Abstinence for bj's - Page 4 - Talk About Marriage
Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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post #46 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:23 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

For me... things that I get off to while masterbating are things I would never do and like in reality. (Watching a girl deepthroat and gag is better than being the one who can't stop gagging and can't breath). This is probably because when your masterbating your enjoying just the visual. Also because masterbating is so sub par to actually being with my husband that I need a more extreme stimulus to orgasm when I'm doing it myself.
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post #47 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:30 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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Originally Posted by aimee21 View Post
I think it's more of a kink. He doesn't ask for it all the time or need to do it everytime we are in bed. It's more like every other month or so and he will ask before he starts taking his little vitamins. The only time it was difficult for me was when I was full term pregnant.
So if it's not a requirement, which I believe is the definition of 'fetish', and you are OK with it.....why not?

I do things that I know my wife likes, that are not on the 'man on top normal' way of doing things, by any stretch of the imagination.
She does things for me, in the same not quite normal category. Again....why not.
As long as it's not degrading to one of you, or gross....??

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post #48 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:39 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

No, not degrading at all or I would tell him. The only time it seemed gross was when I was very pregnant and I gagged from it easier.
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post #49 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:46 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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No, not degrading at all or I would tell him. The only time it seemed gross was when I was very pregnant and I gagged from it easier.
Well....there ya go! I can understand the pregnant thing.....lots of things don't work then!
Got something you'd like him to do for you? It's all fair!

"Trade ya!"....could be an interesting question!
(has been around us Lurksters!)

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post #50 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-05-2017, 01:49 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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Originally Posted by Lurkster View Post
So if it's not a requirement, which I believe is the definition of 'fetish', and you are OK with it.....why not?

I do things that I know my wife likes, that are not on the 'man on top normal' way of doing things, by any stretch of the imagination.
She does things for me, in the same not quite normal category. Again....why not.
As long as it's not degrading to one of you, or gross....??

Trust me its gross. Just ask my wife. Pretty sure she would tell you about how semen is just another gross nasty thing that comes from your body like urine or feces.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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post #51 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 03:49 AM
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Abstinence for bj's

You're a good wife. ;

I've run into the blowbang when it's inserted into compilations or pmv videos. Not my thing but you are latching onto something if that's his direction.

That's definitely a domination fantasy where the girl is insatiable.

Frankly, if you start to act like you can't take the volume in his normal activity, you might be able to eliminate the drama of the abstinence period. He seems to think he has to initiate the fantasy by building volume but it's the setting and response that's the turn on.

In my opinion, as Board Certified Doctor Of Porn (due solely to the passage of time), this is all about you bowing down to his awesomeness because you need it and want it. Frankly you can role play this anytime you want. And if you take charge of the role play unexpectedly it could be a huge turn on. Maybe script it out and watch a few of those videos to see what they're saying - the specific words used might be what is exciting. IDK

Just some random thoughts. Funny how graphic we can be with strangers, but I'm really glad you are reaching out and getting ideas to interject some freak into your marriage.


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post #52 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 05:46 AM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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No, not degrading at all or I would tell him. The only time it seemed gross was when I was very pregnant and I gagged from it easier.
This guy is such a selfish pig.

He can't even respect his extremely pregnant wife and the discomfort you're already dealing with 24/7 because he needs to fly his freak flag or God forbid, the earth will stop spinning.

Disgusting.
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post #53 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 06:00 AM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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No, not degrading at all or I would tell him. The only time it seemed gross was when I was very pregnant and I gagged from it easier.
If you knew a surefire way to make your orgasm longer lasting and more intense, you'd do it, right? That's what your husband is doing, so why not, eh? It's no different than "edging" or doing a 1-2 week "sex reset" to increase intensity and desire. You seem to be into it, so who cares what friends think?

I was really sensitive to taste and texture when I was pregnant. I literally couldn't complete a BJ properly (swallow) without being nauseous until after the birth.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #54 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 07:50 AM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

So I assume he's either jacking into your mouth like a porn or giving a facial? Because if as you say "it's a visual thing" then he must see it coming out, unlike a regular CIM BJ. For my wife, I'm always worried that it's too much for her, so I kinda do the opposite.
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post #55 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:26 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

Anyone have any idea what average volumes even are? W says I have large volume so she won't go to completion but IDK she's just not into it. But who knows?

Is 8 oz a lot?


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post #56 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:30 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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Anyone have any idea what average volumes even are? W says I have large volume so she won't go to completion but IDK she's just not into it. But who knows?

Is 8 oz a lot?


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Uh thats 2/3 of a can of pop or beer. LOL.

"Masturbate with just a slick hand and thoughts of your wife." --Intheory
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post #57 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 03:55 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

Thats completely normal, just like a 14" penis.




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Uh thats 2/3 of a can of pop or beer. LOL.
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post #58 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 04:04 PM
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Occasionally my husband will ask if we can not have sex for a week or so prior to asking for a bj. He also will ask if it's ok that he takes certain supplements that are designed solely to increase sperm production. I will usually agree and let him but was just curious if other men do this as well? My other sahm friends never heard of men doing this for bj.
.

You're husband is lucky to have you.
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post #59 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 05:27 PM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

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Thats completely normal, just like a 14" penis.


Fwew! I told her the pain and gagging were HER issue all along and she was just being a wimp. Thanks for the clarification @uhtred


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post #60 of 65 (permalink) Old 01-07-2017, 06:21 AM
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Re: Abstinence for bj's

For me is totally different
I have already a big load and its disturbing .
I don't have any fun to finish orally for me its soooo disrespecting specially if you will kiss after or next day :-))))
But the BJ still the fun after shower for some minutes also .I go down end her in condition I need to don't speak nothing like that she like .
For me if she speak its turn me crazy ..
About the load sometimes big sometimes no I don't take nothing I think some kind of fruits or fish make difference ah juses avocado and dry fruits nuts ...

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