Originally Posted by Middle of Everything View Post
No sh!t. 20 YEARS?? You've got to be kidding me. She really doesnt want to do it then.
She often seems really embarrassed for some reason when things get really hot in the bedroom and she looses control. She likes be very in control.
I'm thinking she wants you to "rape" her. Plenty women have this fantasy, myself included.
PS: not rape in the sense of a stranger taking you against your will, violently.
I thought about this, but discarded the idea. I do know many women have fantasies of sex being rough and being dominated by a partner. My wife and I have spoken in detail that she NEEDS an emotional connection during intimacy or no matter what I do that it will just not happen. While I have not been rough with her, I do occasionally play aggressively and playful and I can tell that doing that is not really her thing.
20 years! Wow!
I stumbled on one of my wife's fantasies by accident. That was after about 5 years.
When i asked where her orgasm came from, one like I had never seen before, she told me she had wanted me to do that to her for years! Go figure. I'd have never guessed she had that fantasy, and when i asked, she said she never would have told me. She was afraid i would have thought she was a perv or something. One thing....it was nothing i would have thpought of doing, much less that she wanted me to.
Anyway....i did it all the time after that.....and i did it better and with more and great enthusiasm!
She told me another little thing she wanted to try later, and i did that too! Then...another and another.
One good ffantasy deserves another....
Get her drunk, and pry it out of her!
Or you may never know what you are missng....and her either!
I do actually believe that my wife has some ideas that she does not want to share with me. She has hinted at many things in the past after the fact that I have not done, but I do not know if she was just playfully criticizing my lovemaking (OMG she does that nonstop!) or if it was something she wants for real. ONLY RECENTLY has she been opening up about things that are helpful for me to do for her in the bedroom. Most of which involve me being extremely aroused before I initiate, but I thinks she likes this mostly because it puts her in control with minimal effort. So that translates in my book that she just wants to be lazy and enjoy ME doing all the work.
I was being playful this morning discussing a variety of extremely inappropriate things I had "planned" just fishing with ideas to see how she would respond to them if any would cause her eyebrows to raise. She just looked at me calmly and said, "I really do not like the idea of honey in the bed as it will make the sheets all sticky! Please do not try that one."
In my opinion there probably is something that she would want me to try, but she is really not that confident yet to ask for things that are just for her pleasure. I describe in detail to her what those things are for me, so when she does something she knows exactly what it will do to me. Meanwhile I get no feedback from her other than occasionally stumbling across something that sends her through the roof, and then she seems embarrassed afterwards and even accuses me of making fun of her because I got excited (but I do not make fun of her).
I'm guessing she likes being in control, but revealing a fantasy to me would involve her letting go. While she trusts me in our marriage, she would probably fear that I would use such knowledge about her fantasies to extort more sex out of her. Would I do that? Probably...