future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please help - Page 2 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #16 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 10:36 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

I had this problem before, makes sex very painful.
Healing process was 2 weeks for me, we completely stopped all activities.
@badsanta said everything correctly, I would also like to add that switching from fragrances type shower or bath cleansers to a PH balanced ones available at the pharmacy.

And Coconut Oil is really a great product, no issues since!

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post #17 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 11:05 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

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Originally Posted by da86 View Post
im making effort believe me, wont get into it right here but doing everything in my power to make sure that isnt the issue
about learning from her, its real difficult, she is so shy about this stuff, not easy to talk to her about sex stuff , she get so uncomfortable that she start making joke to avoid talking serious about this, as i said before, frustrating.

as i said, we will soon get married, everything about her i just love, no complaints whatsoever, just this issue needs to be resolved and i dont know how anymore.
Ask those boards some women will have gone through something similar.
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post #18 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 11:59 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

I have had this problem with my W many times over the years. Her V is a very delicate and complicated place. Believe me, you are doing the right thing to continue to work with her to be sure she gets comfortable with herself and talking about sex, etc. it's common for women to not want to talk about these things.

She is noticing the right things - smells and pain are common with UTI and UTI are very common and can reoccur, unfortunately, for some women.

Does she drink cranberry juice and do other things when this happens? Hopefully the women here can provide some home care ideas if your doctors are not doing what they should be doing.

So the bottom line is: yes these can reoccur; yes you can be giving her an irritation or bacteria that reinfects her; yes they can reoccur if she is irritated due to inadequate lubrication, the wrong lubrication, your own sperm, etc


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post #19 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 12:04 PM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

Do a lot of research about UTI. And take her to a different doctor. What city are you in? I know someone who lives there, he might know a good doctor.
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post #20 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-03-2017, 12:07 PM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

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Originally Posted by MrsAldi View Post
I would also like to add that switching from fragrances type shower or bath cleansers to a PH balanced ones available at the pharmacy.

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I had a recurring yeast infection problem that turned out to be related to a new body wash I liked. A dear friend had terrible problems for months due to her family switching to a new laundry detergent. So many things can upset the balance in the vagina that I pretty much only use warm water or PH balanced washes to clean that area just to avoid potential problems. Yeast and bacterial infections are no fun.

Here in the U.S., PH balanced feminine washes are available in pretty much every large chain supermarket, too. If they are hard to find locally, there is always ordering online.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 01-04-2017, 04:21 PM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

Although rare, I believe it is possible for a woman to be/become allergic to a man's semen.
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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 06:15 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

It could be you actually, and not her

1. your hygiene, do you shower first, use soaps, clean hands, etc
2. she may have seminal plasma hypersensitivity, (alergic to your semen)
3. Condoms can cause or sensitivity due to cheap latex, scented, etc
4. Lubes can also cause the same problems

I would suggest you work through each of this and through a process of elimination try and find the source

Instead of going to a regular GP visit a gynae with your GF.
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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 07:37 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

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Originally Posted by aine View Post
It could be you actually, and not her

1. your hygiene, do you shower first, use soaps, clean hands, etc
2. she may have seminal plasma hypersensitivity, (alergic to your semen)
3. Condoms can cause or sensitivity due to cheap latex, scented, etc
4. Lubes can also cause the same problems

I would suggest you work through each of this and through a process of elimination try and find the source

Instead of going to a regular GP visit a gynae with your GF.
Really look into this OP. Some of us women are very sensitive and can respond to imbalances very quickly. I got a yeast infection once from my partner not washing his hands before fingering me. I could feel something was not right within minutes of his fingers being in there. Full blown infection showed within hours.

One of my girlfriend's is so sensitive both she and her partner absolutely must shower immediately before the act and she must shower after otherwise she gets infections. You can imagine how restrictive that makes her sex life. It took years of doctor visits, painful sex and trial and error before she figured that one out. Didn't even know that level of sensitivity existed before she revealed this to me.
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:34 AM
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future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please help

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Really look into this OP. Some of us women are very sensitive and can respond to imbalances very quickly. I got a yeast infection once from my partner not washing his hands before fingering me. I could feel something was not right within minutes of his fingers being in there. Full blown infection showed within hours.



One of my girlfriend's is so sensitive both she and her partner absolutely must shower immediately before the act and she must shower after otherwise she gets infections. You can imagine how restrictive that makes her sex life. It took years of doctor visits, painful sex and trial and error before she figured that one out. Didn't even know that level of sensitivity existed before she revealed this to me.


Yes absolutely always clean. Too many variables and the "v thang" is so sensitive to hormones, abrasions, infection, etc. Slight curves in you or her can cause huge discomfort that a slight position adjustment can fix. Unfortunately porn makes it seem like you can just ram anything in there and she'll be squealing with delight - and maybe that's true for a few - but don't assume that's the norm.

[edit: btw I'm not assuming you're a Neanderthal and think porn is real, but it does condition us to create some very wrong misconceptions]

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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 10:42 AM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

I used to get bacterial infections every single time I had sex w/an ex. It was horrible because he never believed me and kept blaming me. Once he started doing a better job keeping his junk clean and washing his hands before he touched me the issue went away. I still left him though bc I couldn't get over being blamed for something that wasn't my fault.

You could also be carrying something and not know it. Hopefully you're making a doctor appt for yourself if you haven't already.
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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please hel

Quote:
Originally Posted by Keke24 View Post
Really look into this OP. Some of us women are very sensitive and can respond to imbalances very quickly. I got a yeast infection once from my partner not washing his hands before fingering me. I could feel something was not right within minutes of his fingers being in there. Full blown infection showed within hours.
Quote:
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I used to get bacterial infections every single time I had sex w/an ex. It was horrible because he never believed me and kept blaming me. Once he started doing a better job keeping his junk clean and washing his hands before he touched me the issue went away.
Some women may go through a period in life where they are also much more prone to irritations and infection due to stress. While cleanliness is always a good thing, the additional stress alone created by trying to be close to a partner that does not care to be extra clean for you can even be enough to throw a woman completely off balance.

Imagine walking into an ER and being asked to eat off the floor. You look down and see scuff marks next to your scrambled eggs. Within an moments of eating, your stomach starts to turn and you start feeling ill. A doctor walks up and because he feels for certain the floor is adequately sterilized that you already had an illness that caused you to feel sick prior to eating. So before you eat off the floor next time, you are given antacids before and after your meal. Meanwhile the scuff marks on the floor are always next to your scrambled eggs.

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Last edited by badsanta; 02-17-2017 at 01:55 PM.
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 02-17-2017, 01:58 PM
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future wife keep saying she hurt after sex, at a loss for ways to fix, please help

OP is long gone.

I would have asked what meds is the wife taking. Some will result in a yeast infection.

Oral diflucan probably would clear it up. She initially was given an anti fungal insert. In the US the dosage is normal just 1-3 days. If she was given 6 days she had an older the formulation, but that might be the standard in Thailand and less expensive

Disclaimer. I am not a medical professional. I just have professional and familial experience with antifungals.
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