how to be attractive for your husband - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 08:47 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
What I know about women... we love to give. We are giving and we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated. Once appreciation stops and expectation starts, it's not fun anymore.
Curious, why is this just women, you could argue this would apply to both men and women... I don't think it is a one way street and just as many guys would say the same thing (i.e we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated)
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post #17 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 08:57 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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Curious, why is this just women, you could argue this would apply to both men and women... I don't think it is a one way street and just as many guys would say the same thing (i.e we love to make our spouse happy and we will go above and beyond IF we FEEL appreciated)


I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.
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post #18 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 09:04 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.
I think you are talking about two different things. Feeling appreciated has nothing to do with being maternal. Both men and women want to feel appreciated. Now, what constitutes feeling appreciated may vary between genders.
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post #19 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 09:06 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

SOME men can be neanderthals. They work hard, they come home and relax, work hard around the house. They are less intuned to women's emotions and feelings. Their wife could be miserable, depressed, dis connected and they wouldn't know it.
Women do a lot of stupid sh*t. A lot of lovey dovey small detail stuff that means a lot to them and their spouse don't realize it. And they get their feelings hurt. Men and women are truly from different planets. Yes there is a spectrum with how intune to emotions you are, but stereotypically women are more intuned and emotionally driven than men. And men don't get it and it can be frustrating for women. Women need a lot more than men to be happy imo. Doesn't mean women are bad or men are bad, just that men and women are very different and it makes marriage hard.
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post #20 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 09:08 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

I have no idea what this has to do with the OP post. Oops sorry everyone I got off track lol.
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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 09:24 AM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

What i find atractive and sexy in my wife is her attitude which is a reflection of her soul. I view changes in her body as variety and love it all.

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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katiecrna View Post
I think that women are biologically maternal. It's in our DNA unlike men. We are givers, we are pleasers, we want to take people in and take care of them. It brings us joy to care for someone. This is biology. Some people would go as far to say this is one of the reasons why women were created.
Hmmm... you don't think men give, care for, nurture and protect? Or is it a matter of when this happens?

Observe the behavior of a guy who has a good woman, or one who has kids. That is the epitome of "maternal" (which I do not like to even use in that context).
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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 12:24 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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If it isn't about fashion and "sex appeal" (cough) wear sweats and moomoos for a month or two straight and see how it works.
@john117 wait just a minute sir, I disagree!



It is awesome to feel your wife be attracted to you when you just be yourself, moomoo and all. What is important is communication and sincerity



The best thing about wearing moomoos and sitting close to your computer is that it give you that extra few seconds to hide you porn when your wife walks up behind you. A skinny guy in the nude would be BUSTED.



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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 02:34 PM
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how to be attractive for your husband

Didn't read the article but I may,

I can say being attractive for your SO changes in different places of life.

In our younger days, we wanted to remove as much clothing as possible. I bought teddies and things which I enjoyed immensely, though.

Fast forward... now I am much more demanding about my W's appearance. But it's not just for me. I got cancer and realized I wanted her to be a good catch once I was gone. I realized guys are pretty shallow about initial attraction and I felt her appearance didn't portray what I saw in her. So I've been pushing her - wear better fitting clothing, maybe a centimeter of cleavage, etc. she's beautiful and sexy but has been in mom mode for far too long.

As it relates to our marriage, I want her to feel like the woman I see. And she has a hard time transitioning. So wardrobe is important in that transition

Last night she had a pretty red bra and panties and looked beautiful. But what really knocked me out was what she laid down beside me and we shared our bedroom eyes. The passion, the closeness, the connection.. all show up in her face. And THAT is the real attraction.

[edit] for those who haven't had this - it changes her whole face - it is a face only I see and it's amazing

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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 03:42 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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Interesting but too one-sided. A husband needs to maintain his attractiveness as well. Why is it all on the woman?
This is very true.I own a gym and at Christmas the amount of women who buy yearly memberships for their husbands/boyfriends that will rarely be used is huge.It's Funny though not one man has bought his wife/girlfriend a membership.The women using the gym far outnumber the men
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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 07:34 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

I haven't met a whole bunch of women in my life who wouldn't feel insulted if their significant other bought them a gym membership.

It's like saying ”hey you're fat, go workout'
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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 08:07 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

We're both runners, so my hb sees me in in sweaty running clothes a lot.

Beyond that I'm a jeans type.

I do put effort into hair and skin care because I believe in self care.

He seems to want lots of sex with me.

But he puts effort into his appearance as well.....I don't need to put effort into my appearance for someone who can't be bothered to do the same for me.
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 10:16 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

I could pretty much agree with everything in the article...in the sense that I do these things and essentially agree about "why" I do them...but I also understand how this article could make people want to barf. I definitely don't see it as good advice to every woman every where. I mean, some women put no thought into being attractive to their husbands at all and may be doing nothing on this list, and yet their husbands are wildly attracted to them. And there are other women who do everything on this list and more whose husbands will never be attracted to them. Sometimes it doesn't even matter to a couple of there's attraction as long as there is respect.

The underlying message in the article is that it really is about respect...but they suggest you respect him in these certain, specific ways. And they impy AMALT, which is never true, of course.

I personally love feeling mutual attraction with a partner. I simply love it. I want us to be fit and attractive for each other, wear flattering clothes for each other, and act in ways each other finds attractive. Including really sweet romantic stuff, and fun sexy stuff. I love the feel of that deep attraction (mine toward him). It feels amazing! It makes me want to come closer to him all the time. Knowing he is extremely attracted to me and gets that amazing rush from it too is wonderful.

So to me this article is like, yeah, I'm doing all of that, because I want to. But I'd never try to explain to someone else that they should be this way too.

The author is saying "ladies, a lot of you end up with men who lose attraction to you and leave...try to heed this advice now before it is too late!"

This is true both ways of course...."hey boys...a lot of you end up with women who lose attraction to you and leave..."

But this message is simply never constructive or beneficial when it is applied globally. Because not everyone ends up with a person who looses attraction to you, and so many other factors come into play in loss of attraction that it is just meaningless in this context.

Remember the goal of feminism: Making sure only alphas get laid!
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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-29-2016, 10:21 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

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A husband who "avoids or shuts down" on his wife when he feels uncomfortable is not one I personally would want to be with. Way too much work.

But if a woman wants to stay with a man like that, then reassuring him, making him feel safe with her, is likely what she will have to do.

Let's just call it what it is, though: her taking responsibility for the relationship, because he cannot or will not.
JLD, you are right. Far too many women have to take responsibility for the relationship, why should they? it should be 50:50 iIMO
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old 12-31-2016, 03:38 PM
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Re: how to be attractive for your husband

Its simple.

Our ladies take care of themselves, are in great shape, sexy, wear those sexy outfits and drive us wild for them.The sex is often, fun and adventurous.

When our ladies gain a lot of weight, don't dress sexy anymore and the sex is once in a while....you can guess the result.

So how to be attractive to your hubby is very simple. Us guys are very visual and physical / sexual. Simple.

Wearing sweat pants, needing to lose weight, low sex drive, etc., equals unattractive wife.


Men are less emotional, do one thing at a time really well, focused, get it done, were as women are the opposite.

Don't expect your man to be emotional like a woman and in tune with feelings ,etc. Men are not wired that way. Just like don't expect women to be less emotional, like us guys. They aren't wired that way. Communication is key both ways.

Strength and Honor. What we do in life echo's in eternity.

Last edited by CuddleBug; 12-31-2016 at 03:42 PM.
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