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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 11-27-2011, 12:53 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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We use the Lelo Tor, and it works reasonably well... Personally, my favorite toy is her Wee-Vibe Tango, which she uses on herself when I'm inside her. Personally, if she can orgasm as powerfully as she does with that combination, I couldn't care less if she's using a feather boa and a clown nose! And we can orgasm simultaneously. But she has only once had an orgasm without some additional stimulation.

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We have the "El Toro" Vibrator and it works ok when I'm wearing it. We usually start that way, then she takes it and holds it to herself while we finish. Sadly, the only other thing in our toy box is her rabbit, so this is the only toy that we can both play with. Working on that though.
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Old 11-27-2011, 01:13 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

My GF keeps breaking hers/ours... I think we've got 4 or 5 dead ones right now.

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Old 11-27-2011, 03:57 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

I'm in the lucky 30% I usually have small orgasms which just kind of make me shudder (in a good way!) then I have a huge one.

Me being on top or having my legs atop his shoulders is what usually works best for me.

Another good position is you have your wife lie across the bed with her legs hanging off the end. You stand on the floor facing her and when you enter her, put her legs atop your shoulders and stroke her breasts. The clit is also easy to reach from there.

If you haven't done it yet, learn about the G-Spot and how to access it. There are positions that causes the penis to stimulate it.

It rarely happens but I have lost my orgasm before. Unless we are being interrupted, it is mental on my part.
When those times happen, hubby will finish then go down on me or stroke my clit.

Last edited by The_Swan; 11-27-2011 at 04:02 AM.
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Old 11-27-2011, 05:02 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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The W and I are in a similar situation. She's never been there with penetration alone, but I can get her to an O without much trouble manually these days. Before we had things "figured out" (still working on it, but getting better each time ), she would often get to the cusp with clitoral situation, then I would change something and she would loose it. To fix that problem, she started giving me "driving directions" as we went through the act. Now, I have the road map memorized and I can get her there as quickly or as slowly as she wants no matter what traffic looks like.
That's right. It's all about listening to her body, feeling her movements. Figuring out what she responds to. If you're going to aim it, aim to please, and take pleasure in pleasing her. You need to navigate with some of her directions, and if she is having trouble with orgasms through penetration, maybe she doesn't yet know how to drive. But you can teach her.

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A word of advice, don't try to make her O the holy grail. The more you two build it up, the bigger the mental block becomes, we went through this trying to get the W to O with penetration alone. If you open up the lines of communication and play with it a bit, good things will happen. Good luck!
Also throw some random-ability in there. I personally favor technique over toys. Switch up the pace a bit: regular, high, low, and tease mode. You have to prevent sex from being mechanical. Also switch up the positions. If you have some good stuff, don't use all of your ace moves every time you have sex, but, when it's time for her to climax, do always go to your closer with something you know she likes.
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Old 11-28-2011, 12:46 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I know. I don't know how it happens, but it does. lol. The first time it happened, Hubs was like, "Did you just.... " LOL Yup. I guess I did.
It's an amazing feeling to have my wife cuming will she's down there on me, my God....

Usually she'll stay down there till she cums and then we'll move on to other things.

I am so very lucky to be with someone who is able to orgasm so many ways, it makes me fell like a God.

I know a lot of women say they don't have to orgasm to feel pleasure, but that physical, visable proof that she's turned on at that level drives me crazy. It's like a cycle of sexual energy, it's an amazing feeling.
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Old 11-28-2011, 02:17 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?

Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it?

Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?

Does she climax from oral?
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Old 11-28-2011, 03:36 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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Thats interesting to me.

Im usually alright at manually stimulating her to orgasm, but often times she takes over, because she is worried she will lose the orgasm, and the expression on her face is one of.... work. Its as if she has to focus so much on coming to orgasm that she isnt really there anymore.
Yeah, it's probably a mental thing. She may feel under pressure to have an O (not necessarily because you make her feel that way, but SHE may feel that way). She may also worry that she's taking too long and that you are bored.

