I'm sorry for the emotional pain that you are going through.
I'm also sorry that you have been told that it isn't cheating, that you should try to emulate the cam girls; so on and so forth.
I agree with you that it is cheating. From participating in these forums, I have come to realize that this is one of those, "there are two types of people in the world" issues.
IOW, there are two types of people in the world, those that think that porn is cheating, and those that don't think it is cheating.
^^^These two groups of people never see eye to eye.
No, he did not physically, technically, actually have contact with these cam women. But he experiences the emotional high and physical bliss with them that he would experience with you. The "naughty" aspect of using this type of "service", might make it even more exciting than being with you.
You're way ahead of me in feeling that "regular" porn is okay. I see regular porn as the first step.
My husband would have gone BALLISTIC if I had masturbated to naked pictures of other men, back when he was a porn user himself. That's how you know that they know that it's not okay and that it's a form of cheating.
I just wanted to hopefully comfort you a little with the reassurance that you are not alone. It's not like you are the most unattractive woman in the world, whose guy has to use porn to really get off; but the rest of us don't have that problem because our husbands love us so much.
Nope. Porn is ubiquitous at this point. And with the virtual reality technology that is being developed (already available somewhere I'm sure), it's going to get much, much worse. Or, "better" if you are a person who enjoys porn or makes money from it.