Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
What's the longest you've ever gone without sex with your spouse? For me it's been 7 months and then 5 months over our 5 year marriage. Each of those times we were physically apart. Other than that it's been at most 2 weeks for various health conditions. And the reason I ask is because my H has a habit of throwing around the "you never want sex", or he exaggerates the timeline if it's been longer than a few days. Just curious of other married couples.
With my current wife (married 4 1/2 years) it's been 6 months three times due to my job taking me away from home. With my ex, I went 2 years living separate, fighting for my marriage from afar. Of course after reading about the 180 and Man Up, I realize I did it wrong. On the one hand I wish I had known about these back then and on the other, I am very happy to be married to my wife. Posted via Mobile Device
The only time was when I moved to another state and she stayed to let the kids finish school (4 months). Other than that, the only times we are not having regular sex (2-3 times a week) are during her period or when we are physically apart.
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
Longest without sex has been about a week and we've been together nearly 3.5 years (married nearly 2.5 years). It is rare that we even go consecutive days without having some form of sex and through better communication we have established that even just a handjob is better than no sex at all.
I would not tolerate going too long without sex as I have a pretty high sex drive and get very tense without regular sex.
What's the longest you've ever gone without sex with your spouse? For me it's been 7 months and then 5 months over our 5 year marriage. Each of those times we were physically apart. Other than that it's been at most 2 weeks for various health conditions. And the reason I ask is because my H has a habit of throwing around the "you never want sex", or he exaggerates the timeline if it's been longer than a few days. Just curious of other married couples.
656 days, 4 hrs, 12 minutes....and still rolling. But then....who's counting?
Prior to that....pretty much from the beginning.....divide every year (10 of them) by an average of 6.5 (times per year)...and you'll get your average span between.
You could start keeping a calendar of when you do have sex. Then you will have what the reality is versus what people's perceptions are.
I have a mental calendar. He just exaggerates, just like his mom. If it's been more than 2 days, he claims it's been 2 weeks. Plus he's notorious for using the terms "never" and "always". In his defense this time though, it has been about 2 weeks.
I see a lot of 2 to 3 times a week. Seems to be the norm and we were doing that, but with his latest disrespectful stint, I'm having a hard time connecting with him on that level. I don't know if I should just do it and hope to start getting back into it, or continue to see if his respect for me is genuine, or does he really just want to get laid so is that why he's being nice.
I have a mental calendar. He just exaggerates, just like his mom. If it's been more than 2 days, he claims it's been 2 weeks. Plus he's notorious for using the terms "never" and "always". In his defense this time though, it has been about 2 weeks.
I see a lot of 2 to 3 times a week. Seems to be the norm and we were doing that, but with his latest disrespectful stint, I'm having a hard time connecting with him on that level. I don't know if I should just do it and hope to start getting back into it, or continue to see if his respect for me is genuine, or does he really just want to get laid so is that why he's being nice.
I hate when people toss around the terms "never" and "always".
But, if I went two weeks without sex, I'd go crazy and be a total a$$ to my DW if it ever reached that long.
Rather than continuing to punish him for the perceived "disrespectful stint", if he is being nice, why not just reconnect and have sex with your husband? A man (or woman) will only wait along so long before he starts looking elsewhere.
Rather than continuing to punish him for the perceived "disrespectful stint", if he is being nice, why not just reconnect and have sex with your husband? A man (or woman) will only wait along so long before he starts looking elsewhere.
That's kind of what I was getting at with this thread. I really want to just do it, but everything just feels so cold right now. Maybe I do just have to do it, in order to see if I can get back into it, see if there's anything there. He really is trying, it's been a little overboard at times, but he knows he freaking messed up bad Thanks CalifGuy!
I used to be like him. I would exaggerate just like that, use "always" and "never", get very passive aggressive, etc. I have learned in 39 years of marriage that my wife needs to feel emotionally connected with me to desire sex and that what I was doing was driving her away.
I would suggest that you are being passive aggressive right now. I would suggest that you tell him how you feel. You also might want to do some reading together. A great place to start is the book "The Couple Checkup". It will address the communication issue (always, never, etc.).
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
Wow. I think for us it was 3 weeks, that's the longest we've gone without seeing each other.
During other times I think there have been a few times of 2 weeks due to a combination of sickness/travel/life, but they're rare and we're both VERY ready by then.
Sex Hiatus in Marriage 
no excuse it's her 2 years after ILYNILWY
