Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn - Page 3 - Talk About Marriage
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post #31 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:08 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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I'm not necessarily against porn but that's probably because my husband rarely watches it. It's usually limited to when I'm out of town for a few days. I would absolutely have issues with it if he was looking at it every week. On the other hand, I have no issues with him reading erotica. At least then, he's got use his imagination to create the characters in his head. They aren't real people.

Funny enough, I asked my husband once how he would feel if I masturbated to bbc/bwc porn regularly. He said it would make him feel inadequate, like I was secretly wanting something that he's not. That's exactly how I see it.

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OK so what if it is virtual reality CGI porn, which is a thing and is going to be a big thing in the future as graphics and virtual reality become more and more realistic. Those aren't real people?
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post #32 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:09 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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OK so what if it is virtual reality CGI porn, which is a thing and is going to be a big thing in the future as graphics and virtual reality become more and more realistic. Those aren't real people?
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post #33 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:12 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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I don't think I'd feel inadequate if I caught my wife using porn. It'd probably be the type of porn where people complain all the time since that's what it seems she gets off on these days.
Yeah, I guess it is probably as much dependent on the person, the type of porn, the circumstances, etc... I would imagine that if my W showed little interest in sex and/or constantly rejected me, but then I catch her watching porn, there would be a part of me that would feel inadequate (would be hard not to).
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post #34 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:15 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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And this picture here is proof that vr porn is going to be a big old wet fart except for the most desperate basement dwellers.
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post #35 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:19 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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OK so what if it is virtual reality CGI porn, which is a thing and is going to be a big thing in the future as graphics and virtual reality become more and more realistic. Those aren't real people?
It wouldn't change my opinion but I'll ask him if he'd mind me watching big c0ck CGI porn.

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post #36 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:32 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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And this picture here is proof that vr porn is going to be a big old wet fart except for the most desperate basement dwellers.
Sure . Scoff if you want but sex has driven every new technology for the last 100 years. Movies, VHS, DVD, internet. VR porn will be no exception. VR porn will account for at least 50% of all of it's use. Just like porn is 50% of the internet. It's human nature.

Now the butt doll thing may not, but after VR porn comes robots. Maybe not for our generation but it's coming (no pun intended).
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post #37 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:36 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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Sure . Scoff if you want but sex has driven every new technology for the last 100 years. Movies, VHS, DVD, internet. VR porn will be no exception. VR porn will account for at least 50% of all of it's use. Just like porn is 50% of the internet. It's human nature.

Now the butt doll thing may not, but after VR porn comes robots. Maybe not for our generation but it's coming (no pun intended).
IIRC the two biggest industries that gained by the internet were gambling and porn.

I believe such robots actually came into existence (no pun intended lol) recently. I forget where (maybe in Asia) but I was reading an article about. I do believe that VR porn (along with whatever "peripherals" created) will become big (whether that is a good or bad thing, I guess only time will tell).

You actually don't even need a full sized doll ...


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post #38 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:45 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

I hate porn because in college we were shown movies in one of my sociology classes about the back side of the porn industry. Anyone who honestly thinks most porn actresses WANT to be doing it is sadly mistaken. Most of them are forced through fear, intimidation, extreme poverty, or addiction. And despite the illegality, many of them ARE under 18.

Why would any decent person want to support that? Whenever I hear a guy ask what is wrong with porn I want to ask him how he would feel if his own daughter somehow got trapped in that kind of life.

I also believe it teaches boys and young men to objectify women which is obviously not healthy and isn't going to lead to appropriate sexual behavior within a relationship.
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post #39 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 01:47 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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I hate porn because in college we were shown movies in one of my sociology classes about the back side of the porn industry. Anyone who honestly thinks most porn actresses WANT to be doing it is sadly mistaken. Most of them are forced through fear, intimidation, extreme poverty, or addiction. And despite the illegality, many of them ARE under 18.
Then you should celebrate CGI porn and support it because no real people are used in making it.

Lots of woman like porn, lots of woman like to be objectified. Just saying.
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post #40 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:06 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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Then you should celebrate CGI porn and support it because no real people are used in making it.

Lots of woman like porn, lots of woman like to be objectified. Just saying.



Just disgusting.


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post #41 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:07 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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I hate porn because in college we were shown movies in one of my sociology classes about the back side of the porn industry. Anyone who honestly thinks most porn actresses WANT to be doing it is sadly mistaken. Most of them are forced through fear, intimidation, extreme poverty, or addiction. And despite the illegality, many of them ARE under 18.

