Husband watches Cam Girls - Page 6 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #76 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-26-2017, 04:28 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by WallaceBea View Post
So? I don't need my husband to spend all of his spare energy on me, all of the time. I know he loves me and he isn't going anywhere. I am secure in myself to not be threatened by my husband watching porn or a cam girl from time to time.
We dont stay away from porn because we feel threatened or insecure, but because we know its not good for us or our marriage, and also because we feel its very disrespectful to each other. For us intimacy is for us alone.
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post #77 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 06:37 AM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
Many of us see it as cheating, I do. Its very damaging for the marriage. Sex should always be between the couple only, no one else involved.
and if you and your husband have discussed this already, and he agrees to it, then that is fine....for you. Just realize there are plenty of men who do not agree with your characterization. In fact a lot of men watch porn specifically to NOT need to cheat on a sexless marriage.

Also realize that marriages evolve over time. Maybe a man in his '30's who would never consider looking at porn, who later in his 60's finds erectile dysfunction popping up and he is desperately trying to sooth that loss in sexual function and intimacy, might NEED porn to live.
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post #78 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 06:58 AM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by Talker67 View Post
and if you and your husband have discussed this already, and he agrees to it, then that is fine....for you. Just realize there are plenty of men who do not agree with your characterization. In fact a lot of men watch porn specifically to NOT need to cheat on a sexless marriage.

Also realize that marriages evolve over time. Maybe a man in his '30's who would never consider looking at porn, who later in his 60's finds erectile dysfunction popping up and he is desperately trying to sooth that loss in sexual function and intimacy, might NEED porn to live.
He is even more strict about what he watches than I am. He wont even watch a film that has a sex scene in it.
Yes marriages change and people change, but as far as porn goes, its a no no for us.
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post #79 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-27-2017, 08:25 AM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by FriskyDingo View Post
1 Do men ever have emotion in sex? 2 Are men capable of really making love? And if so, how can you make love with one woman and watch another just for fun? 3 How can I overcome these hurt feelings and get our relationship back?
Sorry I'm late here but I will still answer your questions from a Confused Husband male perspective. Most people here already think I'm a pervert anyways so I'm just going to tell you what I think.

1 - YES! Men do feel love for YOU when they are having sex with you. However men are visual and they need visual stimuli for their sexuality to work (to get it up and keep it up). It's not so much about the "touch" as much about the "sight" or in some cases the fantasy of the sight. So porn, cam-girls, wandering eyes, are all manifestations of the fact that your husband likes variety, like 90% of men.
But that has nothing to do with the feelings or emotions for you.
When having sex with my wife, I think about her, her beautiful body, all the great feelings she is giving me, how much I love her, how dirty she is when she whispers unimaginable things in my ear that get me hard instantly, and I'm really enjoying the moment, AND...AND...sometimes I might throw in an external image from a porn scene I have seen or somebody I have met that morning (an attractive woman for example). But these are just images...and they have nothing to do with real life. Men do this, they mix visual images with reality.

2 - YES! But remember while women love emotions, men love images. That's why so many men watch porn, its stimulating...thats all that is. (except webcams and I will go back to that later...). Like I said before: while I'm having sex with my wife and we are really deep into it, we are both thinkin about each other and the pleasure, but also our own fantasies creep in and in that state, while you are trying to prolong it and not have an orgasm, your mind is going wild...things happen, images pup up, and it's not that we THINK about somebody else, but we might think about an erotic image of somebody else, or an act that somebody else performed, about that one porn scene that made us all bothered the night before, and we are dying to try it with our wives.
My wife has very wild images of other men too, I know it because when she is close to orgasm, she says things to me that she will never admit to herself in a normal state of mind, and she says things about me and suggests fantasies FOR ME that I would never think of discussing with her. This kind of chemistry usually leads to a mutual orgasm.

3 - Realize that cam-girls for a man are no different that other porn. You freaked out because while what are the odds of your husband ever meeting a pornstar and have sex with her in real life? None. Contrary, he just met and interacted with a girl he could have seen naked masturbating on the internet the night before!!!!! That goes beyond just a fantasy, that is reality! And yes, hunny, I have to tell you this: cam girls have contests, and if a member wins (usually the highest paying one), they will have sex with him in front of everybody during another cam-show.
So this is very close to home...too close for you to be ok with it, no wonder you are freaking out.
I think 99% even if you guys go and meet with this cam girl several times, nothing will ever happen. Most cam girls are shy in real life, ahve boyfriends or husbands...they also know there are 1000 average joes out there that would love to bang them so they dont really pay too much attention to males in general. They are in it for the money.

Hope this helps
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post #80 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-29-2017, 08:57 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by Diana7 View Post
He is even more strict about what he watches than I am. He wont even watch a film that has a sex scene in it. .
you are saying he will not watch a movie with a sex scene in it, but will watch cam girls who are naked and doing perverted sex acts and talking with him as they do? I...am missing something here. are we talking about the same thing. When you say "cam girl" what exactly do you mean by that??
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post #81 of 81 (permalink) Old 03-31-2017, 02:09 PM
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Re: Husband watches Cam Girls

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Originally Posted by Celes View Post
Have you guys seen what cam girls sites are like? It's not that big of a deal, unless he was paying for private time. Usually cam girls don't engage in too much. They are just standing around and teasing while several men are in the chat room typing stuff. Many won't get naked or do anything sexual on the free sites unless a guy pays to take her to a private "room". OP said he wasn't paying. He wasn't chatting with the girls.

If he was paying to have private sessions and had 1 on 1 interaction with the girls, my post would be different.
HA!!! I don't think so. After seeing my husband had gone on these sites I to went to one to see what it was about. On chatterbate people can make request for things that they pay for and anyone not paying can also see. I have seen EVERY sexual thing you can imagine and not paid a dime. It's true however that it's not very personal unless you pay (they don't respond to request or questions from none payers) but to say they don't show anything outside of private shows is crazy. OP I completely understand where you're coming from but the fact remains you were ok with porn, until you informed him this wasn't ok he wasn't doing anything wrong. From here on out however if he gets caught again knowing how you feel then you have to decide if it's a deal breaker and cut your losses.
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