Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Hudson Valley, New York State
Re: Husband watches Cam Girls
To the OP
I am a middle aged male. Married for a while.
Sex is just sex. Love is not sex, and sex is not love. I've had sex with a lot of women I didn't love. I love a lot of people, past and present, who I would never have sex with, and some I do. I think our society screws people over by putting too much emotion into sex. Some day I won't be having much sex any more, but I'll still love my wife just as much.
Sometimes I look at the serial monogamists around me and wonder if they would have been better off if they had learned to forgive instead of jumping ship. And if the only reason their new spouse is so true to them is because they haven't been together very long yet.
Learning to forgive and move past the mistakes, either real or imagined, because both hurt, is important to maintaining a relationship. Unless the goal in life is just to stay together until something goes wrong, let it explode, and move on to the next opportunity.
The question is what is more important to you, sex or love? Only let sexual issues destroy love if you think sex is more important than love.
We invest sex with a power it should not have. It is a fun exercise, and maybe as important as food and drink to our well being, but it is no where near as important as love to our mental well being. We need to strip the mystique away from sex which gives it the power to control us. We should not be asexual. We are sexual beings. Like food and drink, we should partake. But it's just sex.
Own your sexuality, don't let it own you.
You could try relaxing some, and taking your husband to a strip club. Or have him take you to a male strip club. When a niece of mine got married she had her bachelorette party at a male strip club, and the women elected me to drive them there. My wife enjoyed herself quite a bit. I had no problem with that. My wife was a lot of fun when we got home. Relax, enjoy. Take the fun feelings home, and continue.
We will celebrate our 44th wedding anniversary soon.