This post and the previous about female sexuality are, as usual, pure gold.
My only concern is where the "blame" is allocated.
You and @techmom
(of course), blame men ("all men want inexperienced women or virgins to protect their fragile egos").
First, thank you for the kind compliment. Second, perhaps my wording was clumsy but I did not intend, AT ALL, to implicate all men or even men in general. There are very few men, IMO, who seek virgins. There are a lot more men who are very uncomfortable with the idea that their wife has more sexual experience or more past lovers. While some of that discomfort might be based in being territorial, I think some of it is also based on insecurity. But for the record, I do not think the majority of men seek sexually inexperienced wives, I think most men don't really care.
To your credit, you also blame some of the elements of modern feminism (sex is about male dominance of women).
Again, I have to tweak your understanding of what I wrote and admit clumsiness as the cause of the misunderstanding.
I do not blame, AT ALL, modern feminism. True feminism gives women the power to be who they wish to be no matter who that person is. True feminism is about breaking any mold women have historically been shoved into and instead urges women to create their own mold for themselves without regard to social feminine ideals.
But this message hasn't always been clearly delivered, nor clearly received. I fought against my own draw toward dominance and submission because I was a liberated woman who did not get off being submissive. But I was wrong. I conclude that there are many other women who fight against their own sexuality because they too are liberated and they too confuse being liberated and being themselves.
But I think it's deeper than that. Before the advent of birth control and a woman's ability to support herself and her children, something had to prevent women from just having sex with whomever she pleased, whenever she wanted. I imagine some degree of "slvt shaming" is built into a woman's emotional DNA.
In so far as social conditioning is passed from generation to the next...maybe. But I suspect females have always been regarded as a resource. Because men are built bigger and stronger it has been men who view females as a resource to acquire, to keep and to guard. Passing the resources a man might acquire down to the next generation meant the children needed to his and the only way to ensure that was to require a virgin and require she remain chaste except to the man who acquired, kept and guarded her. In other words, for tens of thousands of years the average female was little more than a natural resource that men acquired, kept and guarded. Of course there are some notable exceptions through history where a woman grabbed power and had her way with whomever turned her head, but the vast vast majority never enjoyed the sexual freedoms men have always had, and women are just now getting to experience.
Pretending that a woman's sexuality is exactly like a man's and that if she has good enough orgasms often enough that she'll want to have sex just like a man and that she'll always want sex with a man if she's "into" him enough lead us all down the wrong path.
Blaming men and society for women's sexuality deprives women of agency and leave their sexual fulfillment in the hands of others.
The more clearly we understand what's really going on, the better we can address the issues.
I'd think the best approach would be to realize that men want sex; it's okay for them to want sex; I want sex; it's okay for me to want sex; what do I need to overcome to make us have more sex?
I have always stated that women do not experience their sexuality the same way men do.
Yes!! Absolutely everyone should liberate their sexuality!!! Claim it! Own it!
I want sex. It's okay to want sex. Sex is an important part of my life. What needs to happen for our sex life to meet both of our needs?