I've tried to explain that when single it isn't as difficult but that when I am that aroused lying next to my H, or even just casual touches, can be excruciating. Wanting (or needing) intimate contact, being so physically close to him but unable to act on my arousal DOES in fact cause me pain.
I told H just night before last that if there were a way to remove arousal completely or even just to mute it for a short time I would be first in line. I hate feeling this way and, even worse, I hate that me feeling this way hurts my husband -- he feels inadequate and/or broken.
Again, same here for me and my wife. I wish I had no drive at all. Working on it.
People who have never experienced this have no idea of the emotional pain HD partners like myself feel -- I can't stop my nearly constant arousal even though it's causing my wonderful husband to feel like he doesn't satisfy me.
You may not enjoy reading this, but please hear me out as I think you might find a different perspective helpful to both of you.
Your husband is correct. He does not satisfy you. Which is why you are so horny so much of the time. Stop arguing with him and embrace your differences. Agree that he does not satisfy you sexually as often as you wish. But reassure him that he has many great qualities, you love him, and you are not trading him for any other man. After all, some other woman would have bigger or perkier boobs or more money or whatever, and he isn't leaving you over those things, is he? No one is perfect and no couple is perfectly aligned in every aspect of their relationship. In fact, PRETENDING that your spouse is a perfect match is more likely to cause problems than accepting the reality that they aren't.
Marriage is not about finding the perfect match and then demanding that they never change and tying them to the wall so they can't escape. Marriage is about making a commitment to stay with a person despite their flaws and despite the ways in which they are not a perfect match for you. it is about doing the work to iron out or accept your differences. It is about constantly working to become more compatible, not about achieving a state of perfect and petrified compatibility.
When you tell your husband that he fully satisfies you, you are lying to him. And he knows you are lying. And he may appreciate the sentiment behind the lie. But he would probably appreciate the truth more.