Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have been married for 12 years and we have a more than un-usual sex life. In the beginning we had sex about 4-5 times a week. Which is/was fine. However up until recently (about 1 year now) my H wants/craves/desires sex EVERYDAY! I recently counted since Oct. 19th we have had sex EVERYDAY. On Friday I stated to him that I didnt want to have sex because I was tired. The truth was I simply didnt want to. I wanted my Va-jay to rest. He got very upset and told me I wasnt being fair. I know that was selfish of him to say, however he could not understand why I would be tired. This is not the first time, that we got into a arguement because I didnt want to have sex. I enjoy sex (as you can see) but now it seems to me like its is a daily task such as brushing your teeth and taking a bath. I enjoy sex because its something spontenous and fun, not a task/chore, that I now need to include in my day as a must. I cant talk to him about it, because he will get pissed. I just want to know if there is anyone out there that has this problem, it seems to me that my situation is rare, being that most of the women on here is frustrated about not having sex...
I have been married for 12 years and we have a more than un-usual sex life. In the beginning we had sex about 4-5 times a week. Which is/was fine. However up until recently (about 1 year now) my H wants/craves/desires sex EVERYDAY! I recently counted since Oct. 19th we have had sex EVERYDAY. On Friday I stated to him that I didnt want to have sex because I was tired. The truth was I simply didnt want to. I wanted my Va-jay to rest. He got very upset and told me I wasnt being fair. I know that was selfish of him to say, however he could not understand why I would be tired. This is not the first time, that we got into a arguement because I didnt want to have sex. I enjoy sex (as you can see) but now it seems to me like its is a daily task such as brushing your teeth and taking a bath. I enjoy sex because its something spontenous and fun, not a task/chore, that I now need to include in my day as a must. I cant talk to him about it, because he will get pissed. I just want to know if there is anyone out there that has this problem, it seems to me that my situation is rare, being that most of the women on here is frustrated about not having sex...
It goes both ways. There are a few on the board who complain its too much or too often.
What works best is when the drives are matched - or when there can be a compromise when the drives are different.
For him to get pi$$y about not having sex every day is a bit extreme. Maybe you need to talk to him outside the "heat of the moment" and explain that you need a break now and then.
I don't have an answer or explanation but I wanted you to know you're not alone. My husband has the same expectation or he gets in a mood and says mean things to all of us. But I don't dare ask what's wrong or it's somehow flipped around to be all my fault. It's a no win situation.
I don't have an answer or explanation but I wanted you to know you're not alone. My husband has the same expectation or he gets in a mood and says mean things to all of us. But I don't dare ask what's wrong or it's somehow flipped around to be all my fault. It's a no win situation.
Yep! That is exactly what happens.... It ALWAYS get flipped around on me thats when it turns around on me where I am now being unfaithful because I now want to have sex with somebody else??????? And the weird part is I have never been unfaithful or never gave him a reason to think I was. I hate having one of the same arguements over sex! Posted via Mobile Device
It goes both ways. There are a few on the board who complain its too much or too often.
What works best is when the drives are matched - or when there can be a compromise when the drives are different.
For him to get pi$$y about not having sex every day is a bit extreme. Maybe you need to talk to him outside the "heat of the moment" and explain that you need a break now and then.
Ive tried on plenty of occassions...it never helps it just makes it worst. It turns into a real heated arguement where now it gets to the point like why bother.....Thank you for offering a suggestion, I really appreciate it! :-) Posted via Mobile Device
There are other things that you can do together that are sexually intimate that don't involve intercourse.
With that said, though, your husband is being selfish. Marriage is about both people giving to each other, not just taking. So, stiffen your backbone and let him know that there needs to be mutuality in your sexual intimacy for your marriage to work - you are not just an object but a person who has feelings, needs, and desires too that he needs to take in to consideration. Him saying you are selfish and not fair for not obliging is like the pot calling the kettle black. If you are willing to do things other than intercourse on the 'off' days, then let him know and happily oblige.
Is there anything that has happened recently (like in the last month or so) that could have revved up his drive? Is he on any kind of drugs or medication? Did something else change in his life?