It could also be that you aren't hitting all her hot spots and she doesn't want to teach you how to do it the way it feels best because she doesn't want you to feel criticized.

This is where trust and foreplay come in. Foreplay is an all day affair. Sexy text messages, affectionate and loving touching, showing appreciation for her in general are all libido boosters. And then when you make love, make sure there is no pressure, no expectation, just pure enjoyment. Just knowing that my husband loves to please me and that he would lick me for an hour or more if necessary to make me come takes the pressure off of me. Then there is no NEED to take an hour because I trust that he's enoying everything he's doing to please me and I come in a short amount of time.....unless I am purposely holding out to extend my pleasure.

Also make sure to tell her how sexy she looks and how good she smells when you are having sex, giving her oral, etc. This type of encouragement will make her feel more trusting and open.

Some guys just don't focus on the woman's pleasure (or don't show it) and make it seem like a getting her "there" is somehow a chore. The fact that my husband gets crazy turned on when he's down on me is a huge turn on. The fact that I get crazy turned on when I'm down on him is a huge turn on for him.
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Old 11-28-2011, 03:40 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I am so very lucky to be with someone who is able to orgasm so many ways, it makes me fell like a God.
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Old 11-28-2011, 10:15 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

My wife must have clitoral stimulation for orgasm. We use positions that either allow my hand to stimulate her clit or the ability for her to use a vibe or a finger on herself. One position that always works is her on top. Her clit can come into contact with the base of my c**k that way and I can suck on her perfect little tits. She orgasms in about 5 minutes when I do that!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
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Old 11-29-2011, 10:26 AM   #25 (permalink)
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These things are fairly simple and you can do them to where they don't feel forced or awkward. Cusp your hands underneath her butt when in missionary. Draw her firmly to you when you thrust. It provides a bit of leverage and will help put pressure on the clitoris. It's more intimate than a pillow. Then kiss her if she likes to kiss, on the lips, neck, and her breasts. If you were doing all of that all-day foreplay stuff ahead of time, you're in better shape.

In doggy style, you can wrap your hand around her front leg and rub her clit, taking the work off of her (she doesn't have to do a thing), and you can kiss her on her shoulders. You don't even have to move too much, and you will be inside her when you are guiding her to ecstasy.

Last edited by mr.rightaway; 11-29-2011 at 11:09 AM.
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Old 11-29-2011, 12:16 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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LOVE this! What kind of man would EVER leave -- or cheat -- on a woman like THAT???

Sure, it *could* happen. But, a woman who makes her man feel like a God?? That's MY new goal!
Yeah, that's a good goal. My last GF before my wife was very good at that. She said some great things in bed (that perhaps she said to all her past BFs) but they totally made me feel like a god.

And she was pretty orgasmic. So that helped.
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Old 11-29-2011, 12:40 PM   #27 (permalink)
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I really think it has to do with the position of the pubic bone and the size/shape/location of the clitoris.

My wife can get off if I'm on top or if she's on top, but not doggie, so it really has to do with my pubic bone rubbing on her clit.

If a man is just thrusting, he's not going to be stimulating that clit much. I think it's rare for women to get off w/o that clit getting some friction, so one has to concentrate on grinding in a rhythmic kind of way.

Heck though, the fact that your woman can get off at all is a good thing. Many women can't even do that for a variety of reasons.
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Old 11-30-2011, 05:16 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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LOVE this! What kind of man would EVER leave -- or cheat -- on a woman like THAT???

Sure, it *could* happen. But, a woman who makes her man feel like a God?? That's MY new goal!
I ain't going no where!

I am so lucky, my wife once said, "I can cum just looking at your c*ck."

