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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:09 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by caruso View Post
Yeah well to me it's weird. I go out with my girl and I talk to her, not some strange woman in a bar that's probably really hot since she's a cam girl.
I actually think this is the bigger issue. Why is he chatting up other women while he is out with you, OP?
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post #17 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:17 PM Thread Starter
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Yeah well to me it's weird. I go out with my girl and I talk to her, not some strange woman in a bar that's probably really hot since she's a cam girl.
I actually think this is the bigger issue. Why is he chatting up other women while he is out with you, OP?
It's not like that. He actually thought she was a lesbian (very granola, not his type) and was just trying to talk politics with her while outside smoking. I was inside with friends. I joined him outside and he said, "she just told me she is a can girl!" Then he explained what that is because I said I didn't know. And here we are. We both like to talk to many different people while we are out with friends. Had this been a "date night" we would only be with each other.
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post #18 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:20 PM Thread Starter
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@WallaceBea

Except that's exactly what he did.

Are you reading the posts?

Specifically the part where they go out to a bar and he's "talking" with a cam girl?
My bet is that he knew that who she was going into the place. I don't think he's told his wife the 'whole truth'.

There is a way to find out.
It was my idea to go to that particular bar. He didn't know this woman prior. I only mentioned her because she is how the topic came up.
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post #19 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:30 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

Sorry, I don't buy it.

I know this is the new age, but some things are always wong.
that includes engaging with other women for sexual gratification whether shes naked or not.

unless he's a dumbell, at some level he knows this.

Or maybe he's just too brainwashed by this wonderful 'new age'.
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post #20 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:34 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

I am curious how would you ladies feel if it was a recording of a cam girl?
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post #21 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:35 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

I would keep an eye out to make sure he won't be looking that girl up.



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post #22 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:44 PM Thread Starter
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I am curious how would you ladies feel if it was a recording of a cam girl?
Recording vs live is a big difference for me, mainly because of the accessibility to engage personally. To him, it is just porn. The live factor doesn't influence him at all.
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post #23 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:45 PM Thread Starter
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I would keep an eye out to make sure he won't be looking that girl up.
Not worried about that at all. She is not someone he would be attracted to.
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post #24 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:46 PM Thread Starter
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I would keep an eye out to make sure he won't be looking that girl up.
Not worried about that at all. She is not someone he would be attracted to.
Although, I do wonder, and have not yet asked.... Would he look her up if he was attracted to her?
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post #25 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 07:49 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Recording vs live is a big difference for me, mainly because of the accessibility to engage personally. To him, it is just porn. The live factor doesn't influence him at all.

Do you believe him when he says he didn't engage and just watched?
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post #26 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 08:00 PM
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It's not like that. He actually thought she was a lesbian (very granola, not his type) and was just trying to talk politics with her while outside smoking. I was inside with friends. I joined him outside and he said, "she just told me she is a can girl!" Then he explained what that is because I said I didn't know. And here we are. We both like to talk to many different people while we are out with friends. Had this been a "date night" we would only be with each other.
Ok. So it sounds like you trust your husband. Other than this issue, has he done anything else to cause you to doubt? If not, I would chalk this up to a lack of communication between you guys. Some think it's cheating and others do not. Same can be said about strip clubs. Some people are ok with just looking some aren't, some are ok with lap dances and some aren't. I would sit down with your husband and go over all your boundaries with him. Have an open and honest conversation. Maybe ask him what it was about the cam girls that got him going. Take him at his word.
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post #27 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 08:03 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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I am curious how would you ladies feel if it was a recording of a cam girl?
How would you feel if, when you were not home, your wife was masturbating to live videos of men? And then you went to a bar where she’s chatting up some guy who does live cam videos?

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post #28 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 08:13 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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How would you feel if, when you were not home, your wife was masturbating to live videos of men? And then you went to a bar where she’s chatting up some guy who does live cam videos?
I don't know really if we were both talking with him and he wasn't attractive to her, I don't think I would care, if he looked like Brad Pitt maybe it would get to me a little. I don't know if you can tell but I have a healthy opinion of myself so I don't really get that jelous. I always feel like if she cheats her loss.

I don't care if she watches videos of guys, porn or cam guys if she doesn't interact. To me it's just fantasy. As long as I am the priority (and in real life it is only me!) People masturbate, it is what it is. Porn is not real. Interacting with a live person now that is a different thing. However VR is coming and when it gets to the point that it's 3D looks real and you can interact then what do we do? Then it is not even a real person. Really this isn't much different then imagining with your own mind, except it isn't. Strange world.

I guess what I am saying is it's not black and white. I get that people have urges. I think my wife lives more vicariously through books. I see it as just imagination. Now if she had an emotional relationship, I would ghost.
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post #29 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 08:22 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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I don't know really if we were both talking with him and he wasn't attractive to her, I don't think I would care, if he looked like Brad Pitt maybe it would get to me a little. I don't know if you can tell but I have a healthy opinion of myself so I don't really get that jelous. I always feel like if she cheats her loss.

I don't care if she watches videos of guys, porn or cam guys if she doesn't interact. To me it's just fantasy. As long as I am the priority (and in real life it is only me!) People masturbate, it is what it is. Porn is not real. Interacting with a live person now that is a different thing. However VR is coming and when it gets to the point that it's 3D looks real and you can interact then what do we do? Then it is not even a real person. Really this isn't much different then imagining with your own mind, except it isn't. Strange world.

I guess what I am saying is it's not black and white. I get that people have urges. I think my wife lives more vicariously through books. I see it as just imagination. Now if she had an emotional relationship, I would ghost.
Part of my issue is that I was married to a guy who over time turned to porn and the internet to the point that it was his only sexual outlet. In watching what he did (via key stroke tracker) I watched what he really did and what he told me he was doing. He admitted to about 10% of what he was really up to. I also watched as he was slowly sucked into all that stuff... how slowly he had to up the anty. I'm very familiar with what the online porn, cam and sex world is like and how it sucks people in. That's the goal of the people who run those sites.. to create long term paying customers and they know how to play with guys to suck them in.

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post #30 of 81 (permalink) Old 10-04-2016, 08:33 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Part of my issue is that I was married to a guy who over time turned to porn and the internet to the point that it was his only sexual outlet. In watching what he did (via key stroke tracker) I watched what he really did and what he told me he was doing. He admitted to about 10% of what he was really up to. I also watched as he was slowly sucked into all that stuff... how slowly he had to up the anty. I'm very familiar with what the online porn, cam and sex world is like and how it sucks people in. That's the goal of the people who run those sites.. to create long term paying customers and they know how to play with guys to suck them in.
OK and I agree if that was all she did and we never had sex then that would be a big issue. I don't think that what I am describing is that though. If she masturbated in the morning when I was asleep to blow off steam and she looked at porn to get off then I wouldn't care. As long as she was not hiding it. Hell I may even kind of like that. Again my thing is personal intimacy, whether emotional or physical, is reserved for either her with herself, or her and me. And it is sacred between the two of us. As long as there is no real life interaction and it is all in her head then more power to her.

Frankly after reading these sites if that is all she did, I would know I am lucky.

Last edited by sokillme; 10-04-2016 at 08:49 PM.
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