Up until about a year ago my wife and I had sex 3-4 time a month and that was too much for her. I usually just took care of it myself. It doesn't matter the trigger for me, but now I want it every day. Part of it was that I started to exercise and my libido shot way up and didn't want to relieve myself. I wanted my wife to be part of it.
I tell my wife jokingly that if we had sex every day for a month and she actually enjoyed it, I would eventually tire of it and drop down to 3-4 maybe 5 times a week.
At the same the building where I work has a lot of attractive women who flirt all the time since I've been working out and get me all worked up. For now, I go home to my wife. I want her to see my increased libido as a goo thing that she can benefit from. I know that she doesn't see it that way
There are other things that you can do together that are sexually intimate that don't involve intercourse.
With that said, though, your husband is being selfish. Marriage is about both people giving to each other, not just taking. So, stiffen your backbone and let him know that there needs to be mutuality in your sexual intimacy for your marriage to work - you are not just an object but a person who has feelings, needs, and desires too that he needs to take in to consideration. Him saying you are selfish and not fair for not obliging is like the pot calling the kettle black. If you are willing to do things other than intercourse on the 'off' days, then let him know and happily oblige.
Is there anything that has happened recently (like in the last month or so) that could have revved up his drive? Is he on any kind of drugs or medication? Did something else change in his life?
Best wishes.
LOL!!! No he is not on any drugs/medications. LOL I have no clue why his sex drive has went up...NONE WHATS SO EVER!! **** if anything I would expect it to go down, he started working longer hours and is very tired when he get home...well not too tired to have sex, eat and sleep (mostly in that order, we have sex maybe 1-2 times EVERYDAY and maybe have sex 3-4 times over the weekend). .. IDK????
Tell him to come here and see how many men and women have very mismatched libidos with their spaces and to count his blessings.
But convert the genders, and the man is an unappreciative bastard! Heh
I find this curious actually, 7x a week is rather normal for us, well when we're not fighting that is (It used to be 21x a week), and I'm a guy. The thing is, why do you reject him?
Is it because you're just not in the mood?
Or does he approach it wrong?
Or do you have other commitments?
Or does it cause pain?
Or is it just not good enough?
Or you can of course do the opposite of what the missus does. She likes to feed me protein, kinda like fuel for sex drive really for men. You can try to cut his protein intake, or get him to work out more -> tell him he needs to lose or put on a few to get into a better shape, so that energy is channeled elsewhere.
But convert the genders, and the man is an unappreciative bastard! Heh
I find this curious actually, 7x a week is rather normal for us, well when we're not fighting that is (It used to be 21x a week), and I'm a guy. The thing is, why do you reject him?
Is it because you're just not in the mood?
Or does he approach it wrong?
Or do you have other commitments?
Or does it cause pain?
Or is it just not good enough?
Or you can of course do the opposite of what the missus does. She likes to feed me protein, kinda like fuel for sex drive really for men. You can try to cut his protein intake, or get him to work out more -> tell him he needs to lose or put on a few to get into a better shape, so that energy is channeled elsewhere.
Thanks RandomDude...
Like I stated, I enjoy sex where I could/would be in the mood if it was not considered a daily chore..maybe its the way he approaches it or maybe because I just really dont be in the mood...remember we started off having sex like 4-5 times a week, now its 7x off rip!!! We generally have sex 2-4 times a day, and nothing is off limits as long as it consits of me and him. We dont play with any toys since we both feel that there is no need, porn is porn we both watch it and enjoy it(to me its like a regular TV show, we dont get turned on or anything its just porn). BJ's anal, vaginally...it dosent matter..
He is 39 years old, 245lbs and is a warehouse regional manager where he is constanley moving,walking,lifting etc..works 12 hrs a day, 5 to 6 days a week. (you would think he would be too tired to have sex....Shiiiittt!!!) he does not eat "meat" only chicken,fish and turkey...we eat rice, beans, potaotes (a lot of starchy foods he is from the V.I. (St. Thomas). When I tell you I dont know...I really dont know
Yes, I know EXACTLY how you feel that when it becomes routine and when it feels like a chore!! That seems to be the problem, you have to discuss this with him.
Yes, I know EXACTLY how you feel that when it becomes routine and when it feels like a chore!! That seems to be the problem, you have to discuss this with him.
Need Help...Sex EVERYDAY with my H 
