Originally Posted by allnamesaretaken View Post
Her family actually knows the whole story (because I told them.. She left the EA out and only told them about the arguement) and take my side on things.. They have expressed their dissappointment to her.. So not worried about feeling like an outcast... And yea at times I do feel embarrassed about the situation and things that I am putting myself through... But sticking up for myself shouldn't have to mean filing for divorce... I think I will try and have a good time this weekend... Then tell her when we get home she needs to agree to counseling (I think it would benefit her to talk to someone besides me about the ENTIRE situation) or transfer out of her facility... Something to prove she's really in this other than just "letting me try" to fix it... This probably doesn't belong in this thread anymore so if admin knows how to switch it feel free
Sticking up for yourself doesn't mean filing for divorce... but divorce may be the outcome of sticking up for yourself. Either way, sticking up for yourself must come though strength and faith in self that no matter the outcome you will be content in and of your actions.
She absolutely needs an objective perspective to her feelings as well... counseling doesn't just help us find new paths for the ways we defeat ourselves, it helps us validate the good or true in the paths we are on.
You shook up her world in the worst way when you told her you weren't sure in love with her, whether that was true with you or not... bad enough that she tried to recover from that in the most unmindful of ways, validation that she was loved somehow, some way, by any means possible with horrible choices... she needs to get her mind right so her own outcomes are not destructive.
I understand when one's world feels collapsed when they are told they are not as loved as they thought, her walls and poor choices are owned only by her, and while you helped build them with some influence, only she can take them down, this is where IC will help at first, then MC to follow if she is interested.
If she is not, you will have a hard decision to make because she will have made hers.
I do wish you both the best, but the best where you are may not be a path together.