Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 11-23-2011, 11:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

I am getting ready to go home soon after 6 months away from my W (deployment). As you can imagine, I am looking forward to being intimate with her again. I have been fantasizing what I would like to happen upon my return. One of which is to be greeted with a bj.

I wish my W were more enthusiastic about giving them. Iíve searched for threads covering lack of interest in felatio but couldnít find any. From what I read here it seems that most (if not all) women are. My W says that she is scared of the ending, not liking cum in her mouth; she says she doesnít like the warm mucus aspect of it and says it gags her. This disappoints me but I understand and can deal with it. I have told her that I will give her warning when Iím about to shoot so I can pull out and she seems ok with that.

I envy many of the husbands because it seems like bjís are a regular repertoire that are eagerly given. My W says she is willing to do them but doesnít like to as she is paranoid that I will finish in her mouth again, especially when she starts to notice pre cum in her mouth. Because of this I have never had a good one. In the past she put most of her focus on licking and not the actual meat and potatoes of the act. This was just a tease and has left me frustrated on the few occasions she has attempted; I kept this frustration to myself up until recently when we talked about it over the phone. She expressed her hang-up but said she wants to do it to please me. I don't want it to be a chore for her. I would like for her to want to do it or at least a little eager.

Have any of you ladies ever had a hang up with giving oral sex? If so, what helped you get past this? I want to be understanding toward her yet I also would like to have this apart of our sex life. We need to spice things up some but thatís another story.
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Old 11-23-2011, 11:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

Do you taste bad? Have you tasted yourself? Sounds gross, but look up things you can eat to make yourself taste better. Pineapple juice, etc. I like my hubs' precum...don't mind when he finishes now though because it's like water (since his vasectomy...the consistency is WAY better now).

In the past, i didn't like doing oral on men for many reasons. Sometimes it was because of the way the guy wanted it. I am not a ***** and won't be treated like one. Although i act like a ***** for my hubs...it's different because there's mutual respect and he knows who I really am. With him, I can orgasm just from giving him a bj

With other people, I'd never do it. They had horrible hygiene down there. SCRUB YOUR BALLS. Just gotta say it. It smells horrible when the schmegma builds up. *GAG*

And why not enjoy a wonderful BJ without finishing? Or is that very important to you?
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Old 11-23-2011, 11:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

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Do you taste bad? Have you tasted yourself? Sounds gross, but look up things you can eat to make yourself taste better. Pineapple juice, etc. I like my hubs' precum...don't mind when he finishes now though because it's like water (since his vasectomy...the consistency is WAY better now).

In the past, i didn't like doing oral on men for many reasons. Sometimes it was because of the way the guy wanted it. I am not a ***** and won't be treated like one. Although i act like a ***** for my hubs...it's different because there's mutual respect and he knows who I really am. With him, I can orgasm just from giving him a bj

With other people, I'd never do it. They had horrible hygiene down there. SCRUB YOUR BALLS. Just gotta say it. It smells horrible when the schmegma builds up. *GAG*

And why not enjoy a wonderful BJ without finishing? Or is that very important to you?
I can understand the hygiene thing.

It's not important for me to finish. I've never really had a chance to anyhow. It's really just getting her to want to do the act. I don't want her to do something she really doesn't want to do.

I will have to try the pineapple juice thing when I get back. Thanks for your honesty and for the tips.
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Old 11-24-2011, 12:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

Drink it daily starting now
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Old 11-24-2011, 12:14 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

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Drink it daily starting now
I don't believe the dining facility here carries it. I will have to check.

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Old 11-24-2011, 12:18 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

I'm like your wife. It is the temperature and viscosity that I don't like and then the taste. One of the posters on this forum suggested that when he is about to cum, that i make sure his junk is far back so it just goes down the throat bypassing the tongue. I have tried it and it is better but I am still working on it. One other thing is that I ask my husband to drink lots of water during the day, when he is dehydrated it is very thick and bitter tasting.

I find that if I have already had an orgasm I am much more enthusiastic about the bj and swallowing. Have you tried giving her oral first so that she is warmed up? I also find that position and comfort is important.

Try not to get frustrated if it does not go well on the first or even several try's.. She wants to make you happy and knows that it is important to you. If she knows that she is not quite there yet but you have confidence that she will get there, then she will relax. Make it like a project that you are both working on cooperatively.
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Old 11-24-2011, 06:48 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

I did have a hang up at first only because I can not stand the taste of semen with hubby . I've boughten several lubes and I just found one I like. The brand is Juicy Lube. I use the mint flavor and I can not taste the pre cum. Since buying the product, I LOVE giving oral!!!! It's absolutely amazing, but I need to take it easy. I broke my neck 3 years ago and still live in severe pain. I can only preform for a few minutes. I use my hands too. I also love sucking on his balls. They are incredibly soft and it turns him on. I can't have hubby finish in my mouth and he let's me know when I need to slow down or stop.

Geeze, I might hop into bed right now to give my husband a morning surprise.

Without the juicy lube, it would never happen. I literally get a sick stomach from the semen. I do ask my hubby to wash prior. He has no problems doing so. I've never in my life given anyone else oral. I need to fully trust and to be in love with them. We finish off with great sex/love making.
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Old 11-24-2011, 08:28 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm me View Post
I am getting ready to go home soon after 6 months away from my W (deployment). As you can imagine, I am looking forward to being intimate with her again. I have been fantasizing what I would like to happen upon my return. One of which is to be greeted with a bj.

