Re: Problem with wanting sex to just be natural
Ask her to leave hints around the house that are not descriptive so that you can figure it out. Leave clues like a treasure hunt. May be 20 leads might do. Ask or or does she hint or get involved in the story line when watching T.V? (like we do watching football, playing video games etc.? Take a look when she is spending an extra long time at pictures in magazines, does she subscribe to something, steal one or two of her romance novels that she raves about and read it. There may be a hit there. Try to keep your ears open when she is on the telephone talking to her mother, daughter, friends. Take her friend to the side and ask. "Hey Joan, I want to spice up my marriage, Has my wife hinted what she would like. The best scenario would be it so say. "I want to make you happy. Tell me what you want!" The reason being is that she will grow in contempt and will fell ashamed and feel that she is not safe to share her most intimate part of herself. When you or she gets to the point of too afraid to share, ask for needs net, and do not set up the right occasion to romance that leads the champagne room the marriage is over. Six months ago my wife was talking to daughter about wanting a pink tool set because I and her son kept using her tool bag. Least be told, she liked the pink Craftsman tool bag and the pink generic tool set I got her from Menards for $10.00/$20.00 and I had to submit a rebate form. $10.00 made her smile on Christmas day.
I tell you that when the safety feeling stops in relating or other emotional stuff, no amount of counseling can undue the chastity belt in your heart and soul to continue loving her or her loving you anymore. She is not telling you do to shame or fear. Plus women want us to know what is in their mind. You know how that is. I don't think either of us picked the winning lotto numbers to win a million dollar jack put.
Go on a hunt and listen and observe - it could be fun. "When she says I am waiting for you to figure it out- again." Do this, Look in her eyes, and say, "Oh, this can be fun, I can be your romantic Sherlock Holmes!, Leave me some clues around the house my sexy Watson kittin," Then KISS her and walk away somewhat immediately. Don't open your mouth at all to say something. If you become the first person you talk after you said that, the intrigue ends like a failed catch by a fullback in the end zone and you just ruined the moment. As you turn your back and walk away it will most likely should bring a smile to her face and hopefully intrigue her.
Good luck and you have nothing to lose. I, and others will be excited for your mission to see if it ever pans out. Get going and report so us men can have our Hallmark moment! besides us crying when Lee Marvin blows up a German McMansion in the "Dirty Doze." LOL>
Dude! Please spill the beans an give us details the morning after. Us may learn something we can use.