesting to hear your views on that too ladies.!!!:scratchhead::scratchhead::scratchhead:
Here. Fixed it for you...You won't get it if you don't ask for it.
Years ago, when the problem started, did you talk to her about this? If so how often?"You shoot yourself in the foot when you stop being affectionate and stop initiating sex because you want your spouse to do it. How'd that work out for you?"...........It didn't......but i don't want my wife to do the running - i just want her to show a spark of interest - just a 1% input - i will gladly do the rest.......
Well, it’s not true that men are always ready for sex and women always only have responsive desire. You and your wife might be like this.But then again, it maybe a case of the same old story - The man is always ready for sex - but the woman isn't feeling sexy until she is actually having sex......
No, women do not feel like that most of the time. Women are all individuals. We are each individuals.I try to put myself in the woman's situation - and i think a good way for men to do this is the feeling after a man orgasms the last thing on his mind - is sex!......so, i would say to men, that feeling is probably how women feel most of the time.....would i be right!!!
This ^ Especially the bolded.You're almost right.
A woman, such as you wife, with responsive desire doesn't want sex unless she feels aroused. She doesn't feel aroused until she is sexually engaged. Therefore she doesn't have a desire for sex until she is sexually engaged.
It would be like you not thinking about or wanting sex until you had an erection. So how are you going to get that erection?
More often, men have spontaneous desire. They think about sex and then they want sex. A woman with responsive desire doesn't want sex unless she is aroused.
Without regular affection, how would your wife become aroused?
Add to this, your wife is too timid to initiate affection or sex, so even those times she wanted affection, she was too timid to seek it.
Add to this, 40 years of her thinking you don't want her and that the only time you touch her is when you want sex. That's 40 years of her believing she married a man who doesn't want her, isn't passionate, isn't affectionate, and is not very loving. 40 years of her needs for affection and for contact and for attention going unmet.
You and your wife need to have many very honest conversations. MANY!
kissing your spouse has nothing to do with spontaneous or reponsive desire. It's simple affection. 40 years with no kissing? Really? That speaks volumes to me.3) In our 40 years of marriage she has never kissed me on her own accord.
The thing is, it's such nuances that make or break a case...Elegirl and AP--I think your advice is sound in 90% of this case, but this bothers me.
kissing your spouse has nothing to do with spontaneous or reponsive desire. It's simple affection. 40 years with no kissing? Really? That speaks volumes to me.
Why are you scared and crying? About getting no sex? Have you read No More Mr Nice Guy? I suggest you do. I strongly suggest you do.I'm scared, frightened.......angry.....crying alot......