She cums from intercourse, all kinds of positions, she cums while down on me, while I'm down on her, she cums from breast play, all I have to do is play with them for a bit and she's off and cumming, she cums from giving me a hand job, she cums form using her breast to squeeze my unit... God damn I'm a lucky man...

It's on thing to have a wife willing to give you a BJ or let you slide between their breast, but it's a whole different level of satisfaction knowing she's so into me, she's cumming from these things which are supposed to be for me. Sometimes I can't tell who's loving it more me or her. I think its a tie.
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Old 11-30-2011, 06:39 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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Originally Posted by SockPuppet View Post
My wife is only able to orgasm when she is self stimulating her clit. Wondering if any other women are like this, or if it may be something to overcome? Maybe I could do something differently/ start doing something well?

Do many women, during stimulation, get to the cusp of orgasm only to lose it?

Multiple orgasms: is it common during intercourse with your spouse to have multiple orgasms? If yes or no, why do you think that is?
Every woman is unique and respond to differently to stimulus. I would say focus on pleasure and the orgasms will cum. Some woman cum only from clitoral stimulation others respond differently. That's the beauty of marriage. It's a lifetime (hopefully) of learning anothers body and what makes them tick. Learning my wifes body has been a joyus journey.

And I feel I have some experience here. I payattention to her responses to this touch, that lick, all of it. I know if I for example start rough, she'll say it hurts, but if I wait till her body tells me, roughing it up will send her over the top.

I listen to my wife's body and not every time I do this, that will happen. I believe it's 90% mental. If your wife is having orgasms be happy. But getting to know her responses is the key to unlocking the o's. If she's on the cusp of orgasm and looses it tell her to relax enjoy what is making her feel so good in the first place. Forget about orgasming at all, just enjoy the moment. Let there be no pressure or expectaion of an o. Just enjoy each other and the love you share. The o's will cum.
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Old 11-30-2011, 08:28 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: female orgasm during intercourse

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My wife can get off if I'm on top or if she's on top, but not doggie, so it really has to do with my pubic bone rubbing on her clit.

If a man is just thrusting, he's not going to be stimulating that clit much. I think it's rare for women to get off w/o that clit getting some friction, so one has to concentrate on grinding in a rhythmic kind of way.
I think you put it a bit better than I did. As far as doggy style, it is harder for a lot of women to orgasm in that position. To elude further, when in doggy style it might help to "cusp" the four extending fingers over her clit area. The middle finger rubs the clit (switch it up--up and down, circular, counter-clockwise--use a moderate amount of pressure) and you can move the other three fingers around randomly. Also, while doing that you need to put pressure with those fingers/your palm and draw her into your hard penis. While you are thrusting, keep pulling her into you while stimulating her. The other pressure point is your arm against her leg. This sounds all scheduled when you write it out, but it's not. Do it with finess, no herkey jerky, and it needs to be natural and flowing and more of an unconscious thing in sensing how she's moving. You just need to focus on her pleasure.

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Originally Posted by IAMCIV View Post
...learning another's body and what makes them tick. Learning my wife's body has been a joyous journey.

...I pay attention to her responses to this touch, that lick, all of it...

...I listen to my wife's body and not every time I do this, that will happen. I believe it's 90% mental. If your wife is having orgasms be happy. But getting to know her responses is the key to unlocking the o's. If she's on the cusp of orgasm and looses it tell her to relax enjoy what is making her feel so good in the first place. Forget about orgasming at all, just enjoy the moment. Let there be no pressure or expectaion of an o. Just enjoy each other and the love you share. The o's will cum.
You have to get her whole body involved, including touching and caressing with hands throughout intercourse; running your fingers through her hair; grabbing her hair, etc. This subconsciously activates her mind in feeling multiple sensations, not just the sensation of your penis. It's all about the build-up, and if she loses it, be honored to be making love to her and be willing to wait as long as it takes for her to get to that big moment(s).

If your girl likes it a bit more rough, do that. If she likes toys, do that. Her pleasure first, not yours.
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