Quote:
Originally Posted by FurryFluffy  Because :
1. I can't stand it anymore; it's a dead end with no way out except stepping back.
2. I love him, hence, maybe, just maybe, the reason of he couldn't function is me. maybe he'd function well with someone else. who knows? it's not im going to let him missing his life, right?he's 28 fgs.. |
Furry Fluffy, you are missing the point... nice name BTW
You talked to your husband about this and he says there is no problem. Let me translate: he is ok with having sex that infrequently, he doesnt see it as a problem like you do.
You can make yourself crazy over the next few years trying and not trying and him just sitting there going along with his things.
Point number 2... you spend too much time together. You may have crossed into friend/business zone, bc you are always around each other. There are some couples who make this work, I could, but it would require both spouses.
So, you can shake it up as suggested, great suggestions. If you cannot work outside the home, then are you in separate rooms? If in the same workroom, can you re-organize so that there is a divider shelf unit of some sort between you? Do you have another area you can set up your office in, with a viable explanation other than trying to get distance... such as "more light over here" or "quieter."
He sounds like just a homebody type man, and he is ok with not going out alot, not having excitement, it just sounds as if, that is who he is. If that is who he is, he is not motivated to change it.
You also mentioned church stuff that he likes. Use the scripture as your best friend.
Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives submit to your husbands, husbands love your wives...
And actually, this one alone says it all... 1 Corinthians 7:1-6..."Now for the matters you wrote about
: It is good for man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then, come together again so that Satan will not tempt you bc of your lack of control."
Meet him on his own "terms" with 1 Corinthians and say calmly that you do not want to let Satan have a grip and that you need to fulfill this scripture in order to stave off Satan from tempting you with passions elsewhere. You fulfill his desire when it happens 2 times a year (ugh) and yet this scripture clearly states that it is to go BOTH ways, not just HIS needs... his body belongs to you as much as yours belongs to him... and do not deprive each other lest giving Satan a chance to sneak in! If he is very religious, he should get that. It is to forsake your vows to each other in front of God to forsake and deprive each other's needs.
Good luck! I personally would divorce him bc your drives are so mismatched and you dont have kids yet, but I dont know what it is like in your culture and area of the globe and maybe its not as easy to do it where you are. Here in America, if you dont have kids or combined assets, its fairly easy to leave these days.
Re: 'spice-up-your-marriage-and-sex-life' tips that are USELESS for me 
Sounds like it would made the divide even wider, no?