I wish my W were more enthusiastic about giving them. I’ve searched for threads covering lack of interest in felatio but couldn’t find any. From what I read here it seems that most (if not all) women are. My W says that she is scared of the ending, not liking cum in her mouth; she says she doesn’t like the warm mucus aspect of it and says it gags her. This disappoints me but I understand and can deal with it. I have told her that I will give her warning when I’m about to shoot so I can pull out and she seems ok with that.

I envy many of the husbands because it seems like bj’s are a regular repertoire that are eagerly given. My W says she is willing to do them but doesn’t like to as she is paranoid that I will finish in her mouth again, especially when she starts to notice pre cum in her mouth. Because of this I have never had a good one. In the past she put most of her focus on licking and not the actual meat and potatoes of the act. This was just a tease and has left me frustrated on the few occasions she has attempted; I kept this frustration to myself up until recently when we talked about it over the phone. She expressed her hang-up but said she wants to do it to please me. I don't want it to be a chore for her. I would like for her to want to do it or at least a little eager.

Have any of you ladies ever had a hang up with giving oral sex? If so, what helped you get past this? I want to be understanding toward her yet I also would like to have this apart of our sex life. We need to spice things up some but that’s another story.
I had a severe aversion to giving blow jobs, because it reminded me of sexual abuse. After therapy, I LOVE giving them to my husband.

I do not allow cum in my face or on my body. I don't like semen very much.

You cannot force your wife to enjoy it. Have you asked her why she doesn't like giving oral?
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Old 11-24-2011, 08:34 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

I definitely have very negative feelings about it because my hubby got one from a hooker. I do not do them any more at all. Even before that I just didn't like it - it would literally make me gag when he got a bit too boisterous. And if he finished in my mouth I would almost puke.

There are websites and books that your wife can read with pointers - I think there are even classes she can take about it! I know that if I felt more in control of what was happening I didn't mind it as much.
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Old 11-24-2011, 09:52 AM   #10 (permalink)
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I'm like your wife. It is the temperature and viscosity that I don't like and then the taste. One of the posters on this forum suggested that when he is about to cum, that i make sure his junk is far back so it just goes down the throat bypassing the tongue. I have tried it and it is better but I am still working on it. One other thing is that I ask my husband to drink lots of water during the day, when he is dehydrated it is very thick and bitter tasting.

I find that if I have already had an orgasm I am much more enthusiastic about the bj and swallowing. Have you tried giving her oral first so that she is warmed up? I also find that position and comfort is important.

Try not to get frustrated if it does not go well on the first or even several try's.. She wants to make you happy and knows that it is important to you. If she knows that she is not quite there yet but you have confidence that she will get there, then she will relax. Make it like a project that you are both working on cooperatively.
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Thanks for your insight and advice. I will have to discuss some of this with her when I get back. As for giving her oral, I'm all over that. In our marriage, we have not really experimented too much sexually. This is due to surgeries she's had and me being gone so much the past few years being in the military.

I agree she wants to make me happy. I have an awesome wife like that. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. At the same time there are certain things I'd like to try. What it really boils down to is communication and I don't always find that easy.

I like how you say I should make this a project. I think I will do that.
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Old 11-24-2011, 11:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

My wife thinks of oral as a HUGE deal. When I ask, I don't ask very often she will literally take 20 min just to work up to putting it in her mouth.

Then she will sort of suck on it for while then stop. I have only cum in her mouth once in all the years I have been with her and she immediately spit it out and made a big deal about it.

No I do not taste bad. And yes I have tasted it. It has almost no taste what so ever and is kind of sweet actually. Why some people make a big deal out of tasting something they are not used to is beyond me. If you try it and don't like it that is one thing. But if you never try because you have some preconceived notion of what you think it might be like then it is no wonder so many people have the hang ups they do.

I would do anything my wife would ask at least once. If I didn't like it then move on. I don't know why some people have such a hard time with different.
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Old 11-24-2011, 11:42 AM   #12 (permalink)
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You cannot force your wife to enjoy it. Have you asked her why she doesn't like giving oral?
I haven't and won't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do. Right now I'm just seeing what I can do to help her be more comfortable. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I may be disappointed but I'll get over it.
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Old 11-24-2011, 12:47 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

She can grow to enjoy it with positive experiences, take the suggestions above. I don't mind pleasuring my husband, but I haven't let him finish in my mouth yet.

Diet is important. I'm a vegetarian and my husband doesn't eat red meat... It can give you a less than savory taste. Try reducing meats and increasing fruits to give yourself a sweeter, if barely detectable taste. Not to be TMI but my husband produces A LOT of precum and I can tell the difference when he varies his diet.
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Old 11-24-2011, 12:49 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Ladies - Negative feelings about giving oral?

Oh yeah, and be grateful for what she DOES do, even if it's just a 'tease' - you want her to feel good about pleasuring you, not harp on her technique or what she doesn't do. Over time, as she gains confidence and comfort, you both can work on expanding her method.
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Old 11-24-2011, 01:04 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Oh yeah, and be grateful for what she DOES do, even if it's just a 'tease' - you want her to feel good about pleasuring you, not harp on her technique or what she doesn't do. Over time, as she gains confidence and comfort, you both can work on expanding her method.
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You are right. She is trying. I've received a lot of good information. Thanks everyone.
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