Why would any decent person want to support that? Whenever I hear a guy ask what is wrong with porn I want to ask him how he would feel if his own daughter somehow got trapped in that kind of life.

I also believe it teaches boys and young men to objectify women which is obviously not healthy and isn't going to lead to appropriate sexual behavior within a relationship.
Unfortunately that has changed and there are performers both male and female that enjoy their work in the sex industry.

For some performers in the LGBTQIA community, they feel that their work in the adult film industry gives other LGBTQIA the confidence to cope with who they really are, stop feeling ashamed, and move towards being accepted by society.

It is very SAD that the film you were shown in college was likely funded by a political agenda to instill fear, shame, and hatred about pornography. Yes there are problems with both porn and the porn industry, but I could also sit you down and show you how charitable organizations such as the Red Cross cause more harm than good by subduing those that would otherwise be called into action by thinking, "hey the Red Cross is taking care of this, no need for me to worry."

Officials respond to Haiti Red Cross scandal - CNN.com

I could instill the same fear, shame, and hatred in you about these organizations as well, but here is my point, WHY WOULD I DO THAT? Odds are I would have some politically funded agenda manipulating what I teach to you!

As much as I dislike a lot about porn, it has positive aspects as well. But this thread is not about that.

Regards,
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post #42 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:10 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

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In that case they just married wrong. Seems like a waste in my opinion but everyone is entitled to their boundaries. Better to talk about these things before you get married.

Porn use is an issue of compatibility that needs be discussed before marriage. Unfortunately, unlike religion, lifestyle, family life, etc...it's not typically discussed. I don't understand why anyone would hide their porn use/habit from a potential lifelong partner but it only causes trouble in the long run.


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post #43 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:22 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

My first question when porn discussions come up is often whether one who uses porn would be ok with their daughter doing it, assuming it's what she wanted.

If so at least they're consistent.

All porn actresses are someone's daughter, so if it's ok for you to get off to their daughter it should be ok for them to get off to your daughter.

But if you watch porn and would be unhappy with your daughter doing it you should think about that.

I have sons and would be unhappy if they did porn.

But I don't watch it. I have in the past but it doesn't do much for me.
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post #44 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:25 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

There is some porn produced under abusive conditions and that is bad. Other porn is produced by actors /actresses who are happy with their careers - and sometimes very well paid.

There is a lot of homemade porn that people produce and distribute for free - presumably out of some exhibitionist kink. I have no problem at all with this as a way for voyeurs and exhibitionists to make each other happy.


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Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
I hate porn because in college we were shown movies in one of my sociology classes about the back side of the porn industry. Anyone who honestly thinks most porn actresses WANT to be doing it is sadly mistaken. Most of them are forced through fear, intimidation, extreme poverty, or addiction. And despite the illegality, many of them ARE under 18.

Why would any decent person want to support that? Whenever I hear a guy ask what is wrong with porn I want to ask him how he would feel if his own daughter somehow got trapped in that kind of life.

I also believe it teaches boys and young men to objectify women which is obviously not healthy and isn't going to lead to appropriate sexual behavior within a relationship.
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post #45 of 357 (permalink) Old 01-06-2017, 02:32 PM
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Re: Wives (and husbands) who don't want their partner using porn

I see porn as equivalent to sexy toys.

1) Used together as a couple - fine.

2) Used when not in a relationship - fine unless the use becomes excessive to the point of interfering with the rest of life, or becomes addictive (eg, you want to stop but can't).

3) Used individually in a relationship: I think its fine as long as it does not interfere with your sex life with your partner. Generally that means never turning your partner down for sex and then using porn (or masturbating in any fashion). It also means understanding the difference between fantasy and reality and not expecting "porn sex" to be always a realistic depiction of good sex in real life

An exception to #3 is if your partner is fundamentally selfish in bed and unwilling to try to please you, then I think it is OK to use porn rather than have sex with a selfish lover

A caveat to #3 is that if your partner regularly turns you down for sex, AND you have made serous attempts to both be a good lover and to fix other relationship issues, its find to use as much porn as you like.

Another caveat to #3 is that (especially for men), if you use porn, and then your partner wants sex, you should do your best to please them whatever way you can, even if you are no longer in the mood.
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