Unbeliveable, your views on the responsibility of partners in marriage to have sex whether they feel like it or not are a matter of record here. I am not questioning your position on this.
I am merely pointing out that whilst making themselves do something encourages some people to do it more, for others it acts as negative reinforcement. It depends who you are. It works very well for some people but for others it has a very negative effect. Caveat emptor.
And we would all be more blessed to be with the spouses who didn't resent it, that is for sure, cause then some of us (me being one) would want to leave such a marriage, it goes both ways there too. Glad I didn't have to experience such and I feel bad for everyone who does.
Sex is too important, it is so much more than just a "screw".
Original Poster, excuse me, I tend to jump on women who aren't getting it earlier in their marriage or not feeling it, I was there too at one time -so it is not like I can judge anyone, I had my own damn hangups -It wasn't weight, it was repression and being uneducated about a man's needs. We all have so much to learn. Although I did still had a nice drive- needing it once or week or I would chase him down.
As men age, some of this will die down for them, and YOUR drive may go UP and it may really SUCK if you want it as much as HE does now, and he is suddenly filling your shoes. Let me tell you --this is not easy to be on the end of this type of rejection.
Me & my husband had this "switch", as you know, men can not "fake it", I caused mine some performance pressure, but you know what, he NEVER pushed me away, he is my hero, he did everything he could to keep up with me. Now that is a loving spouse , I sing his praises, then I cried because I was NOT there for him -like that in his time of frustration --because I didn't get it, I really had NO idea, until I started feeling like that -the needy one, the one who was antsy , frustrated. It is a very hard place to be -when you want connection with the one you love. There is pain there.
2-3 times a month is NOT enough for a man. He will be dying inside.
Take 6 minutes & listen to this song, this is likely your husbands heart:
Please forgive Me by Bryan Adams... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EHAo6rEuas